


Dollars in the Swear Jar

by Nataco



Category: Lovecraft Country (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:01:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 51,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27054592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nataco/pseuds/Nataco
Summary: Modern AU: There's still magic but, the story is a bit different. Ruby's a singer about to make a big break and Christina is a professor at U of Chicago. They are baby-sitting George when a mysterious stranger shows up.
Relationships: Christina Braithwhite/Ruby Baptiste, Ruby Baptiste/Christina Braithwhite, Ruby/Christina
Comments: 120
Kudos: 243





	1. Chapter 1

"Fuck," Christina hisses pulling her thumb to her mouth. The sharp blade nicked her finger as she cut the carrots Ruby asked her to.

"Ooo Christina said a bad word," the young boy sitting at the table says loudly. Christina turns and glares at her youngest cousin who sticks his tongue out at her. George wasn't afraid of her, at all, he'd seen her covered head to toe in blood raining from the sky when he was around 4. It lasted all of 5 minutes though as her shoggath tore apart a man in front of her. Leti held the boy and cowered near the frame of her house trying to cover his eyes but George seemed fascinated not afraid. Ruby walked outside unbothered, heels on, and ripped the whistle fresh out of Christina's lips. 

"If you don't send that thing back to the fucking woods Christina. We aren't keeping one of you and Tics damn pets." Ruby raised her voice in a way she usually only had to with her youngest sibling.

Christina starts, "But..."

"But nothing," Ruby cuts her off, " but my ass someone comes asking questions. If you want a pet so bad we can get a dog, a cat, not a monster with a million eyes."

The shoggath almost as big as a very large dog gurgles and spits coughing out an arm. Ruby diverts her eyes at the slimy disgusting beast of a creature that Christina had the nerve to call cute. That was the day Christina sulked off with her baby shoggath tucked under a wool blanket back to the car. 

"Christina did what," Ruby walks in the kitchen both arms holding bags of groceries. She smiles at her nephew, she was babysitting for her sister and brother in law who "had a guide trip". She leans over George's head to see the drawings he's scribbled over pieces of paper that Diana always gave him. His small feet kicking back and forth. His glasses, too big for his face.

George whispers to his aunt, "Christina said the f word cause she doesn't know how to use a knife."

Christina rolls her eyes, still holding her thumb with a paper towel. She knew perfectly well how to use a knife. She was just distracted is all. The blood leaking from her thumb is slowly soaking through the white cloth. Blood doesn't make her dizzy or anything but it does make her wanna run to their basement to do a run of tests on herself. Try to see if anything has changed with one of her experiments. Ruby did not enjoy that most of her tests were on herself, but the risks were usually low.

"Oh that is a bad word, how about you go watch some cartoons and i'll get you a dollar for the swear jar." Ruby says all of this putting a brown bag on the counter glancing at Christina. George's eyes light up and he nods grabbing his stack of drawing materials before running off to the living room. His sneakers squeak from the kitchen to the hallway.

Christina leans back against the counter watching Ruby put away cereal boxes and dried goods. She helps with the other bag sitting on the table. Ruby is humming to herself before pulling out fruits and making her way to the fridge. Christina watches as Ruby opens the metal door and organizes things just so. 

Ruby stands and opens the freezer and stops moving. She lets the cool freezer air hit her face but she is listening. Listening for the sound of a steady stream of cartoons from the living room. George's laugh and singing along with the TV puts her at ease before turning to her partner.

"Let me see," Ruby holds her hand out for Christina's and uncovers the bleeding thumb. She glances at the woman shaking her head. It's a pretty deep clean cut but nothing that needs stitches. Not in their home at least. Ruby applies pressure as she pulls the thumb to her own lips. Hopefully the pressure will slow down the bleeding. Her painted red lips brushing the pale knuckles in hands.

Christina takes a step forward before using her injured hand on Ruby's mouth to guide her lips there. Ruby pulls back though quickly using her other hand to stop Christina.

"Control yourself woman," Ruby whispers, eyeing the space behind them. 

Christina rolls her eyes, "he knows we're together we aren't going to scar the kid, it's 2016 not 1956."

Ruby still holding the long hands in her own shuffles away from the fridge. Her foot pushes to close the door as Christina shuts the freezer with a free hand. They speak in hushed tones as Ruby looks for a first aid kit in the hallway bathroom. 

"I just don't want people spreading rumors, you know how much these kids talk," Ruby hums wiping the dried blood with a cotton ball soaked in hydrogen peroxide. The yellow bulb entrenched the small bathroom with just enough light so she could see the blue of veins as Christina balances against the sink.

Christina sucks in air as the peroxide seeps into her wound. She knows what Ruby means but it's not like it could ruin their careers. Well, not hers. What would the academic board of the University of Chicago say to her that they already hadn't. It was usually coded language about how this group of old men felt intimidated by the much younger professor. Jokes about her barely being older than her students or her lacking knowledge. They didn't know how hard she worked though they only heard her last name and saw her father.

Saw him the same way she did everytime she looked in the mirror just a little too long. Long past goading her own appearance and closer to tearing every mirror from off the walls in this home. Ruby reminded her just how different she was even though the woman had never met him. Christina pulls her tongue back between her teeth as the woman sitting on the closed toilet seat tends to her wound. Maybe if she did, she'd see how much they were alike and how all of Christina's efforts once were to best him. Best his worst, his failures that got him killed.

At least his death led her to her cousin, Atticus, who looked nothing like her. A history her father told her about with a weird sense of pride she never shared, but a curiosity for it sure. Tic showed up on campus one time with his girlfriend, Leti, and her sister who looked pissed to come with. Ruby didn't even notice Christina and that's one reason she liked her. Ruby was not dazzled by the bells, the whistles, nor impressed by the dark academia tour like Leti and Tic were. Ruby looked bored and barely shook her hand at their introduction.

It was a bit of a shock to her walking into the Jazz Showcase on Plymouth where she spotted the woman on stage singing. A sparkly dress practically sewn to the woman's curves. The dusty dim lights hitting every sequin on the dress reflecting light across Ruby's skin. Christina watched her colleagues fall under the same spell she managed to stave off. The uneasy heart broken vocals of blues falling against the guitar in her future lovers hands. Ruby was like that pulled people in with her voice effortlessly and that's one reason Christina knew the woman was going to be a big star. Before the talent scout, the record deal, or the eventual tour. 

From that moment on she was transfixed and very thankful she'd worn a good suit that night. Even though some students side eyed her during lecture a few of her female students had not minded the view. Light claps proceeded Ruby's descent from the stage and Christina held her composure following her to the bar. Paying for her drink and smiling into her own at the large pink flower perched in Ruby's hair. Ruby brushed off most of her wordy advances even something about having heard it all before. Christina held her composure but her eyes had always been crystal balls to her desires. Ruby stared into them for a little too long and Christina excused herself from a night of drunken historical rhetoric and banter. The night she had ended up much better.

"I think you won't need stitches, but please be careful with this, " Ruby sighs stretching a band-aid across Christina's thumb. She sighs because her lover was never cautious, Christina spoke recklessly without tenure, mildly flaunted her wealth, and drove like speed on wheels. Not one accident though, which Ruby didn't know if that meant the car was also protected or that Christina just drove that well.

The first time Christina had picked her up from Marshall Fields Ruby almost choked. A crisp silver classic luxury Bentley sat out front of the revolving doors with a smartly dressed woman leaned against it. Her work friends gawked as Ruby slowly made her way to the car, not letting the tall glass of femininity and androgyny kiss her lips but her cheek. She hadn't told her about needing a ride, just mentioned that taking the bus from long work days sucked. It came up when Christina mentioned never having even been on the bus or really any public transportation. Which gave Ruby an idea of whose bed she'd become more and more fond of. The woman who had walls filled with pinned butterflies, moths, and books piled to the ceiling. A spoiled rich introvert with not much real world experience. The street smarts were there though along with a heavy heavy dose of big dick energy.

Ruby swore if Christina had anymore bravado she'd have to start calling her William all the time. But as much as the privilege Christina lived and breathed in, pissed Ruby off, it felt comfortable. Felt like a match being lit or a sign she'd waited years to find and after they met things started to happen. Good and bad, Leti got pregnant, she quit her retail job, people around her got extremely ill, and then her career took off. It took off in such a way that Ruby wondered if Christina had been a lucky charm instead of a stranger with a secret named magic. While making love just before climax Christina would ask her, what dreams and wishes she had. As pleasure hit them both pulling them into a sea of ecstasy the blonde promised to make every single one come true. She believed most of the words that Christina said but kept caution in her back pocket.

Ruby knew she had to walk on eggshells outside of this dusty mansion with newly installed security systems. Even before the Rolling Stone feature she was cautious with Christina by her side. People in the south side knew her and respected her, but would stop buying or tipping if she stopped selling what they wanted. What they wanted did not include her flouncing around the city as some rich white woman's kept old lady. Months before she quit, a thunderstorm tore through Chicago, fierce. She'd tried to face it but the door slammed throwing rain back into her face and all over her jacket and dress. Ruby sat inside the department store dreading the walk to the bus stop and the eventual wait there. 

A man who was a regular of her local dive bar kept her spirits up knowing the struggle. She thought he worked at Marshall Fields too but wasn't sure. His kindness was flirtatious and pushy but she was used to men like him wanting her for what they could see. She was used to them in every shade and height, dealing with them even when they turned sour. Sour when her mouth led to rejection or in this case a tall woman draped in a designer trench coat, wearing a pristine outfit and riding boots clicking towards them. Expression non existent jaw stiff but her pathway a clear beeline to Ruby. Ruby met Christina's eyes with a certain smolder. He mumbled slurs to Chris under his breath bidding Ruby goodnight when he realized he was barking up the wrong tree. She wanted to rip the beard off his face right there, but Christina was more than capable of hexing him if she wanted to. Christina who only placed a hand on the small of Ruby's back, the other holding a large umbrella, and kept a collected expression even hearing his insults. Her only goal that night was to strip Ruby down article by article and bathe her. It was one of the first moments of raw intimacy they shared.

The look on Leti's face when she told her about their relationship was shock and concern all in one. Now wasn't much different but Leti called Chris the evil white witch of the north. It was funny because it was true but also because it made her write a song on her album. She probably wouldn't give a flying fuck about internet hate if her label wasn't so pressed about her image. They wanted sex appeal that sold and it was hard enough being bigger and dark skinned. Adding bisexual or whatever she felt for Christina on the freshly cemented table was too much, managements words not hers. She didn't tell Christina because it would just scrape along internal cuts made by insecurity. They at least were letting her keep the song on the album, with no pronoun changes. 

The response from fans was going to be interesting when the record dropped for sure, mainly positive she hoped. Ruby swallows her thoughts and gazes up toward the woman leaning against the sink. The moment she had the green light she was more than open to being hand in hand with Christina at events or more. She hopes it would be soon, with her new album dropping in a week and awards season just around the corner. Leti was always more than excited to stand in as her plus one but it would still hurt. She wanted her sister there as much as her lover and it sucked she had to choose between them. Also Ruby thought Christina was made for a runway. Which her partner dismisses the thought of, but at least the red carpet was pretty close.

"What are you thinking about," Ruby asks, seeing the distant look in Braithwhite's eyes. 

Christina pulls her look back to earth and hums, "the night we met."

"The sex....or," Ruby raises a brow reaching under the open sink to place the metal kit back. 

Christina feels her grin before she can even deny it. Ruby laughs quietly, "Is that all you think about when I'm home." 

It's a statement not a question but Christina answers anyway, "No. I'm thinking about all of it."

"That's a good memory ya'know," Ruby let's go of Christina's hand she is holding softly instead of inspecting. She stands up to the sink reaching around the other woman to wash her hands again. Christina looks down at the woman who was drying her hands. 

"What about you?" Christina asks dead panned. She may have been lost in her daydreams of soft skin and tight garters under her hands but she noticed the quietness of contemplation. 

"How much I can't stand you," Ruby says rolling her eyes but she feels hands sliding up the sides of her thighs. 

Christina leans forward wanting to close the space they both share. Ruby leans up brushing their noses together by accident. Ruby softens her eyes at the small smile on Christina's lips before letting her kiss her fully. Christina sighs into the kiss and the feeling of warmth on her lips. Her free hand leaning out to pull the heavy bathroom door completely shut.

Ruby gasps as her tongue is pulled into a kiss she has to fight the greedy nature of her desires. But her head dips to the side and her teeth end up sinking into the length of a pale untouched neck. Three months having not seen the woman who wielded power in a classroom, a lecture hall, and the sidewalk made her hungry. Hunger was usually Christina's thing but it happened to her too. Three months of rushed phone calls or planned video chats that could only last for so long on a crowded tour bus. Video chats that left her wanting to stop in on her lover by surprise on a slow leg of the tour but she never did, because her dreams were important too.

Luckily the last night of the tour was in Chicago which worked out well for her. The headliner had an encore song and brought her back on stage to sing with him. An after party in a closed back lot with plenty of liquor kept her whistle wet and her throat lubricated. A rumble she hadn't heard in several long months pulled into the lot and Ruby had her bags already packed. The band whistled as the blue Pontiac slowed and Ruby gave everyone a quick introduction to her friend the driver. William not Christina stood there very obviously tearing the dress she had on off with his eyes. The stairs in the old home were christened yet again. Ruby feels hands cupping her and moves her lips near the ear tucked behind stands of long white blonde hair she moans quietly, "Chris."

Christina feels her skin prickle with anticipation. Her hands moved to rest on the bend of Ruby's thighs and the swell of her bottom. As she stands up Ruby's feet are dangling centimeters from the floor. A huf falls into her ears and Christina squeezes at the denim covered flesh. This woman really was afraid she would drop her in this form but had no issues when they shared a certain bloody potion. She hadn't planned on moving their bodies far. Gripping harder Christina mules against Ruby's jaw, "I'm not gonna drop you." 

Reluctantly she feels Ruby wrap a leg around her waist as she moves their position to the back of the door frame. Pressing her weight into Ruby as the woman holds her closely. Christina is panting while her lips trace over Ruby's open cleavage. Covered hips careening cautiously into the space between them. Ruby clenches her thighs evaporating the distance. She hears the woman against her moan and mumble dropping one hand to grip the old iron towel rack on the back of the door. Ruby clenches tighter afraid of falling on her ass but also feeling eager for more friction. She pulls Christina's lips from the top of her bra that is barely holding things together. Lips that capture hers ragged and starved. 

Christina shifts her weight so that one knee rests on the wall for support. It also has Ruby gasp out a series of cuss words with the motion of her hips. Christina watches the desire fill Ruby's brown eyes, she wants to let this woman ruin her in every way possible. She could even kill for this woman, take out one of the many assortment of tools in the house and end someone's life should Ruby ask her too. She had died and come back within inches of her mortality in front of this woman. Multiple times for and behind the back of this woman, even though this woman may never fully accept that truth in her life. But, she could love every inch of this woman regardless.

Ruby hears a faint laugh and voice through the door and pulls away reluctant from the heat she could throw herself into. Let the flames of her lovers eyes burn her up in this small closet sized bathroom. The voice is not from the TV or the little boy who is supposed to be watching it. Christina is oblivious and Ruby has to strong arm the woman off of her. The blue sad eyes roll as her body is lowered back to earth. Christina whispers," We always get interrupted, don't we." 

Ruby quickly buttons the front of her top, only adjusting her curls slightly, and opens the bathroom door. She glances at the front door barely cracked open and nods to Christina who re-adjusts her own clothes. They both make their way out of the bathroom and Ruby hears a familiar click of some kind of firearm being pulled from the hallway closet. Ruby quickly pads into the living room arms crossed and back straight. Whoever the fuck had made their way into her home better have a damn good reason to not get their head blown clean off. Ruby looks for George before she sees the intruder. George sits away from the man holding their Rottweiler affectionately named Shoggo's alert head in his lap. 

"Who the fuck are you," Ruby says loudly causing the man to turn his head at her. His sneer disgusts her even though his face is familiar, but a strong knowing hand rests on her shoulder. The barrel of a shot gun rests on the floor next to her. 

Christina stands up straighter, slipping her hand away from Ruby. She looks down at the man as she speaks the language of Adam, "Hello Titus."


	2. Professor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Key points before you read this, whpk doesn't look like this. I've never been to u chicago. It was my reach school but I did work in college radio and live near some college stations that have beaucoup funding. So I combined things a bit. 
> 
> Also feel free to skip the smut if you aren't trying to read that. Took a few years of writing fics but I finally know how to write that topic...kind of.

Ruby moves protectively next to George and the dog who sits at her feet.

"Hello Ruby," Titus says and Ruby sees the disdain in his eyes. Smug, racist, piece of shit. She rolls her eyes at his fake politeness and gives Christina a look. The look of can you do something please, maybe with the gun in your very hands.

Titus turns to his great- great- great- great- great granddaughter and looks her up and down. He raises a brow, "Is there somewhere we can talk...privately."

Christina motions towards the hallway and waits for him to pass her. "Basement door, it's unlocked," she says resting the gun against the wall gingerly. The door clicks open and closes. Christina turns back to Ruby and George, she eyes their dog who straightens up on all fours at her change in demeanor. "Maybe Shoggo wants to go on a walk." A high pitched bark and bowing of a brown snout follow.

"I am not...", Ruby raises her voice and remembers the little boy still afraid at her feet. She sees Christina's hand motioning to the boy in front of her but her expression is like steel. 

"George can you take Shoggo and put your shoes on upstairs," Christina interjects looking down at the little boy petting tan and black fur. He meets her icy gaze with warmth and nods pulling the dog lightly by his collar.

Ruby watches the boy ascend the staircase slowly with the dog behind him. He won't fall, he's good with stairs, but bad at eavesdropping without spilling other people's secrets. One reason she did not want him to see her and Christina being anything more than friendly. She watches Christina's hand falls as the last stair creaks but she says loudly, "George." They both hear small feet scuttle away from the banister.

Ruby watches Christina's hand fall and scoffs, "Oh so now you are telling me when I can and can't speak."

Christina dips her head but speaks, "No I would never do that but we don't want impressionable little boys getting the wrong idea about what I do and do not, now."

Ruby swallows the urge to choke the woman in front of her and instead she moves closer. " I am not leaving you here with that magical crazy asshole Chris. He can kill you, you can't trust him."

"He can but he won't. Titus only shows up for anyone when he wants something. Which is why I want you to take Shoggo for a walk," Christina widens her gaze.

"George," Ruby whispers. Christina just nods in response, her eyes taking in Ruby's lips as they move. "Fine, a walk, but I'm giving you 15 minutes and then...." 

Christina looks up from Ruby's lips with a look on her face. If "i'm listening but I don't care about anything past this point" was an expression then she is wearing it. She nods as Ruby continues to grill her about protecting herself and to call her if anything should happen.

"I'll text you in 15 minutes, if I don't go to Hippolyta's or your sisters." Christina says looking down and closing the boundaries of personal space. Ruby turns her face for the kiss to land on her cheek. She pushes past Christina as George comes back down the stairs. She grabs a leash from the coat rack and listens to Christina walk down the foyer.

"Bye Christina," George yells to the woman facing the opposite direction.

"Bye George," Christina says with a cadence to her voice that Ruby thinks sounds like excitement.

*****

George smiles up at his aunt as she tucks him in. He's been asking her all these questions that she won't answer. Questions she can't answer and tells him to wait to ask his parents when they get home. Ruby finishes reading the book in her hand hearing him yawn. Once Titus and Christina retreated to the basement, Ruby ran to call her sister and brother in law.

Leti was popping off on the other end of the call. Ready to end her romantic getaway early, but Ruby settled her down. Ensured she actually would watch over Tic's little piece of faith. Tic wanted to know why the hell Titus even showed up and Ruby had no answers. Before hanging up Tic asked her to put a protection spell over his son until they got home. Ruby draws a symbol on the little boy's arm as she hums to get him to drift off to sleep.

Bits of Adam falling out quietly in the little protection lullaby. When she finishes George's eyes are low he rolls over yawning out, "night aunt ruby, night tina."

Ruby looks towards the door, her expression of care falling at the woman silently staring down at her. Christina's expression is tired and offended. "Goodnight George," Christina says, watching Ruby kiss the boy's head before leaving the room. Door pulled shut. 

Ruby walks past her, "It's not personal Christina."

Christina follows her girlfriend into their room where she sits on the bed starting to undress. Titus came over but he didn't stay after their conversation. Went back to wherever the hell he was cooped up in the city. But, he was coming back before disappearing again. She just had no clue how to tell Ruby he offered her to go with him, and she was considering it.

"It's not for you, it's for you know who. His mom asked me just as a precaution," Ruby says sitting next to Christina who is shedding the day physically. 

"But, it could be," Christina shakes her head standing up and tossing a wadded up shirt into the open clothes bin. She reminisces on the day Tic and she saw their past lives. It was a spell she'd never used before and he was skittish, but it required both of their blood. Both spilled and recited on a harvest moon in a place of power. 

Ardham, it was the place their blood lines crossed. It was the place her father died unceremoniously, which she still thought was too good for him. He died and was remembered in a way that didn't reflect at all who he was. The house was mostly untouched, the parts untouched by a small fire, and a groundskeeper was hired to deter thieves. But she avoided the place most days even before he died. 

The spell physically took a lot out of both her and Tic. Both of their bodies collapsed on the dusty candle lit carpet gasping for air. Senses overfilled with images, smells, and tastes over and over until a scream broke them out of the reanimation of their pasts. Tic kept checking his wrist and distancing himself from her. Pacing around the room like a caged rat in a lab. Christina ran to the nearest mirror checking her throat and her body for scars. The only mark on her was the one she branded herself with.

"Atticus! Atticus!," Christina tries to get the dazed man to stop running around looking for an escape. "Are you okay?"

"You fucking killed me. How the fuck do you think I'm feeling," Atticus yells out.

Christina sat on the floor in the middle of their now broken circle looking out the window. She saw what he saw and more. Saw his blood on her hands and Leti's body pushed from her hands. She laughs and cries from somewhere in her brain that is trying to put things together. Christina feels the shock wave over her as she can feel Ruby's skin cold under her touch. Warm and the almost frozen, her past self to blame for that as well.

Tic eventually stopped pacing, she stopped shaking, and they raided the house for anything that feels valuable. Entire libraries of magic emptied into Tic's hatchback. Jewelry and more they would split the profits of. She tried joking that he could finally buy Leti a real ring. It was too soon and he threw back an insult that doubled as a threat. She just rolls her eyes, skinny nerdy Atticus now flexing his muscles. Ruby filled her in on what he was like as a kid. 

Ruby. Christina grabbed pictures and photos of her childhood to show Ruby. Maybe the woman wouldn't think of her as a monster after she told her about this past life regression, with evidence that she wasn't one. That Christina she saw was still a lot like her, cold and reclusive. Trying to gain self worth in knowledge. Whatever power that christina had felt strong but a distant nightmare. A nightmare they pour gasoline over and let flames consume the building. 

When they got home both of the women they each loved respectively were waiting anxious. Christina dragged her body to a bathroom. Looking in the mirror spun her stomach in knots. The toilet bowl being filled as her body rejected whatever it saw. She could hear Atticus filling the sisters in on their successful traumatic spell. He told them their past and Christina held onto the sink before walking into the living room as though nothing changed. She kept the act even after Leti and Atticus left with the aforementioned cutting daggers at her as the sun rose into the sky. 

The act that stayed with her as she quickly showered while Ruby drew their room into darkness. The black out curtains in their room let loose as Ruby sprayed the room with some aroma that the singer said she came up with. A simple yet effective potion for calmness. She held it together until they were in bed together in silence. Ruby's eyes were concerned staring at her profile. She didn't have to look to see. Hands moving to touch her that she winced and flinched away from.

"I think I killed you before," Christina remembers telling Ruby. Ruby tries to remind her where parts of Christina start and parts of her past begin. But, it still festers into a sore of longing for power and a bond that is not in this life of the pasts.

That night shifted the weight of their entire family dynamic, she started researching magic alone and so did Tic. Instead of sharing or him asking questions they faced it alone. Her mark on her for her own protection started to fade slowly from that night on. Now it's barely an outline of a rams head cupping her sternum and ribs.

That night many many many moons ago sometimes creeps into conversations. Conversations about Christinas fear of losing magic or like the one they are having now where family is at the center of it. Conversations where family is almost a curse word. Ruby, trying to convince her lover that family is what you make it, not the power you have over them.

Christina wants to break her silence letting Ruby go on and on about family and love. She's been searching for family since her mother died and was alone until she met Tic. Alone, learning magic from a man she loved who was murdered by the same men who loved her father. Put her father on pedestal after pedestal even after death but gave no care about her. So much so they ignored just how much knowledge she'd obtained. Then she met Tic who is now that same person is asking for protection spells through her girlfriend under her fucking house. She's not stupid, Leti already has her son covered in protection spells and casts but never around Ruby. It's almost like she trusts her as long as Ruby is around, which doesn't bother her. But, it does bother her that Atticus doesn't trust either of them.

"Family, that's fucking rich from a guy who doesn't know if his father is his father or his uncle, a widow, a woman who uses her sister like a surrogate mother giving nothing in return, and a woman with a dead mom and 9 fucking tails. At least Titus actually wants me around, can't say that for the rest of you. He can give me something no one else ever could, he can make me just as strong as I was before I ever taught any of you anything. Apparently I was pretty fucking powerful before, and he's not afraid of it." Christina hurls the words at Ruby while slipping her pants off and tossing them in the basket.

Ruby watches Christina go from cool and collected to arrogant. Listens to her frustration and the way she says you. "You" like it's not even coming from the person she's laid in bed with for years now. "You" like they are strangers but it also sounds forced. Forced like it's being puppeteered from someone or something else. Titus, Ruby thinks, nodding or maybe a past life. It sounds a lot like when she was told of a past life and heard, "You betrayed me." This is Christina backed into a corner with only her ego to keep her standing, because she cannot bear to take responsibility for her failure. Ruby's partner's weakest link cocooned with her arrogance.

Ruby grits her jaw in between phrases, "Keep Letitia out of your damned mouth and so that's what he offered you, power. But, in exchange for what Christina?"

Christina stands taller and says without blinking to, "He wants pieces of me and Atticus." 

"To bind all of our powers." Ruby finishes the statement and it was easy to sort out. The book of names and Christina's notes both spoke of binding spells and potions. Titus wanted even more power than he had, but in order to gain more he needed the flesh of his heirs to get it. To converge all magic at least within a few state lines into his one being. One spell called for a piece of physical flesh from a son and blood from a daughter. Christina's yellow sticky notes labeled it The Fruit of Adam and Eve. If she is remembering correctly it is enough blood to kill someone and that person looks a whole lot like Christina.

"Temporarily," Christina quips.

"That's suicide Christina," Ruby says shaking her head no. From the recalling of the night in Ardham she's lost her before. Lost her to her insane selfish desires. Ruby had seen William be kicked to all shit trying to fight a group of asshole paparazzi for leering at her while she walked into a store. Seen, Christina gets weaker and weaker at every new spell, every new trial for more. Her girlfriend wanted more knowledge than she would know what to do with. Titus was offering her that, but at the cost of her life. Hell no.

"I have a resurrection spell," Christina says in a self-assured tone. 

"We don't even know if it works Chris...then what happens," Ruby holds her arms to herself. She watches the woman leaning against their ensuite door frame slowly come down from her power trip. Ruby has figured out ways to sober Christina down, whenever she is on one of her rants. The truth does that because Christina is a sucker for the truth, and the truth is she doesn't know if it will work. Then she hears the woman whisper out the words of Adam quickly.

Christina gasps and clutches herself leaning against the door. It's a heat that burns through her skin from the inside out. It feels like she's being carved open with a soldering iron. So she clings to the wooden frame until it passes. Ruby doesn't run to help or balance her lover out when the woman lurches forward gripping her stomach. She tenses but she doesn't move. Christina had pushed too many buttons. Once Christina is able to stand she removes her hands. 

Ruby raises a brow, the mark of Cain under Christina's chest is cooling from bright red to a fresh scar. Christina paces to the mirror in the bathroom and traces the mark. It's back. Whatever happened in that basement lit a fire in Christina because that spell hasn't worked that well in a long time.

Ruby follows Christina into the bathroom and watches Chris examine herself. In watching she's made her way behind the woman as fingers trace every ridge. Trace the edges like she is rediscovering a part of her body. It makes Ruby sad as much as it turns her pilot light up. Sad, because how dare Christina feel so unloved that she runs to the first person who is not her, to get a piece of herself. Latching onto a piece of family that never taught her what true family was. Ruby thought she had most of the pieces put together into a puzzle that looked like her girlfriend but she guesses not. Ruby slips her hands around her partners waist and traces the scar she already knew so well. It's no longer faint lines in skin, it's raised and fragile, raw and fresh. 

Her lips lean against the back of Christina's neck, "Please don't leave me." 

Christina feels her eyes heavy as the words are said again next to her ear.

"I just got home, please don't leave me."

She stares in the mirror as red painted nails drag across her skin and down her front but back up yet again. They circle under her bra and press into her mark making her pupils dilate. She inches her own hand behind her to unclasp the hooks of her bra. Christina feels Ruby's lips against her shoulder as straps are pushed down both arms.

"Don't leave me," Ruby sighs into her lover's skin. 

Goosebumps raise the hair on Christina's neck. Midnight quickies were nothing compared to making love when they both craved nothing more than to be full of each other. Damn Atticus and Leti for deciding to have a trip just as soon as Ruby got home. It meant she couldn't hear the full range of Ruby's voice through their room.

Ruby leans into her girlfriends stretched hand as it falls from the discarded bra to her waist. It then rests on the side of her thigh cupping the fabric of her jeans. Christina shudders as Ruby pulls her hardened skin in her hands and turns to look at her. Ruby gives her the room to do so and they just stare at each other. Christina teeming in the way Ruby looks flirty and intense. Intention pops in her head. Ruby leans in halfway and waits for Christina to meet her which she does earnestly. One pale hand hooked along her jaw the other unbuttoning the front of her jeans.

Ruby sighs into Christina's kisses slow but feverish. Their noses touching as they pull back for a second, trying not to chase the others lips. Ruby settles her thoughts into what she wants as they kiss. The list is short it has to be for this to work. She deepens the kiss, keeping Christina busy. A successful record release. Christina becomes restive with her need to breath, she pushes Ruby's top up and over her head. Forcing them apart. It falls to the floor as the taller woman drags teeth across her neck. 

Ruby envisions the words the safety of her family which included Hipp, Dee, and Christina. She whimpers as Christina makes quick of getting the rest of her exposed. Lips sucking, teeth nibbling, and more as the blonde slides down to her knees. Ruby knows the floor is freezing but Christina looks up at her fingers pulling at her waistband. Pupils blown and hair almost untouched. Digits hooked into not just denim but lace too. Ruby helps her out as her lover gets glassy eyed against her legs. More and more skin is exposed and they both breathe ragged. Last wish Ruby, her conscience reminding her of what she was supposed to be doing. Her breath hitches as Chris kisses her legs from the ankle up. It's messing with her train of thought but she sighs into Christina's kisses. Her legs widen and she entwines her fingers into blonde hair. Blue eyes look at her and she feels Christina speak from in between her legs. 

"I think the word you are looking for is, security," Christina huffs out sinking teeth into flesh as she pushes Ruby's legs wider. Her brain goes numb at the sight in front of her. She focuses on kissing and nipping to her desired location.

Ruby mumbles smart ass while running her fingers to the base of her girlfriends hair. The word was discernment not security. She felt secure with or without Christina around, but the woman did make her feel safe when not on her bad side. Ruby wishes for discernment not only for Christina but for herself she's torn between her own dreams and keeping her life in this mansion. The industry wants her to choose but she never was one for rules anyway. 

She thinks over the three points again she grips the edge of the tub they are next to. Her bottom lip is pulled in between her teeth until she feels her girlfriend finally move to devour her. Ruby tips her head back keeping her vocals to minimum. 

"Ruby...I ," Christina groans into the woman she's been missing for weeks. It was hard to forget the way Ruby felt, sounded, and tasted but experiencing it was entirely different than imagining it. One arm wraps around her lover's hip, the other holding her wide open. "Fuck."

Ruby whimpers the minimal dirty talk Christina can get out. The weeks of tension and teasing were clearly not dealt with when William was under her on the stairwell. Location. her hands grip the edge of the clawfoot tub as a gasp escaped her lips. She is chasing the feeling that Christina is sending through her as the tension becomes more and more wound. She's so close, her lips start to move quickly reciting incantations out loud. Ruby feels Christina tighter her grip as she completely divulges herself in her lover. 

Blunt nails break skin and Christina makes a noise that's pure guttural pleasure to Ruby's ears. Begging, it almost makes her fall apart there but she has a goal. Ruby keeps chanting out her spell over and over until her thighs shake. One hand lets go of the tub and clings to Christina's shoulders. Her head back she sees the symbol forming above the tub and pants out the words once more as it glows white until it's etched into the ceiling.

"Chri...dadd...fuck...will...stinadon't," Ruby moans quietly to her lover. Christina feels Ruby's fingers tighten in her hair and then release as her thighs go rigid. Christina pulls back resting her forehead lazily on Ruby's leg. Her arms still clinging to Ruby as the woman above her caught her breath. In the reflection she could see in the mirror they resembled a painting like Ruben's Samson and Delilah*. She licks her lips, Ruby willing magic while they made love tasted divine.

A shared bath and a few climaxes later they lay in bed drifting to sleep. The silk of their sheets settling around their body frames. Ruby's face tucked into Christina's neck whispering tomorrow's plans. "Oh, and Chris."

"Hmm," Christina hums feeling weightless and bound at the same time. 

"Tic wanted you to take George with you on campus tomorrow," Ruby shushes into blonde hair turning her back to the woman who settles behind her.

"Okay," Christina yawns because her energy to protest is low. She would just have to find another time to contact Titus.

*****

_"Life could be a dream (sh-boom)_

_If only all my precious plans would come true..."_

Ruby grimaces and switches to the next station.

_"Call me on my cell phone_

_Late night when you need my love_

_I know when that hotline bling"_

Christina mumbles, hell no, just before Ruby changes the station again.

_"Wanted._

_Someone who kissed me,_

_And held me closely_

_Then stole my heart."_

Ruby is surprised that this is on the radio and drops her hand. Christina glances over at the way Ruby bobs her head. She sits her right arm on the center console, fingers tapping with the tune. Ruby glides her hand under those fingers, letting the syllables of the word wanted be tapped along the back of her hand.

_"Wanted._

_Someone I trusted._

_Who gave no warning,_

_We'd ever part."_

George plays with his legos in his seat listening to the music coming from the radio. It's something old that reminds him of sounds he usually hears at his grandfather's house. He can hear his Aunt and Christina talking but he tunes them out looking at the window at the trees and rotating the head of his mini figures.

Ruby glances back at George through the visor mirror. He is well occupied making his toys come to life in his mind. She checks her lipstick and hair once more before settling back into her seat. The Bentley is moving at a safe pace for once as it drives past tree lined streets and towards a faculty parking lot. 

"Can you walk me to the radio station," Ruby asks while Christina scans her i.d at the gate.

Christina waves at the gate attendant but says over her shoulder, "Sure but I need to stop by my office." 

Ruby shook her head and turned to talk to her nephew, "So George," he looks up from his toys, "we are going to Christina's office and then you guys are going to drop me off so I can do my interview and go to work."

George looks to Christina asking, "Then where am I going to go?" 

"Remember you are going to classes with Christina today," he nods remembering their conversation at breakfast, "So I need you to be on your best behavior George or else I'm calling Montrose and you are spending the day with him."

George rolls his eyes, hanging out with his grandfather was fun until the old man wanted to show him baseball cards. That's when he checked out trying to get the old man to take him to the movies or over to his friend Sammy's. Sammy had all types of movies and stories, but his grandfather kept going on about baseball.

On the way to the office that sits in the history department, Ruby watches as Christina smiles at other people in the building. It's a fake smirk of friendliness to pretend she is just like them. Just another professor trying to educate the minds of tomorrow or whatever other corny phrase people use in academics. Christina tends not to mix the two realms of her life that often so Ruby doesn't get to see this side of her partner. The closest she gets is seeing Christina grading papers late at night, reading emails from students, or taking notes for a lesson. On campus Professor Braithwhite is a rarity but it's nice to see. 

The lanyard with a headshot worthy photo sticking out of her dress pocket. The pen necklace shifting against the front of the cape-like dress she wore. Ruby has to avert her eyes because when she meets Christina it's a little too obvious. Too obvious that they are engaging in a dangerous game of eye sex in public. She glances back at the woman who has a cocky grin on her lips.

"Hello Professor Braithwhite," a tall lanky man greets Christina as she enters the shared faculty-student lounge.

"Professor Wilkins," Christina nods but her eyes shift to George running between them.

"George stops running inside," Ruby stops the boy in his tracks. 

"This is my friend Ruby, and her nephew George. He is shadowing me today," Christina says to the man stirring his coffee eyeing the woman and child next to her. 

"Oh a young scholar in the making, I see." He gives Ruby a smile that says hello and meets George at eye level. "Hello."

Christina pulls her mail from the box attached to the door and unlocks her office door. When the door is open she holds a hand up as a goodbye to Wilkins and invites Ruby and George inside. While Ruby helps settle the small child Christina makes busy setting up for the day not wanting to make Ruby late. It is a decent sized office for a new professor, but moderate for an interim board member. It's a halfway point like most things in Christina's life. The bookshelves are lined with historical nonfiction, a sprinkling of theology and religion, and "knick knacks". The clutter were sigils and potions disguised as oddities. A human skull holding a security symbol, a candle display holding vials of restoration, things of that sort.

Ruby looks around standing in her pair of red chinos and a striped v neck sweater. It was like a minimal version of their basement at home. She had at least 45 minutes before needing to be in the station and she knew Christina had a class at 12. She knew her schedule from juggling phone calls and time zones. The sounds of a Mac booting up buzz as Christina moves papers around. Ruby watches her hands open letters, follow words, and organize sticky notes. 

George is sitting in an upholstered chair, eyes glued to a show on a tablet. Ruby moves around the half of the office not occupied by a desk and a woman who is too busy to bother. She can hear Christina asking George if he wants coloring pages and of what, but she gives them room to bond. Ruby wasn't going to make up George's mind about how he felt towards his distant cousin unlike her younger sister. One thing Ruby notices is a lack of human warmth to the office. It's dripping in mysticism and refinement but the homely essence is bare. There are no photos of Christina, the campus, or of family. Just framed diplomas with Latin script and Braithwhite in calligraphy on each.

The printer is churning out pages when Ruby turns around. Christina is multitasking on the iMac while slipping a laptop into a leather case. The one hand-made one Hippolyta have Christina over the holidays. That woman was always traveling and returning with more skills and knowledge. It was encouraging to them all because Hipp taught them that growing doesn't stop even after great loss.

George is waiting at the edge of Christina's desk patiently as the blonde once overs her screen one last time. "To the radio station then," Christina asks, shouldering the bag.

Christina walks next to Ruby, a healthy distance apart, as the three of them make their way to the campus radio. The university didn't allow commercial organizations on campus so they were somewhat shielded from luring outside eyes. But, it was the place Christina worked at and where here colleagues roamed. George skipping ahead of them care-free with his backpack bouncing behind him. 

It was almost like as soon as the walk began it was over. Their game of flirtatious glances and hands that collided when they veered closer would have to end as they made their way inside of a building. Through old doors with radio codes and advertisements for small local bands and house shows taped to the exterior. The walls of the actual station were a polished wine red with concert photos tacked to the walls or framed. Signed autographs on a wall of guests in layers of sharpies, and the sounds of music playing over speakers. Workers crossed the dated carpet into an office. One spots Ruby and collides with a wall before gathering herself and closing the office door behind her.

"Some of them are students, god they are going to grill me later," Christina murmurs holding a thermos to her lips.

Ruby chuckles sliding her hands in her pants. She jokes, "Ooo Professor Braithwhite knows a local singer."

Christina gives Ruby a side eye. She sure was local but she was no regular singer. Ruby had a bifold in Rolling Stone and over 2 million monthly streamers on spotify. People who knew about Ruby Baptiste knew about Ruby Baptiste. Her girlfriend was an above average level of famous now that got them stopped at coffee shops. But nowhere near free seats on Broadway, that's where Christina flexed her privileges more.

Ruby sees people from her team out front of the radios recording offices and exhales. Sgee slows their speed, soaking in the past however minutes she had with Christina as they wind down. They'd both kept eyes on the boy with so many questions, but had their own conversation as they walked. It was refreshing just walking with her lover and her nephew. Ruby thought it was funny how Christina kept attempting to bury the spectacle that was her eyes. 

"Come on Auntie I see Tree," George hurries his Aunt before running towards a man leaned against the doors to the studio. 

Christina checks the watch on her wrist and then slows to a stop. An earshot away, but still within sight.

"My office hours start at 1 if you want to come by before the rest of your day," Christina hums giving Ruby a smile. 

Ruby nods, "Lunch Professor Braithwhite?" The agreement is nonverbal because Christina is biting her tongue. Ruby hugs George and instead of waving Christina goodbye she leans in for a hug. A friendly one to outsiders but one she whispers, "try not to stare" in Christina's ear. 

Christina does it anyway while ushering the little boy towards the exit.

*****

Both of her lessons go well, students cooing over George, a bountiful conversation, and plenty of questions on topic. It's much more relaxed of a setting than her afternoon lecture hall. But, in the second course not even 15 minutes into her lecture on the construction of the European Union she notices attention spans feigning. She glances at George, his head bobbing side to side with a crayon in hand. 

Some students in the back of the class are on their phones and more screens begin to peek out of pockets. Christina puts down her slideshow clicker and rests on the podium. It takes a few seconds before students who were still engaged start giving her odd looks.

"Um Dr. Braithwhite is everything okay," one student questions. 

Christina straightens her posture clicking the pen hanging from her neck, "Just wondering why at least 80 percent of this class is no longer abiding the no phone policy."

Students shift and cough to cover that they had been caught red handed. One student raises her hand and Christina points to her. The girl blushes and Christina gives her the floor to speak,"I'm sorry I'm music major and Ruby Baptiste as in the Ruby is singing on whpk. It's extra credit for some of our classes."

Double majors Christina thinks and fails to hide her eye roll. She hears someone whisper what a bitch but it doesn't bother her. Sometimes she appreciates the contempt, it means she's still staying true to herself even if it's not welcomed. The eye roll was less at their educational pursuits and more at other professors habits interrupting her students attention. 

"Uh not a fan," someone from the back asks.

Christina cuts her eyes at George before words even slip out. His jaw is already slack with the amount of disappointment on his face. Christina looks back at her lesson and the time, she scratches her hair line before collapsing her PowerPoint and pulling up a browser. "I guess I can accommodate history into a real world example," she goes to the station's website and hovers over the live feed, "The slides will be up on the portal for you to review, your essays are still due on Thursday. The rest of class we will connect how music reflects the era it lives in." 

She hears excited responses and some annoyed, but she hits play and moves to the lights to switch them off. The feed starts to play and Christina takes an empty desk next to George who is staring at the projection waiting to hear his aunt's voice.

"A couple months ago, you tweeted, "I am sick of being interrupted by the world." Can you explain that a little?" The DJ asks. 

Ruby smiles, "Sure, um, being a woman in this industry is hard, being black in this world is hard. So being both, as a black woman in this world and industry is difficult. Before anyone crucifies me on black Twitter, I love being a black woman. Never wanted to be a white woman, no, but I do wonder how my life could have gone with more unmitigated freedom."

The DJ nods, "I don't want to pry, but what spurred you to tweet that."

"If you didn't want to pry, you wouldn't have asked," Ruby says pointedly and Christina lets herself grin fully. Her lover had a whole lot of attitude and didn't hide it for anyone.

"Right right," the DJ awkwardly laughs off, "come on, it's the last question before we hear you sing in the studio. I've gotta pry a little."

Ruby smiles adjusting in her seat, "Getting to see how the world works in the proximity of powerful white women is an experience, but it made me ask who was i really uninterrupted." Christina mutters the last words of Ruby's phrase, her words on Ruby's lips. She knew most people would think Ruby meant singing background or writing for talented but bland white women. But, what Ruby really meant was drinking vials of a bloody concoction before weekend outings to change her form. Also, she got to watch as Christina got window after window slammed in her face with a door wide open so to speak.

Christina glances at her class who is transfixed by the woman speaking and now shifting to a small live set-up. She checks her watch, class would be ending soon after this song and so would Ruby's spotlight. "Now live on WHPK to sing her lead single off her new album coming this friday, Ruby!" The beat starts up to a song Christina has heard demoed months before in their bedroom. She smiles as George wriggles and sings along to the song in his chair.

*****

"Ruby," the T.A gasps almost dropping his Starbucks.

"Auntie," George runs to his aunt who walks into the lounge.

Ruby leans down to talk to George who eagerly tells her about his day so far. He's dragging her to a couch and she listens to his expressive memory. Christina texted her that she had her lunch but was finishing up a meeting with several students. Her teaching assistant was watching after George which he did not mind, it seemed. The door of Christina's office opens and Ruby follows the laughter coming from it. 

A group of people file out of the room thanking Christina while folding notebooks or putting bookbags on. Ruby senses the the gay from them all but keeps her reaction to herself. She stares at the source of laughter confused. Was her Christina laughing, really, her Christina? Two students linger and Ruby watches one girl flirt openly with the woman sitting behind the desk. Christina catches her eyes and gives her a side smirk. Ruby looks the girls up and down quickly before turning back to her nephew that is still rambling on. 

Ruby feels the stares of some of the students who are loitering in the common area. 

"Thankyou Liberty and Adrian, for your compliments and I look forward to the same enthusiasm towards my thesis as your papers," Christina says and Ruby feels her hand meet the couch. "Hello, Ms Baptiste, it's a pleasure to have you on campus," Christina fakes the teacher's voice and everything. Seth looks afraid, George gives his cousin a scrunched face, and Ruby lets out a laugh before apologizing.

"You're uh um uh Ruby," the shorter girl stutters and Ruby gives her a friendly bit of fake smile. They exchange words and Ruby signs the girls sheet notes before they run off. When they leave Christina asks Seth to watch George for a little longer moving back into her office with Ruby behind her. Seth reassures Ruby it's fine and tells her he's 1 of 8 and the oldest, so he is more than equipped. Ruby closes the door at Christina's request and sits across from her partners desk.

Ruby watches Christina's hands type after sliding a packaged meal across the wooden block. She pops it open and starts to eat, not bad she thinks for a campus meal. "Good meeting Dr. Braithwhite," she says in between bites.

"Yea something like that," Christina looks over at her and wets her lips," Doctor ?"

Ruby moves something with her fork, "Professor then ,"Ruby hums and takes another bite, " Your students have been calling you doctor and professor all day. Especially those two, I thought it was custom." 

Christina sees the look on Ruby's face and leans onto the papers on her desk before she speaks, "It's polite for them, it doesn't mean anything else." Leaning back she continues going through a paper with a pencil in hand. She hears Ruby shifting and looks back up, Ruby is flitting her eyes. Fuck, really.

"You know they have a crush on you right," Ruby says with a mouthful.

"I've gathered as much, but Ruby I would never," Christina shakes her head. Ruby watches the woman's features go soft with concern but sees how Christina plays with her wrist watch. She closes the plastic container and drinks from her bottle of water. The container is sat on Christina's desk and Ruby stands up gathering her things in her bag. Christina drops her pencil and stands to circle the desk, her hand extending to Ruby's wrist. Not clutching it but stopping its movement.

"Ruby, I'd never."

Ruby turns to look at Christina's doe eyed expression and slight crinkle in her brow, "I know," Ruby watches the tension slip as she cuts her eyes flirtatiously.

"Oh," Christina whispers, taking a second to lean in halfway. Ruby looks at Christina's eyes and her heart beats a little slower. Those eyes are unguarded, she glances down at her lovers lips and meets her at the halfway point. Christina's hand cupping the base of her head as she deepens their kiss.

Christina mules when Ruby pulls back, biting her lip, she glances at the clock on the wall. Leaning back up her nose brushes her girlfriends whose forehead rests against hers. 

"Dr. Braithwhite," Ruby says lowly keeping her eyes open to stare at the woman whose eyes are still shut.

Christina opens her eyes and murmurs, "hmm..."

Ruby swallows looking into those piercing blue eyes that constantly teeter bedroom worth. "I have to go," Ruby sighs, "I can take George to Hippolyta's for the rest of the day....the night."

Christina pulls her girlfriend's face closer and connects their lips once more. She feels Ruby shudder and a hand gripping her back is holding her against Ruby. When they separate there is gasp for air from them both.

"I'd like that," Christina says, checking the corners of her lover's lipstick having pulled back completely from the woman and letting her own hands fall. Ruby once overs her bag and her reflection in a small compact. Christina moves for the door and looks back and Ruby, "I....."

"I know, now stop looking at me like that or I'll never leave." Ruby says grinning and the doorknob is turned.

Hours later Christina is packing her bag to leave campus. One of George's coloring pages is taped to a previously bare wall and she has everything she needs. She bids adieu to another Professor who had a night lecture as well and makes her way out the building. It's quiet on campus at this time of night and usually she would sit a while, but the woman she has at home implied for her not to dilly dally.

Getting to the Bentley she feels his presence before she sees him. Christina slows her pace but enters the vehicle as if nothing has changed. She starts the battery but doesn't turn over the engine, waiting. Eventually the passenger door opens and Titus climbs inside."I guess we should work out the details of our arrangement." Christina cuts to the point.

When she gets home after exaggerating traffic via text she takes the steps in stride to their bedroom. The sound of music is playing through the door. When she opens the door, she finds Ruby scantily clad on the bed, "Hello Ms. Baptiste." Christina sets her bag down and pulls her heels off. She preens over to the bed leaving the bedroom door wide open. 

Ruby reaches out pulling the patterned dress by the waist lightly to her, "Hello Professor Braithwhite.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Wanted by Perry Cuomo.  
> *  
> Next chapter will be shorter, I am seriously going to try to not write so much, I promise. After a talk with a fellow LCC fan and friend part of me felt eh about continuing this story. They gave perspective past the chemistry wunmi and abby gave on screen. Which brava to them both, So I am on the fence but still going to finish. I'm not gon lie tho, the way this fandom been acting i'm about to write more out of spite lmao.


	3. paper cut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I almost ended this here and then realized I missed one of my outline points and it was not fitting into this at all. So another part *high fives myself* is coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made a playlist of songs that help me write and Ruby’s theoretical album, would anyone want that? If you would like to listen to the songs as Ruby “sings” them along in the story, here they are in order of appearance. 1. Green Papaya by Lianne La Havas 2. Is a mashup of lyrics from three songs; Blue by Hope Tala, Green Eyes by Arlo Parks, & Georgia by Brittany Howard. 3. Sideways by Cleo Sol.

Ruby makes a face at the burn of straight gin, as it makes its way down. Her phone is propped up on a book as her Instagram live comments rapidly scroll by themselves. She laughs at some of the reactions to her off guard moment. Alcohol to chase the overwhelming nerves that run through her body, the album was releasing tonight. The nerves in her body are just buzzing. This album has been a big anticipation for her small group of supporters, the label, and herself. Months of touring, writing, and singing all boiled into a handful of songs and words. Words that had come from a place she usually reserved for stage presence.

"Okay I will sing a snippet and I mean less than 30 secs of any one song from the new album. Is that okay Todd ?" She asks her manager, who is watching her live from LA. The band and her team are drinking in the backyard waiting for celebration. They played a few old fan favorites and singles from the new album. She wanted to finish the live jam session more intimately. Just her, the guitar, and her supporters together. A celebration was also the last thing she really wanted.

A text pops up,  **sure 👍 they'll crucify me if I say no 🙄.**

Names from the track list start flooding the chat and Ruby says, “Woah slow down.” Everyone is so eager including a few musicians adding input in the chat. Her eyes narrow in on one comment that starts repeating. "Y'all really love the single, huh. My favorite track? From the album or just right now. I mean I guess," Ruby hears the basement door opening and closing. Heavy footsteps coming her way to the makeshift studio space her team set up in the living room. 

It was the first time most of her team had seen the inside of the house. Her hair and makeup team tried to figure how Ruby scored such a nice place. She tells them the old "my roommate inherited this place and needed help with upkeep." Threw in that Christina was a busy professor with little time to take care of the house. They seemed suspicious but those suspicions were forgotten when Christina stepped through the door, carrying a box of things. Ruby pretended not to see it held pieces of Christina's office along with mountains of paperwork.

She's watched Christina double down on grading as midterms got closer and closer but nothing like this. This was calculated but rushed. Christina was never rushing and it was one reason Ruby loved her. The youngest Braithwhite (by namesake not blood) took her time with things. Planning out every step and mis-step. Took time when her hands were scrubbing at Ruby's neck and down her spine. Almost perfectly composed to be time effective lectures, were scribbled all over the chalkboards in the basement. The woman was preparing and it made Ruby angry. So angry she ignored the obvious changes and the woman when she could. Ruby blinks back from the past and looks at the comments jumping around on the phone screen. Those chalkboards kept getting emptier and emptier.

The comments are a mix of wanting a cover and her own songs. She was okay with covers as long as they weren’t fan selected. Some suggestions were a little too basic for her tastes.

"Truth be told I don't know if I'm emotionally prepared to sing either of those tonight." She knows the words to both songs but the words come with fear. Yes, the added stress of the week had torn her down made her tired. Not even the possible disappearing act of her partner had rattled her like this. Coming out didn't matter that much but her career did. She's been singing since she can remember. Singing to cure the lonely of being the oldest of three. The oldest tasked with picking up where their mother left off before running off with a man. Singing to fill the societal pressures she would not shrink for. Would this ruin everything for her?

Todd texts her, "If you wanna come out you can. Ain't nothing they won't find out in an hour. We got you." She reads over the text and glances at the blonde drinking something clear confidently in the corner.

Ruby hums to herself thinking it over, okay she could do this. Fear kept her from living and not living makes people do dumb things. Dumb things like, abandon people you care about for false acceptance and promises. Not that she'd ever done that, not in this lifetime. She grabs her guitar and sits it in her lap. She can feel the new presence in her space sticking to the edges of the room. Ruby turns her head and mumbles Hey to the blue eyes she finds in candle light. It's the first thing she's said to the witch all day.

Christina perks up as she steps around quietly to find a seat in the room. She's been in the basement transcribing copies of her notes into notebooks. For Atticus, for Letitia, for George, for Ruby. The music from the show filled the basement startling her from her work. A tech, asking if the house was up to date on electrical code. She went upstairs to show him the breaker panel and listened to the set for a bit before going back to the basement. She didn't want to interrupt or make her presence known, just wanted to hear her voice for a bit.

Hear the voice that wouldn't direct itself her way all day. All day until now, Ruby gave her glances and head nods but no words. She woke up to Ruby leaving their bed and their room to go back to the guest room. Ruby meant to sleep there the night before but Christina willed the woman back to her graces for the night. Set up a bath for her lover before bathing the woman's deep brown skin with water and kisses. Wanton words from Christina's lips, 'I miss being inside you' sway her lover. Ruby lets William take her to bed but still wakes up distant from Christina. This is not what Christina wanted but she expected it. 

She felt that Ruby should understand her desire to be dislodged from the stagnation of academia. Thought Ruby would understand the tug for freedom. She could wield magic from her lips, but still couldn't hold Ruby's hand in her own body without looks or comments. She could turn herself into an immortal being if she really wanted to fulfill a prophecy. The stakes would just mean George wouldn't have a father. So her next option in a quest for more would have to be Titus. He's the oldest surviving member of their family caught between living and the dead. But still experiencing the new first. Christina wanted that, she wanted new first and she wanted them with Ruby but expecting the woman to throw her dreams away was too much. Too much for Ruby and too much for her.

"Hi," Christina nods, moving the pillows used as aesthetic props around the room to create a seat.

Looking back at her screen some of her singer friends say roommate? She ignores them but the answer would have been yes.

"Okay this one is my favorite song from another artist. It's special to me and I hope you like it," she says. 

She strums the strings finding the chords of the verse she wanted to sing in her head. "This is Green Papaya by Lianne La Havas."

_ "Our hearts overgrown, longing for peace of our own. _

_ Found Heaven in you" _

Ruby laughs to herself continuing to strum the chords she has learned.

_ "Promise to be pure and true, Still mountains to climb, we will survive, still got time. My partner-in-crime, hoping you'll love me 'til it dies." _

Her voice warbles a bit at the words 'til it dies' but she recovers.

_ "Take me home, let's make real love, real love. _

_ Take me home, let's make real love, real love. _

_ Take me out the blue." _

Ruby careens blue almost like a whisper and smiles into the camera. Where according to the counter her audience has grown and her heart squeezes. Over 2,200 people, shit.

She hears the quiet observer in the room shift. Christina accidentally clinks two glasses together, setting them on the floor as she sits. Ruby hears her whisper sorry but stares at the chat a few people comment that she has a ghost behind her which makes her laugh out loud. 

"Trust me y'all that ain't a ghost," she says knowing any ghost or demons had been exorcised the minute Christina walked in the home. Her eyes soften towards the woman padding into a makeshift seat of pillows. Ruby feels the softness and it makes her head dizzy. She is fucking confused, the woman in front of her the source of confusion. Her lover is far away and close to the simple live setup. Ruby wants to pull her close and kiss her proudly but also curse her out. "...Yet ," Ruby says under her breath.

Christina laughs inside her head silently.

"Why do you Iook so sad ," Ruby reads out loud. She hears Christina cough in the corner and bends the truth. "I'm not sad yall, just a very strong release present from my sister." A, your welcome text pops up from Leti and it makes her roll her eyes. 

She doesn't know if she is as sad as she should be just, disappointed. They were always honest about wanting to live their lives to the fullest. She just thought Christina would have involved her in such big decision making. Instead of omitting the truth until Ruby asked. Their communication skills were pretty spot on, no lies, but Christina only answered tough questions if Ruby asked. For once she wishes the woman started the conversation instead of finishing them.

"Thank you Letitia," Ruby grins out, still reading the comments on the screen.

**braithwhite.c- share some?**

Ruby tips her head to the side, staring at the woman who in a rare form had her cellphone in hand. Christina is mainly secluded in the dark but those eyes are still bright. The candles and mood lights are placed around herself not in front of her. Ruby holds the bottle out for Christina to grab out of frame. Which she does grasp and Ruby can hear her pouring the liquid into the glass instead of going for the more straightforward method. Drowning her sorrows is much easier from the bottle than a glass. Christina had no sorrows over this choice.

Selfish, she shares that trait. Understands the need to be selfish even when selflessness is what others want for you. But it doesn't mean she enjoys the effects of one's selfish nature. 

Ruby shifts the guitar in her lap from discomfort. "You still want my favorite well it starts there once was a man from Nantucket....just kidding." She smiles and her screen is filled with floating hearts. The comments feel like a beast has taken over the crowd. They don't know that they want the song she hasn't sang outside of the booth. Sure she has hummed the melody out-loud, wrote words on scrap pieces of paper, but that was before. Before the song became a song meant for the woman who's never heard it. 

Her sister heard the demo version in the car. Leti stopped the car and asked if she was sure. If Christina was worth it. "Okay, okay. I'll give you all a snippet, but stream the album that version is much better." Christina was worth it, but her self worth was more important. Maybe she could show someone else who checked the same boxes she did would feel seen. Or maybe just maybe without magic needed she would stop interrupting herself for the world.No more being interrupted, Ruby strums...

_ "Drunk on the evening sun, sleeping in the blue. _

_ Angels break bread then they run, I could fall right through, _

_ I can feel you running through my veins, and my soul goes cold. _

_ I fall harder when you say my name, moontime never gets old." _

Christina stops downing her second drink and stares at the wall. What was she doing, why was she torturing herself or Ruby. She did not need to be here listening to Ruby so closely. Basking in Ruby's success and joy, while dangling the inevitable in front of her.

_ "I will skip to you slick with love til you've had enough, _

_ Stroll in my patchwork skin til the love I'm in rests inside you too." _

Ruby bites her teeth together preparing herself for the next lines.

_ "She was the devil and i always knew but i still, I still, Is it unnatural?"  _

Christina places her glass on the floor, so this is what they were doing tonight.

_ "You are a starry ache, can't decide if you're cruel, _

_ But it's better to be burnt by the sun than to be chased by wolves." _

Ruby glances at the woman and looks away from the blue eyes stuck on her.

_ "Felt their eyes judgin' our love and beggin' for blood, _

_ I could never blame you darlin _

_ Blue eyed devil, is it cool? _

_ I wanna tell you that I love you. _

_ Drunk on the evening sun, sleeping in the blue." _

Ruby cradles her guitar as she plays and sings out with confidence, _ " I aint no little boy, I just want, Don't make me blue, blue, blue." _

Christina feels dejected as she looks at the floorboards. But, proud of Ruby's honesty and uninterrupted attitude, so she faces the woman in front of her.

Ruby stops playing and looks up from the fixed place on her guitar. Her eyes immediately look for her partners. For reassurance. Christina doesn't cry. It's not a natural occurrence for her so it won't happen no matter how much she feels like she should. But she does know the feeling of wanting to cry. She clears her throat and nods. It's what she can do. She doesn't wanna misread and kiss the woman who looks like 15 lbs had been tossed off her shoulders. 

Ruby glances at the text notifications that pop up back to back. She adjusts her ear piece and says one second to the phone camera. She places her guitar on the stand gently. Turning around she faces her virtual audience preparing for the worst. Her hand hangs off the table as she reads the general response. Pale fingers entangle hers but she doesn't need to match Christina's gaze. She can feel it's intensity of wonder and squeezes the hand holding hers. Reassurance.

*****

Christina poses with Ruby in front of an ornate cake. Far enough away they looked just like two friends. Leti is snapping the picture and she fakes her best small grin. The flash is bright and the company overwhelming. She was not a fan of large parties, but it would look bad if she didn't attend her partner's celebration party. Even if Ruby had come out their relationship was still private. A joint decision, due to the nature of musicianship and academia. Christina wanted her students knowing as much about her love life, as Ruby wanted press knowing about her own. 

She has been tying up loose ends or getting ready to. Teaching George sigils with no incantations but sigils with their meanings. Drawn in the dirt of his mother's garden, small hands covered in earth, matching the small boy who never looked at her with fear. Gifting Leti one too many spell books and teaching Atticus some things about birthing shoggoth. She’d notified the university and her students she would be taking a sabbatical (citing a family emergency), she left her finished curriculum for all of her courses with her stand in. For some reason though she kept telling herself she has not made a decision, just preparing. Christina drove one night on the highway, disobeying speed limits, just moving in one direction as fast as she could. Everything felt like that drive, instead of returning home her heart had no intentions of doubling back but she was preparing.

Leti motions them closer and Christina hesitates, she isn’t in William’s shell this could look suggestive, but Ruby takes her hands quickly and pulls her close. Hands smooth over hers to rest on Ruby’s waist. This pose feels pedestrian and prom-like but it’s nice, she never went to prom. Invited but her father rejected such frivolous occasions. The flash goes off again, Christina rolls an incantation under her tongue. The lights around the bar flicker slightly and then every light shuts off. Guests shriek or groan out, "Come on Sammy you forgetting the light bill again."

Ruby chuckles resting back into the taller woman’s embrace. She whispers under her breath, "If you wanted privacy all you had to do is ask."

"I wanted a new first," Christina whispers next to Ruby’s ear, hearing Ruby hum in response whilst leaning further into her. "Kissing you in a room full of people."

Ruby tips her head to the side and enjoys the warmth of the kiss. She hears Leti's camera go off and flips her sister off. Christina can feel the smile on her lovers lips as they kiss and sighs contently. She pulls back and distances herself as the lights whiz back on. A new first and her final decision made.

"You promised !" Ruby shook her hands in protest. She's been out all day busy with promotional photos and videos. When she got home it was late and she figured Christina would be asleep. Instead she is awake and standing in their bedroom mirror, in a dress that looks important. Too important and virginal for anything simple. 

Christina nods calmly as she speaks, "I suggested, but never promised. I never break my promises, you know that. You do not need me, I gave you magic. Those books in the basement are full of it, the house full of it. I signed you on as a permanent tenant. Co-signer on the property, no one can kick you out. Magic is freedom and if that's what you want then take it. Birth yourself over and over again if you have to."

Ruby rolls her neck looking at the ceiling. This woman was really giving her some faux weak ass truth speak about magic. How magic gave so much supposed freedom but here she was. A black woman with spells literally filed in her brain but if anyone caught on her power she'd be crucified. Called a demon and unholy by her own people and seen as a threat by others. Magic or not. Also, Christina forging her signature, really.

"Please shut the fuck up Christina, your psycho analyzing is pushing me to my limit because you give me nothing but a migraine." Ruby spits the words from her mouth.

Christina settles into her composure raising a brow she asks, "And what is that limit."

"Leaving you to do whatever the hell you want, including getting yourself killed by your damn self, " Ruby says, feeling her heart racing in her ears.

"I never asked you to come," Christina exhales like the sentence is a breath not like words that could end her relationship.

"Then why did you keep me around all this time. You just made me your plan b because you had no one else. Were you just waiting for someone to take pity on. Make her dreams come true and then just leave her empty handed." Ruby turns and walks away.

Christina twists her lips and inhales, "Wait." Ruby stops and turns. "No Ruby, you were an unexpected source of magic in my life. You are a variable I tend to factor into all my decisions. Even this one, but my choice would be easier without you. I am choosing to not bring you with me because the way you look on stage is even better than you underneath me. Your dreams should really matter more to you Ruby." 

She would never give up her dreams. not even for a tall skinny rich papa, who gave her potions to cross the lines of race and gender if she wanted. Christina walked her through the spell a few times when Dell's body became lackluster. Christina was not leaving her empty handed just without her. It hurt because she knew no matter what Christina would not choose her, that coupled with her own pursuits was painful. Painful because there was no way in this world or the next they would ever be selfless. Selfless enough to pretend their own desires didn't matter more than their connection. Ruby straightens up, swallows the verbal smack in the face, and watches the woman in a white dress come her way. Ruby swallows the tears that haven't already fallen. It was always transactional, Ruby thinks to herself.

"I haven't even decided yet, " Christina hums and turns starting to unzip the ceremonial dress. Ruby watches the woman and hyperventilates a little, she knew. Christina rolls her shoulders free of the sleeves and folds the dress once it's off. She places it on the bed and walks back over to Ruby who looks like she could stab her. Christina breaks into Ruby's personal space. "I promise you, if you need me I will be there."

Ruby looks up, rolling her watery gaze, staring up and down her lover's face. Those blue eyes glued to her lips. Ruby touches the collarbone of the woman before gripping her lightly by the neck. The kiss is roughly impatient, but so full like eating an entire meal in one sitting. Such little time to placate both of their appetites for one another.

Soon the day of the ceremony comes, Ruby goes with Leti to church, then to their mother's grave. Leti drove, the radio played her single and Ruby flicked it off. Ruby got her manager to push a few interviews around stating a family emergency. The joy of her album release and the party soured by this night that had finally come. George was with his father and his father was with the two people she would rather not see until the night. Christina and Titus discussing their next moves with Attiicus and George learning on the sidelines. Ruby woke up with a naked and dead to the world or the day Christina in her arms. She stared at the woman for a while, drinking in the stillness until Titus stirred them both by banging on the door. Vilely unhappy that his black descendants would be assisting in ceremonial preparation, Christina detached herself from her lover and threw an outfit on with gust. Having to yet again explain that calling Atticus slurs would lose him a piece of his puzzle for power as would denying Atticus a chance to learn. Ruby did not want to be in the house after that, it wasn’t like Christina had the time for her. Dinner was a mix of dishes that resembled a Sunday or funeral repast at Hippolyta’s that Titus was not invited to. The day was long, but the night went by quickly. Blood poured from both Tic and Christina as screams filled the ceremonial air and then nothing. Whatever hole torn in time Titus and Christina sucked deep into it. Tic was lucky Ji-ah had 9 tails to keep him from slipping through time as well. 

The drive back to Chicago is quiet and awkward. Dee and George sit in the trunk of Hippolyta's station wagon reading comics and books until they both fall asleep. Tic is in the passenger seat while Leti tends to his wound with assistance from Ji-ah. Ji-ah, an emt friend of Tic’s, kept the space between Montrose and Ruby. It was a brave space to sit in with those two. Hippolyta adjusts radio stations as she drives to eat up the silence. Montrose gives Ruby dirty glances from the side opposite Ji-ah in contempt. His son was hurt and they had no way to help him outside of modern medicine. A burly Rottweiler heavy asleep in Ruby's lap, brushes against a blood soaked piece of white fabric she could not let go of. All this and not an ounce of magic between any of them. Quiet and awkward best describes the group's interactions post ceremony. Slowly the magic started to come back but it's been a month and it takes everything out of Ruby to perform a simple spell to light candles. Tic has been faster to it and George right in the heels of his father. He's eager to show his aunt Ruby his butterfly enchantment but it stings because she knew who taught him the words and their intent. To spectacle and dazzle others, a party trick.

Everyone bores of it within the month

*****

"Fuck you Christina," Ruby gasps.

A blonde head rises from the crook of her neck, "I mean I can continue if you'd like."

"Get the fuck away from me," Ruby says but latches her legs around his waist.

"You say that but I am still in you," William chuckles.

Ruby tries to move her wrist but William's grasp against them is strong.

He thrusts. 

Ruby moans, "I hate you."

"I know," he whispers against her lips and moves his hands away from hers. Ruby places her hands on his back.

He thrusts.

She breathes out as her nails dig into his back. Wondering if she can claw deep enough, they'll penetrate the woman's flesh beneath his. William's hips are slow, deep, and like he is dragging this misery out. Dragging like someone drags a heavy shovel through snow. 

"Why are you doing this to me," Ruby cries out. The feeling warm liquid spill from the holes her fingers have created. Her limbs gripped like a dog to a piece of meat around his body.

"Because I...," William's voice groans into her ears. Her body canvased by the vibrations of his pleasure feeling Ruby tighten her muscles around him.

"You're so fucking greedy was I not enough." Ruby slithers the words in his ears, something sinister.

He Grunts.

"Tell me," Ruby babbles out.

William groans his body settling against hers, " More than enough."

"Selfish," she cries out.

"So are you ," Ruby hears William's voice strong in her ear but a bit of hurt.

"Fuck," Ruby drags her nails down his back, "Baby was I too much. "

William's hips roll over and over. Ruby shudders as he looms over her once again. Bloody fingers trace his jaw and brush his lips. William's lips open and wrap around her fingers. Blue eyes staring down at her, 

"No, fuck you are everything," William expresses halfway between moaning and yelling.

"If I am everything then why ?" Ruby moans the questions but her tears are liquid rage. The anger crossing her skin is as full as her pleasure that is ripped from her. Hot, bloody, and furious.

William's hips stutter and Ruby feels a weight lighter than that of a 6’ man fall into her arms. Her arms filled with white and red. A gory candy cane, pale blue eyes are tracing her profile heavily. "I needed more," Christina hums sweetly. A pain shoots through Ruby's back and she curls at the pain. Her hand searching for the source she feels the sharp edge of a blade. Looking back to Christina she sees a smile on her face as the woman mouths oops.

Ruby jolts awake. her skin is damp and her muscles sore. Her hands clutching the sheet over her. She pulls a pillow from beside her and rocks it closely. It doesn't smell like Christina nor was it warm like her. The cry breaks through the pillows muting effect as she holds the pillow tighter and tighter. God she really hates that woman sometimes especially in this lonely hotel room. 

She knows she shouldn't be crying hours before her performance but here she is. Makeup is going to hate her for such a rough canvas, but she was already lacking sleep.They should be used to her changing face now. Uncommon bags hung under her eyes for weeks now and sleep would have been a welcomed remedy. Sleep just has been evading her and it’s made her more irritable but she doesn’t take it out on her team. She knows better than that but she has been taking it out on herself, Ruby grabs her phone to check the time.

A text is in her notifications and she stares at it. Unknown number. She opens the text and seethes. Her fingers move to type angrily but something stops her. She reads over the text again.

**You're in my dreams.**

*********

The drummer counts back and the band starts to play. She chose this song, there was no backing away now, so Ruby steps towards the mic. The colors studio was large and echoey. She was grateful it was only her voice they could hear and not her thoughts.

_ "Feel you treat me like a boy, _

_ Oh oh-oh, _

_ Feelin' like together we'll grow old _

_ They said I won't rise, huh, yeah that's a lie, _

_ I guess we found love." _

Ruby let's her voice fall through the mic, imagining a crowd in front of her. The keys playing steady with the kick of the drum.

_ "I know I'm so hype _

_ And they don't like that _

_ It's only happy tears rolling from my eyes." _

Happy tears her voice sings out. Yet, her brain screams in upset but she smiles anyway. Smiles and shit grins her way into the next verse.

_ "I've made enough mistakes, _

_ But you're on my side, _

_ I guess we found love." _

Singing this song feels like a lie now but she is faking the joy. Faking joy as much as she can.

_ "I'm on your side, babe. _

_ Never moving sideways, _

_ I'm on your side, babe. _

_ Never moving sideways, _

_ I guess we found love." _

Of course she hadn’t been the sideways lover. Christina did not even bother to tell her she loved her explicitly before leaving her behind.

_ "Real love _

_ Real love." _

Lies.

_ "Real trust _

_ Just us." _

Lies. Her fingers snap along with the music. The snaps help keep her here grounded.

_ "They're gonna call you crazy." _

Ruby waits for the background singers.  _ "Will call you crazy," _ they hum.

_ "Cause they threatened who you're going to be," _ Ruby sings in response.

Images of her lover fill her brain as she sings. Her fingers click together and she hopes she doesn't fall apart in this pale yellow studio. They never really said “i love you” but it would have been nice. So nice.

_ "So pure and gold. _

_ Not a day goes by, that I'm not on your side. _

_ I guess we found love." _

5 days exactly had gone by. Ex-lover she guesses now. Christina was off experiencing new firsts, somewhere without her. The woman swore it wasn't like that but it felt like that. It was like that.

_ "Every day is such a test. _

_ That I love the mind, _

_ The world will make you cold." _

She drowns out the sounds of their last fight with a run. The feeling of heartache cracking in her chest that replay like an acid trip. Couldn't she have just waited.

_ "Not being in your arms. _

_ Is what I don't like. _

_ I guess we found love." _

Fuck that blonde bitch for texting her. Texting her knowing what it would do to her. Ruby feels the tears in her eyes but she blinks more of them away as her background singers finish out the track.

_ "We found love _

_ How did we find love ?" _

******

"Shit," Ruby pulls her hand from the stack of papers she's holding. She is backstage at her first concert since the album dropped. She is working out a track list with the band on stage. It's taken longer than expected.

The energy for the show so far was good but they needed a finalized set to play. She did not expect to inflict herself this way though. The bits of her brain she shut off a month ago whisper at the sight of her blood. Those places tucked away that whisper wishes for the long haired, dead eyed, Braithwhite they whisper over and over. She misses her and she knows it, but it has been 36 days since that day and she has been trying best to silence those whispers. Her hand leaks red and she excuses herself to the bathroom.

Inside she runs water over the cut, ignoring the other women in the restroom. Women talking about the news and gossip she wasn't interested in. Gossip was all talk with no fact, she was not interested in anyone's life when hers was so complex. The water stings far less than the alcohol pad she rubs over her hand. Ruby wrestles with one of the bandaids she snagged from first aid. Her fingers fumbling with the paper almost like they've decided not to work anymore.

"Um, can I help?" Someone asks and Ruby nods. Tan white hands open each bandage with ease and help her apply them. They move dexterously and assured, Ruby looks up to her paper cut nurse. A round face, brown soft eyes, and a curvy frame. Not her. Ruby checks over the bandages once they are secured and softens her smile in thankfulness. Brown eyes give a stare of hurt that makes her throat close up. Jealousy, it couldn’t be. A shaped brow raises and Ruby fails to put words together. She considers laughing or screaming but what if she says something and she's wrong. There are several other women in this bathroom and if she gets the rep as a crazy diva performer she knows she'll never live that down. It'll hang over her.

The woman's face goes from concern to a grin with excitement. Ruby's mouth feels dry and she swallows stepping back from the fingers still in her hand. The woman steps back as the bathroom empties. Ruby feels the annoyance in her face as she shifts her weight. She turns back to, now, the only other woman in the bathroom. She is about to say something but stops before she is cut off, "Switch your opener for a single and plan an encore." The woman’s hands are shorter than the ones in her nightmares every night motion in the air. Much shorter but just as deliberate in movement. Ruby pulls her eyes away from them and back to the woman who has a small smile.

Ruby feels the language of Adam bubbling a curse, a binding spell or anything her mind could formulate. Not anything good was where her intentions were set, something that could turn Christina's insides rotten. Even more rotten than they already were. How did she fall for someone so callous, Leti’s voice in her head says mama. Ruby laughs to herself. The woman who could still not be her former lover is backing away before she can. The brunette blushes and speaks, "I'm a huge fan by the way, I'm excited to hear you sing live tonight."

It's not her, Ruby thinks and feels her eyes prick with tears. She is ashamed she actually wanted it to be Christina even though the chances were slim to impossible. Christina had gone and she just needed to accept it. Accept that she was single, yet again after letting someone sweet talk her off her feet. Her fault for being seduced by riches, privilege, and magic. Ruby felt stupid for letting this woman who left her get to her. The woman who she let in to just break her resolve and hustle her into a game of mental gymnastics and good sex. Fuck, she was stronger than this. She had convinced herself this morning that she just needed to get through another month of heartache and then she could just move on. Move on from this pain that came back at the slightest paper cut. The short brunette woman moves out the door and Ruby hears her own voice whisper, "Chris..."

The woman's hand stops the door from closing and she re-enters. "Huh," she questions but it isn't in the way Ruby wanted. It is a clarification huh that does not recognize the way her vocals strained to breathe life into that name again. Eyes that can’t see the way she is rolling around in bed after bed wrestling her own heartache. Ruby blinks tears that fall knowing she has fucked up. 

Brown eyes stiffen and the woman's brow raises, "I keep my promises." Those were not the words she expected and Ruby exhales almost choking on her own actualized desires. "Where are you staying?" Plump glossed lips ask and Ruby has to recover her vocabulary.

"The Hyatt but I don't want you following me, " Ruby says shaking her head. At least she wasn’t delusional knowing Christina’s face that well.

"Room?," says the woman who looks nothing like the witch she knows is underneath. Ruby searches unfamiliar brown eyes for the blue ones buried behind them. She wants to dig those eyes out with her nails lacquered red not of polish. Wants to turn her rage into a task of ripping her ex from this poor shell of another human. Ruby’s thoughts start to swirl and she wonders how is this even possible. How did Christina manage to find a body, put it on life support, and create a spell in less than 24 hours. Unless she had been around for a while just laying low. Ruby’s stomach churns at the feeling that Christina possibly murdered someone. It was well within the blonde’s lack of morals, but Ruby tried to ignore that when they were together. Ignoring was better than questioning her own morals on why the action turned her on. When they were together, when, not now Ruby speaks to herself. Not now and she fixes her posture to saunter past the frame shorter than her. A hand clasps her wrist but drops quickly.

Ruby pushes past Christina in this new body to the door. She presses her hands into the metal and says clearly, "194."

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick turnaround indeed. Um, where do you see things going? Also would y’all want smut next chapter or no? What other songs do you think would be on Ruby’s album sonically or lyrically? Who is ready for more angst haha but thankyou for reading this chapter as always.


	4. Come as you are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yall wanted something cute i gave you something hot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me writing this before I'm back to monitoring myself and back to work. I can do it, i can do it, i can do....Leave it to the Davenports is updated. *snuggles in for a good read* lmfao. Seriously yall should read that story too super good. Anyways this is being uploaded while I have a bundle of nerves about engaging with others and shooting photos again amid the current world circumstances. My anxiety is kinda high about it but, we will see, writing has been helping though. Warning I tried my hand at non lovey dovey vague smut at the end. Jumping out of my comfort zone.
> 
> If the writers of the show or anyone else involved in LCC development is reading this i am so sorry. Spotify link in the end notes.  
> *  
> (If you see this chapter reuploaded I've just made some grammar edits is all)

"Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby."

The sound of her name gets louder and louder. Her brow is sweaty and her hands tremble with adrenaline. Ruby pulls her neck upwards as spots of light bloom behind her eyelids. 

She sings out the last note of '"Rise to the Sun" and the drummer crescendos his symbols. The crowd claps loudly and Ruby smiles as she opens her eyes. The shadow of heads are whooping and hollering. Her first sold out show, Ruby takes it all in and as the band starts to finish the outro of the song she leans into the mic. "My incredible band everyone, LA thank you so much for having us. Be uninterrupted and stay free." Ruby waves to the crowd and exits backstage beaming. She finds her manager and they have a 'we did it' hug.

After the band is packed up, some people leave to their homes or hotel rooms they've booked. Ruby gets a ride back to her hotel, her hands tired from signing autographs and her tote bag filled with gifts. It was a nice one night performance to keep the album momentum going. As well as, keep her loyal supporters happy, Ruby did not like using the word fans to describe those who listened to her music. Fans weren't what she wanted. She looks out the tinted back windows as the city blurs past. 

God she can't wait to get to that hotel bed and collapse. Tonight was fun, but throughout the show she could feel the effects of keeping it together creeping up on her. Ruby rolls her eyes sleepily to herself remembering she has company coming over. Thankfully she hasn't seen anyone resembling the woman from earlier or her ex since the bathroom. If Christina was in the crowd as herself she never noticed the woman. Which was odd because even in a room of people Christina stood out. Blue and cold eyes and hair almost too blonde for sunlight. Stood out like an uprooted plant in a garden of various plants and flowers. 

Ruby says thank you to the driver who holds her door open. With her hood up and her bag in hand she walks into the hotel. The bellhop smiles at her and hums, "Hello Ms. Baptiste I believe you have a visitor, do you need security."

Ruby nods sleepily, "A woman ?"

"Yes, so no security ?" His grin widens as he moves away from the phone in his stand.

"No need, um was she a blonde ?" Ruby asks him. 

"I saw a brunette go to the front desk, but someone said a blonde is out front of your door." He replies and she bids him goodnight before practically bouncing to the elevator.

When she is on her rooms floor, she turns the corner to the hallway and exhales sadly. The same brunette from earlier is there, which means the serum would take time to wear off. No chances of seeing that blonde hair or those blue eyes tonight she guesses. Ruby walks to the door the woman leans so Christina-ly next to. 

The door beeps green with her card and she turns the handle, "Why did you have to murder a pretty girl."

Christina laughs through her nose. "I didn't," she says smoothing brown curls back and following Ruby into the large suite.

*******

"I didn't think it would be that big of a deal," Christina deadpans.

Ruby hurls out, "Ha, a set list, you waited for a set list to bring yourself back. Almost two months Christina and you tiptoe back in with your tail tucked, when you left me empty handed!"

"How many times do we have to do this and I left you with magic," Christina feels like a little kid being chastised, it gets under her skin.

Ruby can't stop her words from flying out. "As many as we need to, for you to get that you can't come grazing in after Titus stops giving you attention. You wanted him for family, so you have to live with that. Because you made it clear you wanted no parts of the one you already had."

Christina crosses her arms, "You knew what I was like the day after we met." 

"I knew you were a little shit. I also knew you were a narcissist raised by a long line of narcissists'. I did not know that you would eventually sit on the edge of blending the line of emotional intimacy and emotional abuse. For what racist family, immortality, world dominion, you played me. It hurts Christina, I'm tired of getting played by people. I spent my entire childhood watching my momma go through the ringer for men. Come to find white women ain't much different than men. Trying to eat the whole damn cake with their fingers in another. I thought I was fucking Samuel Braithwhite's daughter not his damn twin." Ruby feels like her throat is on fire with acid.

"I didn't mean to manipulate you, it was not like that Ruby. I am sorry for that. Titus isn't...," Christina starts.

"He's a racist Christina, so was your father and sometimes so can you be. You can't lay with me at night and close your eyes to my struggle anymore because I am running out of excuses for you. It is obvious you and Tic are related because you both act like children," Ruby throws her hoodie into a chair and shakes her hands as she speaks.

"I was going to say he isn't giving me the world, just showing me more of it," Christina nods and bites the inside of her lip. She openly loves seeing Ruby alive with passion and anger. Even when that passion and anger are directed at her making her feel exposed and stripped of her ego and standing in her shame.

"No," Ruby shakes her head, "You don't get to charm my underwear off me every time you get your pride hurt. Sit in it like the rest of us humans do."

Christina smirks, she was not as arrogant as her father to ever aspire to be a god or god-like. But she had done things that others would deem her god-worthy.

"Oh please. You can't create new life and command your own will to the world, Christina. You have magic and a pretty white face that affords you complacency. It affords you people looking the other way and you not seeing what doesn't affect you." Ruby exhales like her body is coming to life again.

"Oh," Christina starts, "so you think she's pretty."

Ruby rolls her eyes, "You know what i meant and I'm tired."

"Then sleep," Christina sits on the couch adjacent to the bed, her hand open to the bed in front of her.

"I am tired but I meant I'm tired of you. Tired of you standing next to me and me feeling safe enough to let you sit by stupid and complacent. Let you make an idiot out of me because boohoo your daddy didn't love you. Boohoo the all male board won't let me join their piss party so I'm going to leave my family to chase after some man who doesn't give a damn about me. Chase after this far half fetched goal and run, because Christina for some reason you're hell bent on reliving your legacy. Ya'know the one where you are dead."

Christina nods and stands brushing hair from the body she's manifested. That stings, because it is the truth and she knows it. 

"What about the professors who have busted their ass for tenure, wrote or read dissertation after another, and still can't join the board or committee because they aren't white. Yet, somehow you just strolled in and snatched a job because you have magic and a family name that gives you opportunity. Fuck you, Christina because I know your bone for empathy is eroded thin, but you still don't consider anyone outside of yourself. Fuck you, because you left me and never bothered to consider how you would break my heart only your own." Ruby let's the words roll and flow out of her chest.

Christina nods," Do you want me to leave?"

Ruby lets her anger occupy her tongue and raises her voice, "No ! I want you to feel how I feel everyday I'm in Chicago. Feel the pain I feel everytime I walk into OUR house, after walking OUR dog, after spending time with OUR family and you aren't there. You left me lonely with a million eyes on me because I love music and because I love someone. I thought if I loved you and held on long enough you'd see it but no you are too damn selfish. Magic is great, thanks for the booster seat babe, but I wanted you too. We could of had eachother, magic, and power but you decided to go at it alone. If you end up alone with nothing, but magic to keep you warm at night, that is on you."

Christina gives Ruby an impressed look. Her face contorts from hurt stern-ness to understanding. It's a weird understanding of her being not the best person and not the best partner. Understanding even though they keep compromise low for each other, Ruby compromised herself and possibly losing her blood family for her. Even after their past lives were written in the book of names Ruby still found her and stayed. Christina knew of her fault of only seeing what she could give and get from people. Situational transactions, her mother would of told her she was an opportunist to soften the blow. Age had shut off her senses of people giving without conditions because they could. She did love her though, the care they built on the opportunity that magic gave them grew into love.Christina just thought she hadn't to say it for Ruby to know. She shifts and then buttons her jacket. This was better absorbed alone and with alcohol.

"Where are you going?" Ruby steps in front of her pathway.

"To use my pretty white privilege to get me a drink, a room, maybe a warm body." It was her cold attempt and sarcasm but it came off aggressive. Christina cuts at Ruby icy blue eyes behind her mirage' brown pair at, but just gets a scoff.

"Oh hell no. You aren't fucking your way to feeling anything, but regret, with me or anyone else." Ruby is so close to giving Christina an opening to leave and never come back. She does not want to because even though the face and voice are not of her ex, the words are. If she can cling to the tattered edges of hurt they will tear. She can get the speaker to think bigger, maybe she would have a chance to not lose her again. Even if they never got back to being lovers. They could remain friends.

Christina raises brown brows and tucks her hands in the pockets of the light jacket, "I still need a room."

Ruby rolls her eyes, "You just expected to get lucky didn't you, a booty call."

"I did not expect anything, I just hadn't the time since you dragged me up here so quickly. I also need bourbon." Christina nods.

Ruby sighs, "Go ahead and raid the minibar." She points to the fridge, "But you are sleeping in the couch."

"In?" Christina laughs.

"On, but you knew that smart ass." Ruby pulls her boots off.

"Couch really?" Christina questions while leaning down and pulling mini bottles from the fridge. 

"Yes, couch, I'm not done being angry with you and let me shower before you junk up the tile with this poor woman's skin." Ruby starts to pull her shirt up but remembers her company and stops.

Christina is glancing at her from the couch, "No clean up necessary," she says words in Adam clearly. The glamor she has on, is a mirage and it disappears and her own image is there. She smiles at Ruby's jaw opening and closing slightly. "New spell for temporary needs."

*****

They both fall into the fringes of sleep after emotions were heavy and spent. The TV set on a random station playing late night reality entertainment, while they got more grievances off of their chests'. Catty banter plays in the background long after Ruby shut off the light and handed Christina the remote. Turning away from the woman to give her brain some respite away from the person who hung in her thoughts. Sheets and comforters piled over her silk bonnet covered head until she slipped into the haze of her tiredness.

Sometime later Ruby pulls the comforter from her head into a pitch black and quiet room. 

"Where are you going?," Ruby questions quickly. She has been "asleep" but she could hear her visitor shrugging on their jacket. The panic in her voice is reactionary and she can't catch herself half asleep.

"For air." Christina realizes the fear in Ruby's voice and repeats, "Just for air I promise."

Ruby settles back into her pillow watching the door, "Okay."

Christina puts her glamor back on once she is in the elevator. The glamor just stopped the stares people gave her in her form. She leans on the wall outside of the hotel. She knows she should leave and get back to her most recent reality. She starts thinking back to where she has been recently and what she has been doing. Time traveling with Titus and sitting in dusty libraries across the world. She went from traipsing around the British Raj with Titus to 1973, the opening of the Sydney opera house by herself. Getting lost in time and space absorbing destruction and knowledge. Most of which she quickly learned would have to be self taught. Titus fell back on his promises and the title family was only used to keep her complacent. He taught her some things but it was never what she wanted to know, only what he felt like teaching. Using magic and Titus' begrudging help she made use of Hyrim's time machine. Used the device over and over again until her shoulders were sore.

Soreness that ached throughout her entire body and no amount of massage therapy could get the sore out. It made her want to soak in a tub for long hours until her fingers pruned. Long enough for Ruby to get concerned and knock at the door. She has seen the woman she knows she had lost. Well versions of Ruby and Ruby in her childhood. Sometimes she saw Ruby in the 70s or 80s, but not the age or appropriate decade for her Ruby. Christina saw her past self too, the one barreling towards her own demise likely just weeks away. Happier times though then the end, she was with Ruby driving in a silver Bentley stopped just outside of an ice cream shop. Christina watched herself strut inside the shop while Ruby sat in the car looking....uncomfortable to say the least. Christina kept her own eyes out for anyone, but knowing herself Ruby had to have some kind of protection around her. She sees herself push back through the door of the parlor holding two ice cream cones. A man holds it open for her and she doesn't regard him much, but she does watch 50s Christina hold a cone through the window for Ruby. Vanilla. 

A stark contrast to what she knew would come for them both eventually.

She saw her own Ruby three times; once in 1992, small and running around in front of an apartment complex in Chicago. Chasing after a smaller babbling but just as much trouble Leti. A boy closer to Ruby bounced a ball near them yelling, " Momma said to watch her you aren't watching her."

8 year old Ruby stops in her tracks lifting Leti in her arms. Ruby stares at the small boy and yells out, "Oh shut up. Marvin, we are playing. Maybe you should be a kid before you're too old to."

Leti echoes her older sister, "Yea Marvin, be a kid."

Christina smiled from her seat on a bus bench. She wished for miniature Ruby's full of precocious attitude and a spunk running at their feet. She could never imagine herself as a mother or a father, but she still had the thought. The thought of an entire life, that she couldn't give to Ruby. Well not in this body at least.

The second time she sees her is a teenage Ruby being flirted on by boys and men twice her age. It's sometime in the 90s the air is thicker with pollution from smog and audio. Christina had to hold her wrists back before she marched over there and swung on one of them. Her wrists were no use in a fight, but willing to collide with some perverts face. Ruby is outside of a different housing complex, from the first, with what looks like a group of friends. It's the summer before the big Y2K scare, 1999, and Ruby is glaring at every man who crosses her path. Christina watches a red Ford escort pull up to the curb with music blasting from it. The back door of the car opens and a teenage Leti appears. Christina watches as Ruby scolds her sister from afar, she is too far away to hear the words but can see the emotion. She sees Leti push past Ruby and Ruby with her group of friends in tow following her sister into the home.

An accident is another word to describe the third encounter. 2009, Christina is enjoying Oprah-palooza. It's one of the first times in days she's had fun. Most of her recent days were spent locked into notes and research. For Titus and herself, she gave up on trying to please him exactly. Realizing she did exactly what she did with her father, forced herself to live up to their expectations. She scoured for an event in Chicago she never got to experience and inserted herself into it. She listened to a bunch of artists and was on her way to find food. Not looking in front of her she bumps into a man. He is jumping back from her and she is jumping back from him. He apologizes and Christina brushes it off taking a sip from her straw. Affectionately a woman says behind him," Babe is everything okay."

When he moves the woman there has her natural hair in mini buns that Christina knows are called bantu knots. Her dark brown skin is glistening in the sun and her eyes shine brightly up at him. Christina chokes on her drink and sputters into a cough. She can hear people asking if she is okay and she holds up a hand to signal she is fine. A light warmth rests on her shoulder and the spark that goes between her and the owner of said warmth is instant. The hand jeers away quickly, Christina stands up after a minute and apologizes trying to flee the concerned woman's gaze. A hand is fanning at her face and Christina stops averting her eyes. Ruby, her brain buzzes as they land on the woman who is still fanning her but her eyes look scared. Scared like she just felt something that she felt like she shouldn't be feeling. Christina thanks her and the man before splitting into the crowd as fast as possible. 

That man is long gone now and Ruby never speaks of him, but it was weird seeing her lo...ex lover call someone else babe. Christina sighs into the warmth of night and ponders how to balance her "sabbatical" and correcting things with Ruby. When the sketchiness of outside finally makes the hair on her neck stand up Christina heads back inside. She takes her time getting back to the room, using Ruby's key to enter. It's completely dark and quiet as she drapes her jacket on the wall hanger. She walks back to her makeshift cot and gets ready to lay back down.

"Come here," Ruby yawns trying to shake sleep from her.

Christina mumbles, "Are you sure ?"

"Will you honestly do the work and maybe humble yourself a bit," Ruby bluntly puts it.

Christina thinks it over, "Yes, but never humble."

"Then come hold me, even if it is just tonight. As yourself please and without those outside pants." Ruby pulls back the covers and motions for Christina to join her.

"I don't sleep with a glamor on, it stops working when I'm asleep," Christina strips her pants and is clad only in the baggy shirt Ruby gave her to sleep in. She climbs into the bed still wearing another woman's face.

Ruby scoots over to make space for Christina, "As yourself."

Christina rests brown hair on a pillow and faces Ruby. Words of Adam mumble off her tongue and her own face returns. She stretches looking at her own hands, sometimes returning back to this form via cocoon or mirage is nice. Looking back to Ruby she notices the woman flitting her eyes down to her lips. "Is something wrong ?" She asks with some flirt in her voice.

Ruby keeps her eyes glued on Christina's lips. She knows she should not want to kiss her or touch her or feel her up close. Yet, she does, this person regardless of face, name, or body is like a damn drug. A drug that she can't completely shake the urge to indulge in, it could be so much more harmful to her if she let it. But, she knows when to filet their past relationship and leave it open and honest. 

"If you stay, be more transparent with me," Ruby hushes while rolling over top of the other woman in this queen sized bed. "Not just about your magic but what you learn or I'm not your friend."

Christina nods as she shifts her hands up the back of Ruby's thighs," I can try, but I can't promise a _' friend_ ' that I'll change. No matter how much I experience or learn i am still me."

"No one is asking you to change everything about yourself Braithwhite, just asking you to see more sides than your own and talk to me about it first. Not Tic, George, or even your little students about it." Ruby rests on her forearms on either side of Christina's body. She inches her thigh between two lithe thighs that spread so she can rest her weight in between them. 

Christina covers her moan by clearing her throat. "I can definitely do that Ms. Baptiste, also didn't you tell me i wasn't allowed to fuck you."

Ruby dips her lips to Christina's face, "You can't fuck me, but I never said I couldn't fuck you." The sound Christina makes darkens Ruby's eyes. Her hips grind into Christina's making her thigh brush Christina. Ruby feels long fingers cup her ass and she lets them, watching the way Christina's pupils expand under her gaze. Ruby leans into the side of Christina's neck and presses a light kiss on her pulse point. 

Christina tenses and releases as teeth graze her skin. She slips her hands up Ruby's shirt, running them across the woman's sides. Her dreams weren't close to this.

******

"God you're so wet," Ruby says mostly under her breath. Her hand tucked deep into Christina's waistband.

"A god? Don't tease me," Christina says pointedly by flirty.

Ruby sighs, keeping her movements consistent, "You are way too arrogant for someone i can make cum so easily. But nah, I think you deserve it."

Christina tries to keep her composure but Ruby's menial strokes against her have her legs rubbing up the other woman's sides. Maybe they could be like crickets brushing against each other for warmth in the night. Casual until she figures out what to do next.

"Did you miss me?"

Or maybe not so casual, Christina feels Ruby's hand between their bodies move faster. She tries to still her bodies trembling movements at the touch. She wants to use her words, but the stimulus is too foreign. Too distant and clouded by regret at the same time. Christina nods with her hands holding either side of Ruby's neck.

"Christina," Ruby hums her voice filled with heat, "Did you miss me ?" She slips her fingers down into wet heat and back up, she smiles as Christina bites her bottom lip. She does it again gathering more slickness and creates circles on the woman's (clit). "Did you miss me?"

"Mmhmm," Christina gasps nodding her head profusely. Looking at Ruby feels like she is drunk and high. Cross faded on what she's been denied of, for so long. Her own stubbornness getting in the way.

Ruby flattens her fingers along Christina's sensitivity while grinding her hips. "36 days lonely in your bed, but you could've had this." Ruby grinds her hips again slowly watching Christina lose her nerve. Her hips rotate once more but she pulls back and feels Christina's hips chase hers. Ruby chuckles.

Christina careens her head to Ruby's lips and pouts when her ex moves away. Completely pushing away from her sitting back on knees. One hand still against Christina's sex.

"Please baby," Christina mules it sounds desperate but she doesn't care.

Ruby shakes her head making the distance larger, "No." Christina lays back on the pillow batting her eyelashes. 

Ruby looks at the wall as she slips a finger slowly inside the woman. She feels the resistance slowly give a hand rests on her wrists. Aside from that gesture Christina is quiet. The warmth is something she wants to snuggle into but she knows it will land her on her back. Ruby drops her gaze to the flushed woman in front of her. Her finger moves like a slow piston just getting used to the feeling of this woman all over again. 

"Fuck," Ruby whispers watching the woman her finger falls into strain yet again to keep composed. Even like this so she sets her course to undo that. Ruby slides her finger out and presses back in with two the groan from the devil is illicit. She slips them in and out again like a running stitch. Hand stitching her ex back to the earth and away from the clouds. Her fingers curl and Christina's hand on her wrist falls away. Falls down between the woman's own legs and fingers move to her (clit). 

Ruby feels her jaw loosen watching her fingers curl and move inside of the woman while long fingers assist their counterparts. Her ears register the rapid breathing from Christina and she looks at that face again. Even though it makes her viscerally angry and hornier, to do so. That face which looks at her softly but wanting more. So she slows her hand and is taken back by how much wetter her hand becomes. "Have you ever....," Ruby shudders her tongue salivating hungrily.

Christina laughs deep in her belly, "Monaco, 3 weeks ago your time, fucking myself with you in mind."

"You were," Ruby moves her fingers inside the woman again and causes a spine to go stiff, "in sun flooded cotton sheets soaking them, for me, Christina."

"Yesssss," Christina grits her teeth as Ruby's wrist picks up speed. She tries to soften her eyes at the woman gazing at her with dark eyes filled with intimacy and disgust. Soften her gaze to appear not a threat or the person who bruised Ruby's heart. But, she knows Ruby's gaze is too locked in she'd ruined a chance for reprieve. She would just have to lick her own wounds in the morning. Her thighs start to shiver and her body gets closer, but there is a loss of friction and Christina whimpers. It was going to be that kind of night.

Ruby stretches her non slick hand to turn the sharp jaw back to her. Blue eyes hold her gaze as she places two digits in between her lips. The gulp against her fingers has her press a thumb against Christina's lips. Ruby exaggerates the moan she lets out tasting the woman on her tongue. The first time in a month, that wasn't his long strands of white hardness shooting the same taste down her throat. Just before he left her. The extra moan is loud enough for them both to hear. The lips pressing a light kiss to her thumb pad get pulled, as she pulls the hand away. Her fingers with sanguine nails pop from her own lips with a quiet moan. She falls forward with both hands on either side of Christina's head. Ruby leans into those lips and the back, a pump fake, watching Christina lean into nothingness.

"Please just one," Christina whines roughly and Ruby bites her lip. Christina grovels every so often but when it's during sex it send Ruby's ears spinning. "Ruby please, I want to taste myself, on you. Please." 

Ruby huffs, "Narcissist," and leans in to let Christina get a taste. One messy kiss turns into Ruby teasing Christina with her fingers, yet again. Push and pull until a twig is about to snap and then nothing. Again when Christina gets impatient and almost tears Ruby's shirt from her. Over and over they play this game. Ruby whispering phrases like 'you are not a god' that Christina can only moan in rebuttal or in agreeance when Ruby let's softness poke the woman's ear. Softness that sounds like I missed you so much or are you still mine. When Ruby feels her own orgasm too close to stave away she divulges herself fully. She presses kisses that leave bruises all over the now bare neck and chest of the professor now next to her. Licks collarbone and sucks on hardened skin. Moans as hands full themselves with the swell of her breast.

Christina managed to adjust them every so slightly when she wasn't full of Ruby's fingers or briefly her tongue. A thin thigh is saddled in between Ruby's thighs as she pushes the other word to come undone in her ear. Her own nails sunk into boney pale flesh while teeth clench her shoulder. The wound taught valve inside of her pops like a tire with too much air pressure. As her body spasms into arms wrapped around her tightening protectively, she hears Christina shuddering. Muttering Adam into her skin between teeth until the woman's legs clench around her skin and Ruby steadies the movement of her thigh. Paddling them both through their orgasms, her own feeling like a never ending freefall. Christina's whimpers are loud and needy in her ear over and over, "Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby."

********

The sun filters into the hotel from a crack in the blinds. It's afternoon and Ruby is grateful she has the next few days off. She finishes her tea and slips back into bed. Christina looks so much less evil asleep. Asleep wrapped in blankets and nude. She stares at the woman fondly before laying her head on the pillow. Turning to face Christina she smiles at sleepy blue eyes that look at her through eyelashes. 

"Hi," Ruby hums, "I planned on going back to sleep."

Christina slips her arm over Ruby and rests her chin on the other woman's shoulder," Can I join ?"

Ruby wants to be petty and say 'well unless you have somewhere else to be', but instead she just nods letting herself be cuddled. She is drifting to sleep, just awake enough to hear Christina speak.

"You sounded beautiful last night singing." Christina says quietly before she nuzzles into Ruby's nape. Ruby almost misses hearing her as she whispers, 'I love you." Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could just end this here but part of me doesn't know if I will. If the inspiration muses speak to me or anyone wants to suggest a plot point feel free too. Trust me I need to write to keep my anxieties low. Let me know though as always your thoughts.
> 
> Ruby's album list is a w.i.p but, everything from 'dodging the devil by mereba' down is Ruby's album atm. Everything before just my writing immersive music for this story.
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0GTOzx032RnVZX8N2PRH3l?si=n_x2WZ6gQCqZcLr8ngTjpw


	5. Just an Update not a chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An update with questions not a chapter

This is just an update and will be deleted when the next chapter is finished and uploaded. But, we are continuing along with it and I hope you are strapped in, I just have some questions for you all. 

-Would y'all want or no want smut in the next chapter and how egregious (in my own tasteful warm way) do you want it to be?

-What do you see happening? Angst? Heartbreak? Kids? Remember those students? 👀 

Also playlist is coming along well and here is what Ruby's Album Sustained is looking like right now. (If you have any songs I should listen to while I write for these two I'd love to hear them.)

_**Sustained (still a w.i.p)** _

1\. (Intro) Mereba - dodging the devil

2\. Charlotte Day Wilson - Where Do You Go

3\. VanJess - Come Over {not sure about this song}

4\. Cleo Sol - Sideways

5\. Jazmine Sullivan - Lost One

6\. Raveena - If Only

7\. India Shawn, Anderson .Paak - Movin' On (feat. Anderson .Paak)

8\. H.E.R. - Damage

9\. Nao, Lianne La Havas - Woman (feat. Lianne La Havas)

10\. KIRBY - Velvet

11\. Brittany Howard - Georgia*

12\. Machinedrum, Mono/Poly, Tanerélle - Star

13\. Alabama Shakes - Rise To The Sun

14\. BbyMutha, Kindora - Sleeping With the Enemy

15\. Hope Tala - D.T.M.

Arlo Parks - Green Eyes*

Hope Tala - Blue*

Bonus Tracks:

16\. Rayana Jay - Magic

17\. Anna Wise, Little Simz - Abracadabra

*where Georgia is in the tracklist is the location in the album of the song that is in the story comprised of the 3 starred songs in the playlist.

*hint if you see the playlist being updated it means I'm writing.*


	6. rain, glitter, rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I listen to Black Coffee by Sarah Vaughn and daydream Ruby singing it. 
> 
> Warning: This is a long thick chapter and there is a bit of hefty smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it has been a while. I ended up writing about two full/three outline chapters of the story when writing this one, but I was not sure if I should drop both chapters at once. So this could have been split into 2 chapters if I wanted but this is longggg. I tried to bring in some things suggested in the comments with my own twist. Also took some advice and there are now some time stamps.
> 
> Reading notes: Italicized letters are songs or singing when Ruby and Leti are singing that's present, not the recalled events (the past tense). They are singing Day Dreaming by Aretha Franklin. Also pronouns will switch between she, him, and they at certain points for Christina. For Joanna envision Christina Hendricks and for Aleja envision Ana de Armas. I quite literally had to find a celeb that fit the character in my head. Enjoy your read (:

She runs her hand through blonde locks while leaning back on the headboard. Weaving the yards of platinum in between her fingers. Strands of hair that cover her hand as her fingers dip further, like the words of a spell. Red fingertips sinking to the bottom of a blonde sea. She presses the blunt edges of her nails into scalp and scratches lightly. Skin pressed against hers expands and contracts as Christina settles more into the contact.

The taller woman has managed to curl herself half against and on to Ruby's torso. Her leg resting over Ruby's as they watch the movie on the screen. She missed the comfort of trusting someone almost entirely. Ruby's 2 months had spanned hundreds of years for the scholar. Most of those years spent doing things for Titus, creating small inconvenient moments of havoc, or just experiencing what she could grasp onto. Grasp with both hands and feel everything until it became unfulfilling. She feels full here with Ruby's hand mindlessly in her hair and warm skin under her fingers that are the only barrier between her cheek.

"Would you want to actually go eat real food?" Christina asks her voice groggy with affection. She can feel Ruby's fingers continue at her scalp even as Ruby is quiet in thought. She waits for her response, smiling at the action scene on the TV. The scene keeps going and Ruby still hasn't said anything, so Christina starts to move her head. She catches a glimpse of Ruby's face, her hair still covered with a silky bonnet, and the hand cradling her nape stops moving. Ruby is pursing her lips and cutting her annoyance. Christina glances at Ruby's annoyed little expression and upset stare through her eyelashes. She turns her gaze and feels her own smile forming, she was kind of cute when she was angry. "Your back has the marks not mine."

Ruby rolls her eyes.

*******

The dressing is tangy on her palette as Christina chews her salad. She glances up from her food to Ruby side eyeing her. Christina raises a brown brow for the question. She genuinely was extremely hungry after rolling around for hours in Ruby's hotel room.

"So, you've been traveling the world through time and space being some old racist white man's apprentice." Ruby feels the disgust on her face as she speaks and doesn't attempt to fix it. 

Christina rolls the obvious green eyes she has adopted. Green that almost seems to mimic the sun in certain shades of sunlight. She licks her lips, "I don't know if scribing his notes and teaching myself everything is an apprenticeship. More like an advanced intern, and no I have not adopted his dated beliefs."

Ruby pushes the grilled asparagus on her plate around with a fork before eating it. She is listening, but it is hard to take the other woman seriously. The other woman that doesn't look or sound like herself. "Right, because you fucked me you can't be racist," Ruby mumbles into her forkful of food. At least she is pretty.

"Not true, I could. Yet, I'm not, I'm just ignorant....," Christina squints her eyes a bit at the sunlight reflecting onto the restaurant patio they sit at. The shade attached to the roof structure is obstructing enough sunlight, but it reflects harshly off silver cutlery and clear glasses. Christina is grateful to have a mirage for Ruby and her own privacy. But it is not the same as inhabiting someone else's skin. It has limits that involve still having her own eyesight in this brightness. Of course, she doesn't have a pair of sunglasses to shield them and uses her hand to cover the sunlight.

Ruby tips her sunglasses down to see the other woman struggling with the light. "Then educate yourself and you okay over there blue eyes?" Ruby glances at Christina before pushing her sunglasses back up. 

Christina waves her concern away and covers her eyes again, " I plan to."

This was a conversation Christina has started to understand would just become a part of her life. Whether it was with Ruby, another black friend, family member, or partner, or just herself. Confronting things she normally indulged in because society let her without retrospect. She must be self-accountable for her own complacency and privilege. Especially if she wants several small versions of Ruby in her future. She watches Ruby contemplate her sincerity before slipping off the cat eyed frames. Ruby's fingers hold them out to her, and she reluctantly receives the relief. Her eyes comfortable behind the dark lenses Christina resumes her meal.

When they are both finished, a glass of wine in each, they bicker about the check, they bicker about dessert, and then Ruby suggests they find somewhere else to argue. Christina chooses the place and that is how they end up at a cathedral.

Which is absolutely not somewhere Ruby thought they would go. She squirms in her seat where Christina seems unbothered. How could a more seasoned practitioner of what the Bible would consider sin be so relaxed. She doesn't press the thought to Chris, she just thinks about it and sits next to Christina in the pew. Over a foot away, just in case they brought enough bad juju inside.

"It is an old building with walls and decorations, Ruby," Christina says looking at the cross on the wall up and down, side to side. 

Ruby looks at Christina, "You are the epitome of unholy."

Christina exhales, "Am I? I didn't notice."

"You play God and then leave your Hera behind." Ruby presses her hands along the wooden edge of the pew.

"Hera was capable on her own. Zeus was a whore with his seed, and I am neither. Ruby I don't want to be a god I just admire and despise them." Christina keeps looking at the cross and sits her hand on Ruby's knee.

They see each other the next day because it was Ruby's off day and Christina had no plans for the day. It is a simple day at a hotel, that Ruby nor Christina is staying at, they take advantage of the pool and the spa. When they bore of that, they ventured to an outdoor vintage market. Christina in her disguise and Ruby wearing dress down clothes and sunglasses. It is nice, and Ruby finds herself leaning into the now shorter kinder woman. Sex happens again, a quickie, before Christina leaves as herself. Ruby made sure before she left that the woman's hair was tousled, and her face flushed. 

Christina teeters at the door like she doesn't want to go. She pulls Ruby closer by her robe belt and kisses her deeply. Ruby pulls away and nudges her ex out the door. She had work in the morning and if Christina needed her, she had her number.

********

They are so close. So close that they invade personal space, in private that is the norm. But they aren't in private, they are in public on a very busy music video set. Ruby gives Christina a hand gesture to get off of her phone. The other woman holds up one finger and continues to talk while looking into Ruby's eyes.

Ruby matches Christina's gaze that is bold and poignant. The woman is damn near staring through her soul, but she has learned not to look away. It's always a lot, but Ruby has gotten more used to their concentration, she knows people can see them and are staring too. Luckily for her she stares most people in the eyes when they talk to her. Her team are probably the eyes buzzing around them. They are safe if Christina pulls her cards and tells her bluff, but the team can be a chatty bunch. It's safe to say Ruby will be rejecting anything she would gladly receive in another setting. Her team is likely peeping in on the woman they don't realize they do know some things about. 

Their very little knowledge extends to a caller I.D that reads **Braithwhite** 😒 or **Chris** 😻. The caller I.D depends on where Christina is calling from, home or elsewhere. Ruby always hopes that it is Chris calling instead of Braithwhite. Chris would be calling from home in Chicago to tell her their home is still theirs. Instead it is always Braithwhite and she's ignoring the phone call in front of her manager, the makeup team, and her band. They all see the annoyance flair whenever Braithwhite calls and then dissipate when the phone stops ringing. Then Ruby comes back to her reality as if her phone never rang. In fact, **Braithwhite** **😒** called several times as they set up for the shoot of "Star".

The team have their secret bets and guesses on who this Chris is. Most of their theories involve a secret boyfriend or ex-boyfriend. Even with Ruby technically "coming out" in her music the woman still was vague. She has been avoiding interviews surrounding her Instagram live and playfully pushing away questions around it. They collectively choose but to push the woman even though they all gave their support from the beginning. Nakia tells Samuel she thinks maybe Ruby is afraid to just use labels and trap herself. Samuel tells Nakia Ruby is a plus sized, dark skinned, straightforward black woman who takes no shit but telling the world she is gay may be too much for her to bare. The world gave so little to women like her and to be so bold could intimidate people. They keep their mouths shut around Ruby and continue to do their jobs.

Until eyes all share glances of "who's that" and the crew is buzzing with curiosity. A tall blonde model stands on the edge of the music video set. Someone mistakes the woman for talent and they whisper to the rest of those working the woman's eyes look glacial. They are all pretending to work with a few actually setting up for the next shot while Ruby is supposed to be changing. 

Nakia, Ruby's hair stylist, whispers to a dancer as they watch Ruby approach the model. The dancer whispers to the bassist and so on. A messy game of whisper down the lane that is unaware of the actual conversation being had. They watch as Ruby impatiently motions to the white woman on her phone. It looks intense and then playful. Nakia and Samuel, Ruby's makeup artist, pretend to clean the hair and makeup station as they "mind their own business".

"Sorry JJ, I'll have to call you later my wife is here. Yes, now......okay then." Christina hangs up her phone and slips it in her pocket before stepping into Ruby's personal space.

"Your wife?" Ruby asks, crossing her arms, "A bit presumptuous that I'd have said yes, since we aren't even together." Anymore, her brain sings.

"It ends business calls," Christina adjusts her circle shades her tone dropping, "besides I recall you moaning in my ear how you wanted to take my last name a few times."

Ruby rolls her eyes and playfully slaps the arm of the taller woman. Christina mouths ouch but smiles.

"You can't just show up to my job Christina," Ruby hushes and steps away from the woman, "Also you are too close." Not close enough they both think simultaneously.

Christina drops her gaze down and up Ruby. Her eyes sweep as she says, "I come with a purpose other than watching you in this dress I promise."

"And that is," Ruby hums, folding her hands together. Of course, this woman came with a motive.

Christina shakes a hidden blood red vial in her hand and Ruby recoils her body.

"Oh, hell no," Ruby throws her hands up but hushes her word loudly, "wait you went home?"

"Maybe and a favor please," Christina asks sincerely, dropping the hand holding the vial back to her side.

"I don't even know who's in that bottle," Ruby hushes.

Christina shrugs, " A gift."

Ruby has her answer out before Christina can say anything else. "No, definitely not with your vague ass."

"An ass you love for some reason," Christina looks down Ruby's top over her nose, it warrants her another playful slap. Ruby does enjoy watching the other woman make her breakfast in nothing but a robe or one of William's button ups. Christina doesn't stop looking though she just adjusts her glasses so it's even less obvious that her eyes are imagining x-ray vision.

"Maybe if you would stop looking at my tits Christina for 5 minutes then you'll get an answer. Maybe I will say yes, and we can all go back to work. I'm sure JJ has some news on fancy real estate ventures." Ruby says but her smile is playful. She actually thought Christina's cover of real estate was smart to explain an overabundance of wealth. You can only say you inherited wealth so much.

"I can be quick," Christina whispers under her breath drawing her gaze from Ruby's body to her lips. Ruby glares at her, but she sees the bit of smolder in her ex's eyes. Christina smiles coyly at least the absolute knock out of a woman was considering it. She did come here with a purpose though. 

Christina steps closer to Ruby, her voice quiet, "You're right but please, this is important. I need you to charm your way into a room, say a little spell for me, and then I will take care of the rest." Christina can hear the urgency in her own voice as she whispers. 

Ruby steps closer and covers Christina's hand pulling it to her hip. She uses the gesture to slip the vile into her pocket but doesn't move Christina's hand. It looks like a close hug between long distant old friends.

"What do I get out of this," Ruby asks in the blonde’s ear before stepping back slightly. 

Christina pats Ruby's hip before recrossing her arms and stepping back. An exchange was fair, but what would Ruby want that she could provide. She thinks for a bit and pushes a hand through her hair.

"You'll be a redhead and I can take care of your needs until you leave California." Christina planned on leaving after this task was finished with, but what was a few more days.

"You sure that's not just for you," Ruby raises a brow.

Christina smiles, "I didn't just mean those needs. I meant the ones that keep providing a certain anonymity." 

She does know what that chiseled dimpled chin is talking about. The dwindling bottles of potion that sat in her suitcase. Ruby still used Dell's body on occasion to enjoy a show or go grocery shopping. On the east coast people rarely cared that you were "famous" someone might ask for a photo but that was it. The Midwest was very similar, but the west coast was intense. She completely understood why her label has been pushing for her to move at least part time, but it was just not for her. Dell did not draw a lot of attention and gave her the freedom to be. It was ironic how before Dell was a key to privilege and now the woman's skin provided her freedoms.

"A red head?" Ruby asks. Christina nods.

Ruby turns away from Christina and then back, "Text me the details," she lowers her voice, "We both know you wouldn't be quick enough ole greedy ass." She saunters off purposefully with more swing to her hips. The out loud chuckle from Christina makes her smile as she walks back to her crew. She stops by her bag to drop off the vial before getting an outfit change and landing in a makeup chair. The essence that is Christina Braithwhite has left the immediate set by the time she's returned to her seat. The effects of the unexpected visit still making her glow with intention. She is met with shocked or inquisitive stares when she's sat down. 

Ruby shrugs, "What?"

"Girl!" Nakia exclaims.

"What," Ruby feigns ignorance.

Samuel chuckles to himself at the short exchange.

"First you didn't even mention you liked women and now you don't mention you have a fine ass girlfriend," Nakia says. She starts working on refreshing Ruby's hair.

"Oh, she is not my girlfriend." There is an emphasis on not. "She is just a girl and a friend. You know why I'm private," Ruby directs her words to Nakia," because people are nosy."

"What happened to the foine tall white boy," Samuel says, pulling out a palette to retouch her eye makeup.

Ruby closes her eyes as Nakia sprays a leave-in spray. When the spritz stops she says, "Me and William actually broke up."

Samuel shoots her a sad look that she cannot see. He remembers just how happy she was when William picked her up at the end of tour. How Ruby would laugh while on FaceTime with Malibu Ken. It was refreshing from the coldness most people had by the middle of the tour.

"Mmmhmm 'friend'," Nakia says while making air quotes and then continues. "The way she looks at you is sinful. You're telling me you aren't indulging in any milk anymore."

Ruby shakes her head, "I don't have time for all of that and I'm lactose intolerant."

"So…. who is leaving hickies on your neck all of a sudden?" Samuel remembers the foundation he used to cover up purple marks on Ruby's neck.

Ruby grabs her drink from the beauty shelf and sips from her straw. She hums after a refreshing sound, "A friend."

Samuel grabs his brushes and laughs out, "I guess someone's gonna need some Lactaid hunny."

*******

_You slowly enter,_

_'Cause you know my room_

_And then crawl your knees off_

_Before you shake my tomb._

Christina can't lie, she loves hearing others scream or moan her praises. There is something that is obscene about her name rolling off someone's tongue though. It can be low or high but it's like they have bitten into a sour fruit of sin but revel in its delight. Whether her hips are bringing someone to their climax or her tongue it is galvanizing.

_You enter slowly_

_You know my room_

_You crawl your knees off_

_And then you shake my tomb._

Symbols turn into clicking and a deep bass line. The speakers in the ceiling vibrating around the room.

Her ego is almost as big as her sense of pride. They both are milked in the best ways. It could be a well-informed conversation with a peer or a student. It makes her swell seeing young full of themselves arrogant boys axed at the ankles by knowledge. Her knowledge. She knows her pupils dilate when a babbling old man steers the conversation knowing he has been bested. Chess games of the mind fill her with an overflow of elation. Hunting on cocky bratty flesh that whine her praises after denying them is mad ecstasy. Naked heels dig into her spine that she knows is covered in sweat. It's the way they don't expect it from her, the earth-shattering ruining that she creates. Whether it is making them pawns feel incredibly small or having them at her will. She grips and pulls the running body back to her clutches.

_Please don't find me rude_

_But I don't eat fast food_

_So don't run too fast._

She is the predator even with prey bigger and stronger than her. The wolf to Ruby's elk, strong enough to slam into a car with no scratches but resigned to her bite. A slick tongue behind sharp teeth and a calculated bark. She knows her teeth sink deep into that woman and the restraint she holds. Not the restraint Christina has to keep from devouring the woman whole, but the metaphorical sharp pronged collar attached to her throat. The wrong move and her leash is tugged until her slack wondering jaw is straightened. Ruby is the metal pin in her spine that goes off walking through security.

_You know that you're the one that's terrified._

It's the gnashing of teeth and no fight for dominance that sends her. The pride swells in her belly and extends to her limbs as her fingers move quicker. Everyone else in comparison to the woman she's so fondly taken to are mere rabbits. The tightening and rushing of warmth that her nails dig into. Others are game that she entertains to satiate a growing hunger. A hunger that follows her in every decade she is flung into. Every warm bed pawn, supernatural or not, wants to be a bishop instead of the king. To her they were still worthless no matter the title or ranks they held in the order of Adam or outside of it.

When Christina gets a text or sign from her, she knows she will make an excuse to meet her needs. Her....Ruby a queen on her own chess board. Christina will kneel at Ruby's thighs ravenous knowing she will leave them trembling lips wet with regret. Her body still yearns to remain full in every sense. It is pathetic and yet she doesn't care. She does not care because somehow a woman who has everyone's eyes on them still calls her to satisfy every desire.

"Chris....tina!"

A loud warm moan cuts through the music followed by small gasps but Christina doesn't stop. Gasps from the woman at her fingertips could be mistakenly taken for the growl like moans coming from herself. Moans that she exhales inside of a thigh that is gripped like a flotation device. Dusty tan fingers dig into a matching stomach tempting to stop her until they disappear back upwards. Upwards to cup perfection and never cover the lispy echoes of her name. In and out of the shuddering mess of waves that press up against the shore of her fingers. 

_...spinning, I'm spinning, I'm spinning you up. I'm spinning, I'm spinning, I'm spinning you up._

Heat rushes to her shoulders and her teeth bite into flesh. Hard. A yelp turns into a devilish laugh and Christina sighs, how can something so sinister feel so heavenly. Waves turn into a rapid river that she is riding and coating until it encases her. Drowns her senses until Christina resurfaces to the gaze of a wolf. A gaze that is green with eyes that look bronze in the wrong light and darker in the worst of it. 

_You know that you're the one, that's terrified_

Aleja is a rook that is slowly chiseling herself into a queen. More accurately Aleja is a queen piece that has been whittled into a rook by her father. Samuel had attempted to do the same to her, but he never succeeded. That is where they differed but Aleja was determined to be a victim no more. Christina was willing to help......with conditions of course, like using Aleja's face. The woman laughed when Christina asked her while ripping at stockings but was dead panned in agreeance.

A breathy echo comes from the speakers, _"You breathed, then you stopped. I breathed, then dried you off."_

Aleja was impartial to it as she was to many of the conditions of life. She was comfortable on this mountain side in white box. A very expensive white modern box that retained the warmth of an islander’s home. Comfort was nice until it became stagnation and that is what led two old friends back to one another. Christina sighs as Aleja starts suckling on her own fingers. Fingers dipped in Christina's orgasm. The blond lays next to Aleja her chest heaving for air.

"Ella lo hará?" Aleja asks.

Christina closes her eyes and licks her lip, "She will."

*****

Ruby laughs a laugh that is not hers into the crowd of men. They flock around her like a gaggling group of geese. She is telling an exaggerated story of her own truths. They are just funnier coming from the white red head she appears to them as. Christina did good, really good with this body. So good that Ruby decided she would not be asking how Christina got the body. If she had to be someone else, this mask got no complaints.

She snuck the spell into a random man's ear and then into the ear of her target long ago. This was all an act so her imminent exit was not so abrupt. A man laughs out, "Oh Joanna I have to tell this story to someone else." She watches him walk off to another group of boring yes men. When she looks back, she watches a dark lip smile at her from a face she has seen all week. Those brownish green eyes are weighing down on her. Everything about this face she knew as a mirage was too real. Too lively, too tan, too slick with a brief glance away and then back. Too much of their own person and nothing like Christina.

This was the woman whose face Christina wore, and she was one of the very few other women at this private event. A private order event, Ruby did not stay long enough to get the woman's name or see her again. She left when she could, and texted Christina finished. Then she went home and promised herself she would not see Christina before she left that weekend. She would let the woman know she had left, but that was all and that is exactly what Ruby did.

******

The flight home is awful for someone who doesn't get flight sickness and she is in agony. Her nausea is worse as the plane encounters turbulence from wind. Ruby feels her stomach flip and she has to remind herself her dream with William wasn't real. Real sex with her ex was Christina pressed against her body for a few nights of her trip. A woman's body? No, just Christina's body. This one can’t get her pregnant. William was just a bloody horror dream.

Before Christina though....

She is not pregnant; she drinks her complimentary Delta ginger ale. Ruby erases the thought from her mind. Yet, her stomach is still doing cartwheels for 4 hours. She greets her family with open arms, but she denies all comfort food. They still beg to go out to eat and she agrees even though it will be on her dime. The whiteboard of her brain rescribbles pregnancy. Ruby erases it again until her brain is clean. Then she orders something with too much flavor and layers.

She is not pregnant; she just gets sick in a very clean toilet. A public restroom and pretends she's okay when Dee comes to check on her. Leti stops at Walgreens with a judgmental but intrigued eye the entire time. Ruby buys a test and sits in Leti's bathroom. They wait together with freshly washed hands. Leti asks her what she would name the baby if there was one.

Ruby shrugs and answers, "probably something traditional after the weekday." 

A timer goes off on her phone.

3 minutes. To be sure, clear blue is straightforward.

...

.....

....... 

.......... They hold their breaths as she flips the test over.

She is not pregnant. They both exhale and Leti pats her on the back.

Relieved Ruby checks her phone notifications and Leti goes for a bottle of wine. Ruby has had an unread message since she boarded the plane. She doesn't want to read its contents of half-truths. She would much rather groveling excuses and Christina doesn't do excuses. Christina lies to her like an open face sandwich marketed as rye but is pumpernickel. A lunch of omissions of the truth but vague enough to get the point. 

She opens the app and scans past "you are assuming the worst", "I won't apologize", and an "I promise." Ruby doesn't care about that right now, not really. The anger she had long dissipated in an upset stomach and pregnancy nerves. Thank God, whomever she is, that she is not pregnant. Christina would have understood, right.... Ruby looks herself in the mirror.

"Why does that matter," she mouths to herself. They aren't together with a vague distant chance of ever being anything more than fuck buddies up in smoke.

**Ruby: I'm home safe.**

**Christina: Thankyou for letting me know and thanks for the favor**

**Ruby: You're welcome, I saw your new face.**

**Christina: I know she told me, are we okay?**

**Ruby: She's pretty. You lied.**

**Christina: She is, you never asked. Are you busy?**

Ruby hears her name being called and throws the plastic stick in the trash. She quickly texts back and then forgets her phone exists.

**Ruby: I am.**

*******

**Halloween**

Ruby drinks the last drops of dark red wine in her glass. It fits her vampire queen costume very well, as she waits for another knock or doorbell ring. Everyone else at the party is distracted by music, alcohol, and conversations. The kids have been ushered off to trick or treat with a group of adults. 

_"We're not in love, but I'll make love to you,_

_When you're not here I'll save some for you,_

_I'm not him but I'll mean something to you."_

Nikes by Frank Ocean plays in her head when she should be paying attention to this man. Jarrell had swooped in when she looked bored on door duty. He is young and dashing but for some reason he is sweet on her. A friend of one of the boarders in Leti’s home who did not bring up her fame. He just treated her like a person and now he was flirting. A good thing was that he offered to take turns with her handing out candy. Oh, and he also brought her a holiday themed adult drink without asking. They started a conversation that was dry on her end, but he seemed to enjoy it. Ruby laughs at his jokes but they aren't funny. When she isn't tuning in to him or the doorbell, she is in her head listening to Blonde.

Christina lets herself inside the house through the front door. She figured no one would be guarding it from the loud music inside the house. There are guests walking around the back end of the house, but she doesn't follow. If she does, she knows she will encounter Montrose and his illegal moonshine business. Then she would have to pay him off to keep his mouth shut. She only came by for a few papers she needed in the house.

Christina enters the house in a thrown together outfit that someone might yell "Sherlock" at. It was not a costume, just her clothing from her latest trip. Titus had beckoned her to Victorian England with him on another magical venture. She walks past the living room entry quickly. Only stopping for a drunken man stumbling in her way. Christina glances to the party and as she people watches then her eyes go wide. On the couch she spent last Christmas falling in adoration of a puppy named Shoggo there was Ruby. But the woman who had ghosted her in California was with a man and laughing. She feels jealousy creeping onto her back like the devil on her right shoulder.

It tells her to go over there and rip his head from his shoulders. It tells her to tighten his shoelaces. It tells her to pull out one of the many hidden revolvers in the wall and threaten him off her woman. It tells her to not threaten him but kill him right there for trying to sit in a space reserved for her. Then she remembers Ruby is not hers and that is of her own doing. Christina cracks her thumb in annoyance and turns on her boot heels back to the hallway.

She gets to the basement door and has her hand on the handle. A heavy hand grips her shoulder before she notices it's there. It turns her and she sighs in relief.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hello cousin," Christina says but doesn't relax.

Tic is cautious but hugs her.

Christina hugs back.

"What brings you back here, Ruby? You want me to…" He starts and she shakes her head no.

"No. No. I think she's well occupied," Christina straightens up, "I just needed something from Hiram's files."

"Well let me hurry you to the basement before Leti sees you," he says, putting a hand on the door lock.

Christina raises her brow, "She's upset I left?" 

Leti shakes his head and chuckles, "No, upset you have her sister round here singing the blues again."

"Does she at least sound good?" Christina looks at the closed door quickly. 

"Always," Tic unlocks the dead bolt on the basement door and scurries in after his cousin. They catch up, he shows her new photos of George, she details him on the exact details of the death of Caesar. It's nice and he helps her find the books she is looking for. He gets his own unhappiness off his chest and talks to her about how he may still be in love with Ji-Ah. She questions how that is going to work since he is "betrothed" to Leti, he says he doesn't know. Christina lets him expose his emotional affair that both women are unaware of. She listens and doesn't judge him. Tic hugs her tight in an awkward hug that is unnatural for them. He leaves her in the basement alone to translate and copy the words into a small notebook. He promises to keep people away as she copies Hiram's notebook.

"Yes Leti. I will grab the....," Ruby feels her voice pulled away from her, "right film."

Ruby holds onto the stair railing even though she is standing on the floor. "What are you doing here?"

Christina hears her approach but doesn't react. 

"So, you just going to ignore me." Ruby almost yells but remembers her sister is having a party upstairs. "Of course, fucking magic its always fucking magic," Ruby mumbles.

Christina keeps looking at Hiram's chicken scratch and ignores the other woman in the dim basement. Weren't they on bad grounds and wasn't she being given the silent treatment, she thinks to herself. So why should she answer.

"Know what let me get this film for Leti before you ruin my good mood. Can't even say hello just work work work," Ruby walks in a huff to the darkroom.

"You sure did seem in a good mood." Christina finally breaks her.

"So now you talk," Ruby raises her hand to shake it in frustration but clenches it. She balls her fist and shakes her head continuing walking into her sister's dark room. Ruby searches for a box labeled Portra and grabs two plastic canisters. The sound of a pen scribbling and scratching on paper is still coming from the other room. Ruby turns out the darkroom light and pockets the film in her vampiric dress pocket.

"What's the phrase, 'if you have nothing nice to say keep it to yourself'," Christina says. Her head is still leaning towards the book as she copies Hiram's words on the human anatomy.

"Are you...upset with me." Ruby watches the other woman continue her note taking with just an exhale of response. Ruby scoffs," FOR WHAT! I am not the one who is on a field trip indefinitely and fucking some woman behind my back. I'm the one who gets to be mad at you."

"You act like I never sacrificed anything for you and you never asked if I was seeing anyone else." Christina says coldly, continuing flipping through fragile yellow pages. 

Ruby mouths wow.

Christina clicks her pen but doesn't move from her position. She fixes her eyes on the phrase 'Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.' It's a quote from H.G Wells and she wonders why it's here, taped over the outline for a spell. A tapping heel signals her she needs to say something and so she does. Christina turns in the stool she is sat on and stares Ruby down. 

Her pen in hand she says with a raised brow, "Planning dates in the cover of night so we didn't get caught by an invisible eye. Pretending that I'm not thinking about kissing you in public. Fuck, letting go of you and your hand because someone walks in the room. Or perhaps I sacrificed my dignity by watching you jump from my hands because you are afraid someone would see you enjoying the company of another woman. Well not even a woman because you are out now.... right. So maybe it was just me."

Ruby clicks her tongue and steps towards Christina. Her voice is hushed, "You know I had to be careful because of my label and don't act brand new. You are the one who doesn't like PDA."

"That was before you even got signed by Sony Ruby. Yes, eventually you loved holding my hand everywhere but then you got an opportunity and I became your dirty secret. I'm not saying I'm not okay with our choices just that it stung," Christina shakes her head as she turns. She avoids Ruby's eyes and the way those brown orbs roll when she continues to herself, "It stings seeing you able to flaunt yourself in public with men."

Ruby feels a lightbulb go off leaning in just to hear Christina's silent admission. "God, you get so self-deprecating when you're jealous," Ruby turns to walk up the stairs. "Bring your ass upstairs then since it stings so bad and keep me company if you really care."

Christina waves Ruby off but doesn't hear the steps creak with ascension. She doesn't feel Ruby's eyes and clicks her pen to continue writing. Titus needed these pages for some concoction and if she didn't get them. She thinks how he would come himself with words towards her, she doubles back on the thought. Words like that towards this family that might get the old man murdered. She was his way "in" the house, and she wanted to keep as much distance between Titus and Tic.

"Leti will kill me if she sees me," Christina continues writing out long words. Still nothing has shifted, and she considers looking back to the woman. But she doesn't want to catch eyes that might seem sad or sappy or anything that would force her away from work. Ruby pulls that move every finals week and Christina always has to email her students that their papers would be graded the next day.

"Christina," Ruby clears her throat and Christina straightens her head a bit. Ruby blinks away tears, she just wants this woman to come upstairs and join her family. She wants this woman to be the one that is making her laugh over Halloween themed drinks. Ruby watches Christina adjust her bracelet and lean over her shoulder. There is a loud menagerie of footsteps above and children's laughter. George must be back; her sister will want this film now, Ruby thinks. "I'll let you get back to it before she kills me if she is not being able to take George's 3000th photo."

Christina looks away as the stairs creak, "See you."

*******

"Can we sing that together," Leti asks, watching her sister start to play chords to her phone. Ruby quiets her strings and swallows the sting of heart burn in her chest. She glances away from her Instagram live feed to look at her sister. The lives were random but usually announced to her socials, so she has a decent viewing. Ruby sucks her teeth at the site of her sister, Leti the showstopper and activist. Leti who looks like a million dollars ready for the spotlight, even with slightly puffy and pink tinged eyes. Tic had left for another work trip for The Guide, the fight was bad.

"Come onnnnn. It is a classic and I promise to not steal your," Leti leans off the doorway and walks into the room and shimmies her hips, "thunder."

Ruby deadpans a stare to the camera as Leti shimmies her way onto the love seat. Her baby sister was not going to stick to that even if she tried. Their momma raised two giant stars and never taught them how to live in the same sky. A relationship built on blood, broken promises with shifty communication, grief, and a lot of honest love. Ruby found it hard to be selfish with Leti, but that was never reciprocated. Yes, it bothers her. She came to her old bedroom in Leti's house to not be interrupted by noise or noisy little sisters. It has not worked, Ruby sighs and moves over.

"You all meet my little sist...," Ruby gets cut off. She rolls her eyes, she really had to be nice to this woman.

Leti breaks in, "Hi y'all, I'm Letitia Lewis nice to finally be here in person." Her wide smile breaks when she notices Ruby's annoyed face. She mouths sorry. Ruby shakes her head and chuckles at the comments of 'def act like sisters'.

"This is an oldie," Ruby plucks a few strings, "Leti is gonna alternate verses since she wants to be on her so bad." 

Leti chuckles to the viewers but hums through her teeth, "Well then."

Ruby sings out, " _Daydreamin' and I'm thinkin' of you, Daydreamin' and I'm thinkin' of you, Daydreamin' and I'm thinkin' of you, Daydreamin' and I'm thinkin' of you. Look at my love blowing away...."_ Ruby's voice rasps at the last line but she continues to play.

The Guide was Tic's small family owned black entertainment magazine that kept a steady stream of income. Not income just for his house, but for Hippolyta and Dee's, and it took priority over her sister at times. Far too many times in Ruby's opinion, but she keeps her thoughts to herself. Work and magic entice his cousin the same way, so she has no room to judge. She does know the frustration her sister has tinged around her eyes very well. He left earlier in the day on an "overnight" and Ruby heard the fall out.

Leti starts low and lets her voice build, " _He's the kind of guy that would say, Hey, baby let's get away. Let's go some place, huh. Where, I don't care. He's the kind of guy that you give your everything."_

A flurry of hearts fills the screen and Leti smiles with her dimple.

_"You trust your heart, share all of your love. Till death do you part."_ Leti sings while fiddling with the engagement ring on her finger and Ruby notices.

Ruby spent the morning distracting her nephew from loud cussing and fighting with his toys. Boarders stayed out of the way of the couple arguing openly, Ruby wanted to step in but stopped herself. George needed to be kept busy in his room, so she went on asking him what he wanted to be for next Halloween. He was eager with ideas gathered from the recently passed holiday. After some quiet settled into the house, Tic came to greet them both goodbye. He asked her to take care of all of them in a joking manner, but she knows there is truth to his humor.

Ruby takes over for the verse , _"And when he's lonesome and feelin' love starved. I'll be there to feed it, I'm lovin him a little bit more each day. Turns me right on when I hear him say...."_

Letitia has heard her older sister working out the melody of this song in the weeks since Christina left, came back, and then left again. Leti kept telling Ruby to stop writing or singing such sad songs in the weeks after their breakup. Crazy by Patsy Cline and Blue on Blue by Bobby Vinton rotated on a speaker from Ruby's guest room since Ruby's arrival in the beginning of October. In Leti's words, "You sitting round here playing all that is just making yourself worse."

Leti was getting tired of going over that big old house and cleaning out the sad for weeks now. The house was not messy, just untidy, her sister kept a clean house always. They were raised by the same mother after all. As October dragged slowly, the home went from cold and hopeful to sad and cold. So, Leti would show up unannounced to open up the windows and curtains for light. Fill the air with cleansing smoke and lavender spritz until it felt lived in. Her feet graced the wooden floors because of her secret weapon, George. 

She would just stop by the richer North side pretending her son just missed Shoggo. Ruby offered for her to just take the dog off her hands and George was adamant she kept him. His chubby cheeks and face twisting into sadness. Every time his aunt spoke about anything dealing with Christina, she made it seem like Christina was never coming back. He did not like that, a little voice told Ruby, "No he's yours. You gave him to Tina 'member."

Her sister was doing really well before her trip to the West. Leti didn't hear sad songs being written or even sad mentions of Christina in contempt. Even after the trip, Ruby seemed ok. Leti curses herself for not noticing the gifts that spelled out Braithwhite so clearly. A brand new sparkly red guitar with a custom guitar strap, dark hickies on Ruby's neck, and Ruby was glowing all the way through October 31st. Her skin had been even more radiant than usual. Leti just figured it was from whoever had caused the pregnancy scare, not Christina Braithwhite. Eventually Ruby did tell her the half-truth from Leti's constant nagging. The night Ruby got confirmation that she was not pregnant they sat, and Ruby confessed. She told Leti that Christina came back and that they had hooked up. She left out the hookups that predated Christina because if Christina did not know then neither did anyone else. 

Ruby had her reasons and excuses for why she kept their family from knowing. Which did feel like a back handed slap even if it was well meaning. It was a cautionary move yes, but to not tell at least George his cautious cousin was alive, Leti couldn't help but call her sister selfish. Her sister did not deny that she wanted time with Christina all to herself. Ruby joked that, "Tic saved gas by not driving all the way to LA so you could beat her skinny ass." By the time they even knew Christina was around she was already gone. Too far for Letitia to smack her or temporarily disarm her. Shadow work was Leti's other hobby in her free time. The practice had taught her a bit about binding one's powers.

Christina gave Leti a lecture about God in the past. After communion Sunday, which everyone was shocked she even attended. The lecture came after an "incorrect" sermon by the preacher. Christina dead panning about how God was both the light in the world and the dark. Heaven and hell all at once. It inspired Leti to marry her faith and her practice, for her own sanity. Instead of fighting them they could both give her protection.

She gave up on protecting Atticus long ago because no matter how much she tried he was still self-centered. He made things seem to be about others, when he was focused on himself. If it wasn't the magazine, their family, or their small Chicago order he would make himself the center of his problems. Hence why he chose to run on trips "for the guide" when he was needed at home.

Leti grumbled about how stupid Ruby was for taking Braithwhite back even though Ruby assured her she had not. Leti just instantly knew something was off with her sister. Christina was gone, but when was she ever back. It just had to be something else because after Halloween Ruby was sulking again. The definitive moment was when Leti and Ruby cooked a Sunday dinner together. Ruby was cutting garlic and humming that song again. Leti laughed out loud when Ruby asked if she could have her old room for a little bit. She thought her older sister was joking.

_"I wanna be what he wants when he wants it, And whenever he needs it."_

Ruby was not kidding with her sister in the slightest. A week after her lapse of strength and she was still sleeping in the 2nd largest room of the mansion. Leti dug a little into the gossip of the Southside wanting a distraction from her man and his cousin. (Aka, she went to get her hair done.) A familiar name shocked her as it made rounds across the salon. Digging led her back to U Chicago where she quickly found out about the rumors of Christina's work habits. It could be damaging, if true. Having sexual affairs with students was out of character for Christina, but Leti disliked her enough to believe it.

Tic kept telling her to not tell Ruby but based on the sadness in her sister's presence she figures Ruby already knew. Maybe she knew more than them both based on the songs she kept playing. From what Leti could gather a few students former and current caught wind of a U Chicago grad who was spending a certain professor's "emergency sabbatical" with said professor. Then an Instagram account was found and the flood gates were open. Professors, students, and peers had started stalking the Instagram of Aleja Sariol. Leti could not find out much on the woman but she was quick before the account went private to follow. Screenshot after another she started collecting evidence to show Ruby.

Her phone's photo gallery was full of Ms. Sariol and Christina looking very friendly. The most traction was a distanced lounging on a patio, a selfie, and even photos of just Christina in a home. A very.......rich home. Even if Ruby already knew, Leti hoped the evidence would be enough to push her sister to move on. Move on in a different way than she has been. Leaving the house late at night or never coming home. Brown bags labeled wine and spirits filling her disposal units along with empty bottles. If this got any worse, she was going to ask Montrose for his support group information.

Leti was very upset that, reportedly, Christina was transferring to California to be with her former student lover surfaced. If Christina had been two timing her sister, she was going to burn down the woman's house. Also, how could she just leave them, leave George with such an empty goodbye. Days of sitting in the campus library provided hearsay that Christina has been with other students. Mainly women being seduced by the older woman's charms, but the woman had a gender non-specific magnetism. Until she got bored of them, it did not sound like Christina, but it did sound like William.

An unlisted number has called the house every Saturday since Halloween and after the third ring Tic is answering in his study. The door shut upon a hello into the receiver. Cousins. Their relationship was private, focused around magic and their bloodline. From what Leti did see Christina naturally took the role of elder to Atticus. Atticus wasn't keen on his role, but he was a good soldier and respected his chain of command.

One rainy Saturday night the conversation between the two is going on for hours and Atticus' door is cracked. Leti is carrying a fast-asleep George to his bed when she notices the door. After tucking their son into bed, she lingers outside of the office door. She listens as her fiancé does his best at consoling the caller.

Tic whisper shouts into the receiver, "I know you, I know. Why would they...

oh so she…Gotcha." There is a pause and harrumphs to signal he is listening. Leti leans closer to the door frame from the wall adjacent.

"If she knows you well enough, she won't believe it. Christina, stop. Cool down it'll sort itself out just talk to your.... great what did she say. So, you have nothing to.... are you really transferring?" Tic sounds sad and angry at his last question but in a few moments Leti listens to him start talking again. 

Tic groans, "Are you crying come on.......fine I will try but you know how Ruby is. Yea, just like her sister. We can talk about that when you visit in winter. I'm not like you.... sorry."

Leti raises her brow, because if they were talking about what she thought they were she would send his ass back to Florida with his cheap ass ring.

Leti hears his wooden chair squeak and she takes a step backwards. Then there is a drawer opening and closing. Tic mumbles uh huh while she hears a pen scribbling. "Maybe you should stop drinking for the night. Thank you be safe, yeah. Night Christina."

Tic sighs. Leti hears him hang up and cautiously walks back downstairs.

"Can you tell Ruby to answer Christina please?" Tic asks her when he finally curls against her body for the night. It sounds like a plea to pardon him from jail.

Leti tries to a few days after talking with Tic. She asks her sister about it even though he doesn't want her sister to. Leti always loved the way Christina loved Ruby, it was genuine, just not that the white witch was her sister's lover. When Ruby comes down from her room and the house is empty minus George, Leti does try. Her sister was just completely against it.

"No, fuck her," Ruby looked offended as she crossed her knees. "I am not about to hold her hand through this because you know how she gets."

"You mean how you let her get, “Leti mums tucking her legs under her. Then she settles into the couch and rests a hand on Ruby's arm. She questions, "She probably didn't....do it...right?"

Ruby looked at the ceiling and then back to her sister. Deep in her core she knew Christina better than most but even if she didn't there was no way in hell that woman lowered her standards. "I know she better not have or else I will empty out that estate so fast. It doesn't sound like her though she thinks undergrads are impetuous, so does William. Aleja though, I knew...."

"WHAT?" Leti shouted and Ruby glared at her sister through a watery gaze.

Ruby shook her hands, "Leti. I know you saw me liking that woman's photos because I saw you liking them too. I just did not know she was a former student of Christina’s, but I knew they were..." She sighs, "are something."

Leti grinned, she had noticed her sisters lurking. "Okay yes, but you didn't confront her," Leti says in shock because Ruby normally would have been blunt as a nail. 

"I followed Aleja on Instagram before everything came out. Just to see who the new.... woman was in her life," Ruby confesses with a shrug. Ruby shakes her hands; she honestly didn't know why she was acting so out of character. Why, this woman affected her so, but maybe it was because Christina was so unaffected by her. Her words were always met with little reaction or an intense passion. Just like Halloween, Christina held in her own feelings until they bubbled over. Little gasps of frustration came out in a raised voice but that was all.

Ruby just wanted Christina to be upset as she was. Show her as much as she spoke that she cared and missed her. Eventually her actions would match her words, but Ruby was tired of waiting dammit. She wanted the woman to be lovesick, heartbroken, and weeping over her.

Leti shook her head, "So what now, do you plan to just cry and bawl all day over her." Leti whispered, "cause it's getting kind of old."

"I'm not sad about her, I am grieving what I had with her. It is over I have to end it completely," Ruby let out in her words in an exhale.

"Well I think it has finally hit her too since she keeps calling Tic," Leti leaned in to tell her sister.

Ruby rose her brow, "Oh really?"

"For a premier," Leti said with a French accent, " time traveling witch with no feelings, she sure does sound like she needs some Kleenex or someone else to call besides my husband."

"Did I miss the wedding," Ruby said plainly, it is a statement. Leti just rolls her eyes.

"She has someone else now remember." Ruby glared out the windows, Leti held her sister's arm in comfort. 

"But....is she okay." Ruby whispered. She wants to know she really does, but she can't push herself to answer the few texts she has gotten or the many missed calls. She wants to but it is hard enough dealing with a breakup. Now she blames herself for what Christina said to her on Halloween and the drama currently steeping the woman. If they got caught it especially wouldn't look good in the eyes of the public. Ruby was not trying to get "cancelled" by black Twitter for capping for some white woman.

Leti shrugged, "I don't know and you think Aaliyah is a good listener?" Ruby laughed.

"It's Aleja," Ruby pulled her phone from her pocket and held it. "I should not do this."

"You shouldn't," Leti hoped to sway her sister away from the devil herself. "Where is she anyway?"

Leti has so many questions and Ruby wonders if Leti would rather call Christina herself. "On paper, California but actively I'm not sure." Ruby has no clue where Christina is, but she guesses it is probably somewhere nice and expensive.

"Will she even respond then?" Leti asked another question and Ruby shrugged, drying her own tears. "So, what is the point," Leti huffed.

Ruby opened her messages, "I don't know."

In a warm room with November glow both sisters harmonize, _" Thinking of you. Daydreaming. Daydreaming."_

Over a week ago Ruby types out a message in a bottle and hits send.

**Are you okay?**

*******

_Witch witch you're a witch!_

_Each night before you go to bed my baby whisper a little prayer for me, my baby._

_Sinner!_

_And how can you mend a broken heart?_

_Witch witch you're a witch!_

_Evil!_

_You have left me and winter continues cold._

_Witch witch you're a witch!_

**Fall of 1698**

Those were the last words she heard as the weight attached to her dragged her down to the depths of a Salem River. It was a mix of colonizers as stupid as the U Chicago community and the songs she has been binge drinking to for weeks. Her career was in jeopardy and Ruby had ignored her for days. She only gets reception every so often in between visits to the 1700s. Her great great great (cousin?) grandfather insisted they go further back in time for a cure to disease.

Titus was actually concerned, a new first time, about her wellbeing. He caught her laying on the ground face down with her nose buried in a silky fabric. A silk pillowcase that she wafted in Ruby's perfume and scent, a comfort blanket that made her cry even harder. So what, she keeps a travel size of Ruby's perfume in her luggage. It is not any more creepy than Ruby still sleeping in _her_ alma mater and worn button down shirts. They would both move on, Christina knew it would happen. From Tic’s weekly check-ins Ruby was more than busy with work and things that pokes at a bear named jealousy. 

Poking the bear came out in destruction or an open bottle of wine sitting on the old man's precious imported rug. Christina was surprised he asked if she was okay instead of cursing her about the wine.

The shitty non-existent cell service keeps her from answering the only text she has received. Calls were easier but if she heard Ruby's voice she would run from Titus. Run until she was able to collapse in that woman's arms. Her pride though.... would deny her of that freedom. So, much to learn and Titus would be less privy to her toying with the time machine if she did not help him. She settled with just letting Tic hear her sadness pour out in glass after glass. 

**Are u ok?**

It was a little bit of contact, but it reduced her self-loathing hours. Pulling her out of a cloud of failure to realize she had very little to rectify. A simple denouncement of the claims about her abuse of power with proof would solve that. Aleja would help her because not only was she a grown ass woman she was also never Christina's student. Someone had flubbed and erased that their mutual link was a professor at U Chicago that Christina shadowed before taking the position over two years ago. Aleja was that professor's graduate student and she came on to Christina after the fact.

No rules were broken and nothing physical occurred between them until this "sabbatical". Single adult women doing single adult things and people misconstrued that friendship. Christina returned from a scouting trip 3 weeks had passed for her. For Ruby that would be just a few days and Christina finally got a chance to respond. 

They started communicating again albeit difficult with ever changing time zones. It was a game of text tag, but they both grew more comfortable. Comfortable enough that Ruby asked Christina to meet her at a bar with a date and time. Christina had not given her an answer, but she figured Ruby left it as an open invite. Still, at this rate after being chased by a mob and water tried, she was looking like a no call, no show.

"Fucking Titus," Christina curses his name. He used her as a scapegoat while he escaped with her ancestors' DNA. It wasn't the first time he left her with a mess to clean up and she knows it won't be the last. The DNA was a lock of hair from one Anabelle Braithwhite, a widow with no name but her own. This entire time her "family" has lied to her about their magical roots. All the men in her family told her magic came from men, strong and sturdy. Strong and sturdy she hears in her father’s voice. 

Liars all of them insured to their own masculinity so much so they used magic to buy themselves slaves instead of doing the hard work. Liars who erased history to stroke their egos. Magic didn't come from them; it came from a widowed mother that Christina gladly stepped in to save from death. Her several great grandmothers looked a little like her, and her actions wouldn't change history, this was already a part of it. The story is one Titus quickly mentioned before he ran off to make sure the portal was still open. Giving her very little time to save the woman and save herself. 

He didn't even wish her luck before a group of men dragged her from a jail cell. They tried to torture her with pain and instruments of conviction. A group of woman voices shrill quoted so many Bible verses that Christina wanted to never hear or see another church sermon again. The burning was a pretty close call, the smell of her skin burning, healing, and burning sent her into shock. But her heart never gave out as she screamed in agony until the fires burnt themselves out. Her naked body shivered under scared onlookers. The black charred flesh falling off to reveal raw fresh pale skin. Christina laughed, still holding the stake because Ruby would have loved that nuance. 

Laughter resulted in an even worse trial. Drowning which is a fear of hers even though her father made sure she knew how. It scares her in a way the previous procedures did not. Invulnerable or not she felt helpless in open bodies of water. She closes her eyes as weights are shackled to her feet. Then she prays in her own language in her own way before they throw her in. 

It is not an experience she would like to live through again. Too unpredictable for her.

Her lips burn as she heaves sea water from her lungs mixed with wet mush. Mush they fed her to keep her awake for questioning. Her legs are weak and unsteady as she leans against the dock. When she can stand, she runs bare hands over her chest. Her brow raises realizing her chest is flat. It is flat and naked and apparently so is the rest of her. She raises a brow and looks down, her b.d.e was backed up. Not that she's surprised or anything. Christina hears shouts and yells if she's drowned her soul’s pure. She rolls her eyes so hard they hurt, where was these people’s logic.

She leans over the moonlit water and sees a reflection. Him. Her. He looks like her, but she is him. This was too much to settle into, at least it worked. Her arsenal of spells she acquired fuller than her father could have dreamt. Most of the spells she intended to pass on to someone, but she did not know how long this would last. For now, they had to run, find some suitable clothes, and get back to the portal. It was getting late and they had a date that they were behind schedule for.

*********

**Late November 2016**

Jarrell is nice. Benji is too, so are Riley, Nora, Erin, Tommie, and every other person she has seen recently. No relationships, no strings even though Jarrell is happy to try. He is always trying to sweep her off her feet with compliments. It is nice but they are all things she has heard before. The sex is okay, the company Monday through Friday are lack luster, but she hasn't been sowing her oats for that reason. No, she has been managing her desires as best she can without that blue-eyed devil. Ruby is tired of wanting to call Christina for a quickie. A quickie would have to happen in their home and that place carried too many happy memories. In exchange she rides whoever she wants and has whoever she wants ride her. Leti has taken over as mom because Ruby is tired of that role too. Leti is drilling her before one night stands about safety, condoms, and using sex as a coping mechanism. It feels like they are teenagers again and instead of Ruby lecturing Leti, they have reversed.

At least it was better than drinking or smoking Ruby told her sister. She only started dating around when she got fed up with being alone. It was going to be winter any day now and cuffing season was real. Leti told her she was too old to be playing games like that, but since when was she the type to play by others rules? If someone got attached or clingy, she could just make them forget it ever happened.

The best company she gets is her guitar and a stiff drink. A stiff dick would be better than this poor excuse for scotch.

Or was it brandy in her glass now.

Ruby sits at the bar of the lounge; the music is loud but sultry. The atmosphere has changed entirely from when she arrived. The jazz band replaced their upbeat tunes for slow moods until a DJ took over. It was a Wednesday night, but it was also a Wednesday before a holiday. People tend to like to have fake joy before dealing with family. Ugh family, Ruby loves hers, but she has seen nothing but them. When she wasn't working or fucking, she was at Leti's with a boarding house full of people. These lights became hues of dark red and blue as time shifted. She did not want to go home, too isolated, and definitely not to Letitia's, too crowded. At least here her glass has stayed full the entire time. Men liked to pay for her drinks, sometimes women too, she sips her third whisky. 

She winces at the taste again, the bar tender didn't give her top shelf this round. He was trying to ween her off which she did not appreciate. Soon she won't be able to do this anymore, sit in a bar and drink her sorrows away. She can, for now, drink with no worries of being spotted by a supporter or otherwise with fears of them tipping someone off. It was rare for her now to enjoy this comfort in Chicago, but possible. If it wasn't a friend of Leti's or her own, it was someone who knew her momma. Interrupting what was meant to be a quiet drink in a place surrounded by strangers. Talent has its drawbacks.

Two men are flirting next to her and she eavesdrops into their conversation. Listening to others is an easy way to ignore the sour brown in her glass. The sour that doesn't get any smoother as she sips it. These two are cute together and remind her of the couple from Schitt's Creek. 

"Oh, isn't he just divine." The shorter one whispers loudly covering his mouth with his glass.

"Well call me Barbie and build me a dream house." 

"Ken? Not with those surfer waves." His glass is not hiding his expressions at all, Ruby thinks.

The other man turns back around, “Maybe we can set Miles up."

Ruby glances over her left to find this man they spoke of. She sees his back silhouette as he moves through women who barely stop from walking into one another. Ruby eyes him from his fitted black trousers up. A tight red long sleeve polo is stretched over long chiseled arms, light blonde waves sit on his broad shoulders. He's pushing his hair back with a free hand and turns his sharpened jaw, Ruby feels her blood run cold and turns back around. If all the sound was pulled out of the room, she would've heard Italian leather shoes clipping towards the bar. 

Ruby inhales and settles herself, she has nothing to worry about. Even if it is Christina, she has not a damn thing to worry about. She is aware her red dress is hugging and hanging onto her body like a dream. The cut out exposing the girls is accentuating that they are in fact sitting. Sitting proudly for everyone to see, while her hair is coiled tightly into neat knots. She looks good and she knows it, so she has nothing to worry about.

"Well isn't he dreamy," one of the men whispers next to her. 

An arm moves on to the bar and a wrist rests on the wooden top. She sees the very expensive silver watch catch the red light in the corner of her eye. Ruby glances at this new drinking companion with her peripheral vision. He did not need to know she was sussing him out.

He looks like Christina more than William could ever. Ruby swallows her contempt and looks back into her drink like a liquored well of sadness. She fucking misses her. Everyone blonde looks like Christina and shit that never reminded her of the woman before does. It could be the smell of Fucking Fabulous by Tom Ford faint in the air. A case of stackable rings that made her think of hands that would never wear them. The indentation of her coffee cup resembling the small crinkle in the woman's exterior. Ruby wraps a hand around her drink. Whiskey has a habit of making her emotional.

A pale hand extends to her drink and pulls it from her. She watches the hand lift the drink to slightly full lips. Blue eyes wince at the taste and a hand waves to the bar tender. Ruby moves like she is about to cuss him out. His voice stops her, it's deep with a northern mass accent.

"Hi, could you give me a gin on the rocks and for the lady a whiskey mule with your," his finger points to the bottles on the top shelf.

Ruby pinches her brow this woman was going to be the death of her. She was grateful the lounge staff did not treat her special, but she also would have to break that privilege for murdering a man at their bar. He was lucky that the dimple in his cheek was cute.

His voice is higher to catch the tender when he yelps, "Oh and put her tab under my name." Ruby lightly taps his stomach, it's a reflex that she doesn't think about how it looks. He looks down at her and mouths ow, rubbing his rib cage. She definitely did not need him paying for her drinks. Ruby rolls her eyes.

The bartender smiles and laughs at the interaction, "Name?"

"Braithwhite, Chris Braithwhite."

Chris stares down at Ruby and grins as if she has done nothing wrong. Grins like they are a couple and that this is not at all weird. The bartender sits two glasses in front of them as he makes their drinks. Ruby watches liquor pour and ice cubes slip against one another. The ex-part makes it weird not the body swapping.

"Hello Ms. Baptiste," Chris sits on the bar stool next to Ruby. His hands fold on top of one another. They're long and regal but they hold time in them. Wear that is not usually there in Christina's body. Christina takes care of her hands, so the wear has to be recent. They are nice though really nice, Ruby hums and feels a warmth creep up her shoulders. Nice in a different, but familiar way.

"Hey white boy," Ruby says and she watches the bartender garnish the drinks. When he is finished and slides the drinks their way, Ruby grabs the gin and stares at Chris while she does. Chris smiles knowingly and nods to the bar tender. 

They sit in silence mostly listening to the music as they both sip their drinks and people watch. Chris observes the crowd and makes comments that make Ruby laugh. It lightens the uncomfortable energy radiating off them. Chris likes making Ruby laugh and Ruby is happy to be laughing again. She watches Chris dip his tongue across the rim of a salted shot glass. She watches his throat swallow down the shot. The Adam's apple on his neck moving quickly before his glossily manicured nails pinch a bright green lime. Ruby doesn't stop staring when this man or woman or whoever Christina chooses to be tonight catches her eyes. 

Blue eyes glint just the slightest and Ruby grins looking away. 

"I'm sorry I'm late," Chris leans into her space.

Ruby sips the glass of water the bartender places in front of her. You're always late she thinks to herself.

As if they could read her mind a deep voice rattles on, "I'm always late, I know."

"You learn anything new since I thought you were standing me up," Ruby toys with the lemon sword in her empty glass of gin. 

Chris genuinely smiles and nods to themselves, "Quite a bit in fact."

"Good," Ruby sighs into her straw she is not using. Why did she crack and ask Christina if they could hang out. She just wanted good company and nothing more.

Chris glances to the water Ruby is drinking, then back to the shifting energy of the crowd. The newer patrons are younger and the air screams sensual dance music. The lights on the bar are still a mix of red and vibrant oranges and yellows. But the lights surrounding the space are red and cool tones pulsating. Heaven and hell, water and fire. So many other cheap analogies she thinks of that make a deep chuckle radiate from this frame. 

Ruby leans up into his ear and feels both their bodies shiver. "What's so funny Christina," Ruby lowers her voice in their ear.

Chris leans into the lips along their earlobe. So warm where hours ago she shivered in agony. Fucking midcentury idiots. "You are on your second water like you are trying to sober up. Which means you plan on cussing me out or leaving me here alone."

Ruby leans on his shoulder which dips into her body as her lips move up his ear. She places a light kiss along the edge, "Assumptions that's how I know you aren't yourself. I am sobering up but it's because I would like to not make a fool out of myself."

Chris sighs, "Fool how?"

"I will let it happen if I'm sober. I will kill you if I'm not." Ruby's voice is like a cattail or a viper. 

Christina glances at Ruby and widens a gaze to the seriousness on Ruby's face. She would be lying if the woman's impulse to murder didn't turn her on a bit. Murdering her though was not as appealing but Ruby getting her hands dirty was a nice image.

Ruby grimaces, "You're insane I can see your brain churning. Being nasty again?"

"Maybe so. I think I like getting myself into trouble." Chris raises a brow and purses full lips. 

Ruby eyes the growing stubble on a chiseled cheek and leans back. Kissing someone so openly, would send rumors of a new boyfriend. This bar was a hiding spot but not that kind of a hiding spot. "Okay then how about you make trouble on the dance floor with me."

"Oh wow, you aren't worried about gossip." Chris barely says in an audible register.

"If I was there is a perfectly secluded balcony and would it be so bad getting caught with this." Ruby says and gives him soft eyes as she pats his chest.

Chris leans against the bar and pulls out a silver card holder. Ruby smiles proudly to herself, she got them that. His thumb finds the black card and makes it obvious he is waiting to be served. A tender comes to assist them as Ruby continues to sip her water. Chris's voice is sharp, "I'd like to close out my tab."

They end up on the dancefloor dancing to the rhythms of whatever the DJ is mixing. It is loud and Ruby feels herself sober within the half hour. Her legs getting tired she pulls her tall companion by the arm. Chris follows her as she takes them to a v.i.p staircase. Ruby flashes a smile to the security and he nods. Two steps at a time they both make it to the hallway balcony. Chris watching Ruby's legs in those heels switch to an empty couch. The hallway is damn empty but the ledge overlooks the crowd below. 

Ruby sits for a while as Chris stands near the edge looking down to the floor. He looks powerful back-lit by music and warm tones. She would look beautiful too, Ruby knows it, if only the other woman would just come as herself.

******

"Do they do it how I do it," Christina says, their voice low in Ruby’s ear. Their arm wrapped around her torso. Their body pressed against her back as they grind together. The music coming from the ground floor is bass heavy with Ty Dolla Sign's voice.

_She left me out here with temptations, With temptations._

Ruby tries to respond but it comes out in a whimper as she grips the edge of the railing. The cold metal sending goosebumps over her shoulders. Christina dips their head brushing kisses along goose flesh while rocking their hips into the slow movements she matches. Ruby bites her lip hard, trying to silence the whines in the back of her throat. They are so close it would look like they were dancing, their front to her back. Ruby sways her hips causing the hardness pressed against her ass to twitch.

_Ooh, now, I don't know how to act…._ The DJ transitions to another song and the bass gets slower. _He don't know what he got at home, We both know that he a clown._

"Is it as good as when it's not me? I know I'm better." Christina's words coming from a deep voice mumbling against the crook of Ruby's neck. Christina leans back up and using 'her' free hand turns full lips to their own. Christina glances through hooded lids at the desperate look on Ruby's face. It's the neediness there that tells her whoever this woman has been with when she isn't home has not been doing their job. Well her job she guesses even if they still aren't together. "I doubt it," she whispers with a smile. It's just sex with the others for Ruby, Christina tells herself this even with her fingers busy with someone else. 

_Tell by how you walkin', he don't dick you down_

_Don't you hear my talkin', baby?_

_Love me now or I go crazy_

Ruby looks up at this unfamiliar but beautiful face and leans in to kiss the smirk of his face. A hand that is not Christina's own but carries the woman's touch glides up Ruby's thigh. It dips nails into her skin as a rough tongue drifts across her own, the hand dips to her inner thigh and grips tightly. So tightly she feels a forearm flex taught. Ruby gasps into his mouth resting her forehead against his. She pushes her hips back to push him back. Blue eyes that aren't as pale as the woman she desires at night ooze ominously. His voice is gritty as he leans closer, "Baby I am still me." 

_Now you say he ain't your boyfriend, you just vibin'_

Ruby captures his lips again feeling his hand become less rough. She kisses him sloppily, his teeth clashing against her tongue, her mouth searching for something familiar. This feels so much more like Christina than William does, but he is also a stranger. He isn't a face she knows or a voice that is in her memories. Yet, unlike her usual hookups with strangers, they did not know how her body reacted with the simplest of stimuli. She finds familiar in the choked moans that sound like curses, as she sucks on his bottom lip. Her hand aimlessly leaves the railing to grip his, just before he can get any further up her skirt. Further than it already has. She has control for a while as his tall frame rocks her back and forth to the bass of the music. Lips attached to her exposed neck have been whispering "shit" a handful of times. Ruby drags the hand that is so much like her ex', less delicate though, up and down the inside of her skin. She pushes the hand back to a more appropriate place and lets go keeping their movements on beat. It's at least a more appropriate place for this hallway. The dimness of the hallway lit up by the lights coming from the main floor of the lounge.

_I'm nothin' like your exes, ooh, yeah_

_Nothin' like your exes, nothin' like your exes_

For a moment Ruby hears Christina's voice in her ear and the proposition is dangerous. "Can I fuck you right here."

*****

Ruby grits her moans in the back of her throat.

"Christina you are going to make me...," Ruby exhales before biting down on the hand that covers her mouth.

"Shh, just be quiet and even if someone catches us, they won't know it is you." The deep rasp in this stranger's voice rattle in Ruby's ears. Why did her ex have to use this face and this body as a mirage.

Ruby sighs rolling back to meet the thrust of Chris's fingers. She said just the tip and initially she meant in the car or the bathroom, but her dance partner had other plans. They really shouldn't be doing this out here in such a public place especially not her. Someone could see and then the press would go crazy, but it feels so good. A deep thrust and curl has her ejected from her thoughts and she clenches teeth around air. 

"Pick someone," the voice grunts as Ruby tenses around them. Ruby opens her eyes glancing past the one way glass to the dance floor beneath. There are too many people to focus on and her attention is preoccupied. Her eyes land on a woman about her height but a different face and a shade darker than herself.

"There," Ruby nods as an arm hooks around her shoulders and straightens her out.

Adam rolls into her ear in a deep voice and Ruby feels a wave over her body. She catches her reflection in the metal railing changing before her eyes. It works almost like the transformation spell and she realizes it makes sense. Christina got multiple spells in this lifetime because not only was she powerful, but all her spells related to transformation. Transformation of the body, matter, and mutations.

Lips against her ear make her shiver and the words, they are like cold ice cubes running down her spine...

“Just wait till I get you outside.”

“You feel so good. God you are just dripping for me.”

“Still not modest at all.”

“You are really letting me fuck you like this.”

“I want to taste you.”

“Not yet baby not yet.”

Ruby pulls a hand off this mirage of a body and nudges fingers from her. "Your car, now,", she breathes into an aghast mouth. Hands grip her thighs and lips meet hers. She lets them kiss her while he pats his pockets for the silver keys to his new chariot. Ruby slips a finger inside and starts walking towards the exit staircase. If she was going to get properly sated, she was going to do it as herself. 

*****

With a new body Christina felt she needed a new car. A congratulatory pat on the back for an extremely successful spell and a safe escape. The latest Bentley flying spur in a deep dark blue that had the perfect amount of backseat room to be christened. "I need it," Ruby pants into their mouth.

"Hmm, what you've been getting not good enough?" Christina says leaning into Ruby's neck as she untucks her shirt from open slacks. His hips careening into the space between Ruby's legs. His hands push the skirt of the dress up and pull the woman's lace underwear to the side. She is so grateful she told her buyer she wanted whatever model they had on the lot with tints. The tints were probably dark enough to be illegal in other states, but cops here would give her a pass after running her plates. Right now, they were perfect since she was parked in a back parking lot. Ruby's hand is gripping the buckle of the belt she damn near tore off his waist. Christina licks up Ruby's neck and nips at her ear. Her nails drop it to the floor of the car as his fingers rub circles against her clit.

Chris's voice rumbles in Ruby's ear, "If only you could sit on my face."

"Stop teasing me," Ruby whines and glares out of the open moon roof.

"I thought you liked it and I don't even have a condom, this body is…. different." Chris leans back and motions to the frame that others would associate as male. If her spell did work, it had certain functions that would sure make them both satisfied. That satisfaction could cause issues though if Ruby pulled her usual move and Christina did not expect this…. kind of. 

"You know I don't like it. Wait so you have been putting your own dick in someone else instead of William's. What a change," Ruby says in a heated tone but pulls the collar of his shirt tight.

Christina leans into the grasp and says pointedly in Ruby's ear, "I did not cheat on you." 

Why would she cheat on Ruby, of all people. Especially with people humans that she considered, for lack of a better term, incompetent. They were subordinates not equals and most of them would never be. Her students were great as students and that was all. Their crushes were fun to tease at with a smile, but she didn't encourage anything further. It was not her style, that was more the science departments’ flavor. 

"Did you or did you not have sex with your students as William." Ruby husks bundling her skirt up in her lap.

The deep voice above her quips, "Never." His eyes are the same shade of ice as Christina's, no chin dimple but one in his cheek. She rests one hand on her jawline and brushes her thumb over the indent. He gazes down at her with a smolder, but she can tell he is not lying. Fuck she hates herself a little bit for believing this woman no matter her exterior so easily. 

This is wrong, Christina thinks, not because it's Ruby, but because she doesn't look like Ruby. Chris mumbles a few words and Ruby feels a grayness lift from her form. Her nails are painted white again and she feels the haze of someone else's face over hers gone. Christina hums,"mmmm," she is looking back at her "friend."

Ruby drags her other hand under his shirt and up and down his chest, a chest she does not recognize. Leaner than William is but just as strong. She presses her fingers hard against chiseled edges feeling for an inkling of raised skin. He whimpers when her fingers find the familiar horned scar on his abdomen. There she is Ruby thinks as her nails dig at sensitive flesh. "Or any other version of skin suit you fit into?" Ruby asks.

"No, I don't fuck my students unless they are you." Chris's lips silence her chance of responding right away and the fingers she grinded against kept her body eager. They tug her underwear to the side mid kiss and her knees widen. His hands are soft but not as regally thin. A finger slips inside of her, a stretch full but it knows what she likes. She is about to let him distract her from the reason she texted Braithwhite in the first place. She originally wanted to see how the woman was coping, actually coping not just through message bubbles.

Christina gulps feeling Ruby's hand drop to the wet spot of the white boxers restraining his self. Christina shutters and a deep sigh comes out as Ruby slips her hand inside. The finger she is pumping in and out of the woman turns into two and they stutter to a curl. Ruby's palm rotates against the head and his fingers pump harder. Chris gives Ruby a chance to writhe at the pressure until the woman is looking up at her. 

"You better figure out the pull-out method then," Ruby moans as Chris rolls a thumb flat against her sensitivity. She pulls them from his boxers and starts lining hardness up with her body. Smoothness contrasted by rigidity; she does not move the fingers already quaking inside.

"Trust me it wouldn't be the first time," Chris whispers sliding fingers from Ruby. She quickly is wiping the slickness on his fingers over the tip since they were doing this. Condom or no condom. She looks down and watches the woman strewn in the car's backseat tease herself. Fingers wrapped around the dick between her legs pressing the tip against Ruby's clit. Christina bites their bottom lip, feeling and watching her tip tease wetness is going to give her a heart attack. Ruby was on one tonight, she thinks.

"Keep it up and I will tell you how they were bigger," Ruby says, dropping the hardness in her fingers just at her entrance and running her hands up her body. Ruby drinks in the way those eyes follow her hands up her body. She gives them a show, gripping and cupping what the pink tongue darting lightly across teeth desired. Her curves under her own hands are turning her on even more as she cups herself. Ruby feels Chris twitch between her thighs waiting for permission. She continues, "Wetter too and tasted better than you, if you want to act arrogant."

Chris can't take this and uses a hand to tip forward. They slide into Ruby with ease earning a moan from the woman. "Tell another lie I dare you," Chris growls feeling her around them. That was enough of that. 

Ruby moans out from the feeling of fullness and nothingness again as they try to slowly adjust to this. Chris in any body was still Chris and could be such a fucking brat. Ruby bites her lip looking into blue eyes that hang over her, " I hate magic."

"You don't hate magic you just hate that it keeps me from being the partner you need." Chris swallows and slips back into the denseness of tightening muscles. They moan as Ruby flexes to get that reaction. It's a hell of a lot being one person in her own body, but this is definitely not the body she wakes up in and sees every morning. All these sensations weren't.... new. She has felt them inside William's body and the signals that tell her to buck like a wild animal. "Fucking animals," she groans out. 

This body's hand, other’s hands, other’s holes, and nothing could quite match this. Ruby felt incredible in their hands and around their limbs. She was going to try to pull out on time, but if Ruby kept like this she did not know. A decision both of them would come to unless Ruby specifically asks for it. Then Christina would do whatever Ruby wanted. They clench as they sink in and out of her more steadily. 

Ruby arches into Chris's torso chasing their thrusts as they get disorganized. They are distracting themselves which is funny because Christina is not a one-minute woman usually. Ruby just hopes the recovery time is just as fast as William's. 

"Please stop thinking and just fuck me." Ruby grips the fabric of the red shirt tightly as Chris complies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is my writing playlist which as always is a work in progress. Made a separate playlist for those tracks and the other links to "Sustained" aka Ruby's album. If you listen to the songs on my writing playlist, skim them, or know some of them...you can get a hint to what's coming. The songs of this chapter are all there but i will list them here:
> 
> * Deftones - You've Seen the Butcher  
> * Childish Gambino - Terrified  
> * Deftones - Digital Bath  
> Frank Ocean - Nikes  
> Aretha Franklin - Day Dreaming  
> ** The Mamas & The Papas - Dedicated To The One I Love  
> **Al Green - How Can You Mend a Broken Heart  
> ** Julie London - Spring Will Be A Little Late This Year  
> * Ty Dolla $ign; Kid Cudi - Temptations (feat. Kid Cudi)  
> * Ty Dolla $ign - Nothing Like Your Exes  
> (Sex scenes*) (Line from each in Salem**)
> 
> Writing Playlist  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3YIX8v9YqCQJ133oCixB4q?si=FC2glmKVS7m5atVfM0DcIA
> 
> Sustained Ruby’s Album  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0GTOzx032RnVZX8N2PRH3l?si=0KWLE4hbSFGR9iPAJQL2OQ
> 
> Let me know your thoughts as always. Good? No good? Have safe sex and Ruby is not pregnant.


	7. Cause We've Ended as Lovers: part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I broke up this monster of a chapter I've been writing since Thanksgiving into several bits. Some are longer than others but all or most parts should be out today as I bleach my brows and work. The parts I hate are why this has taken a while to come out because i muse over them for hours and weeks and they still aren't perfect, enjoy this wild behind chapter in all of the parts. 
> 
> Title name from a song by Jeff Beck. Wrote this and was inspired to write this listening to Autumn Leaves by Frank Sinatra.

Ruby feels sunlight on her skin and it wakes her. She turns away from the light and into a warm body. Blinking she realizes they are in the guest room of her house. A warm embrace fills her mind with desires of rest and sleep. Ruby's vision gets clearer as she plays tog if war with sleep. For someone so evil Christina looks very doe like asleep, Ruby thinks. It takes her a moment to realize the pillows are still strewn about, the sheets a mess, and Christina's arms are wrapped tightly around her. The exhaustion in her body leaves her brain a fog while she rests her lips against warm skin.

Ruby exhales quietly, "Baby wake up."

The words come out so natural that she has no time for them to register and she's already kissing a blonde covered forehead.

Christina groans quietly and holds Ruby tighter. Why did they have to wake up already, couldn't they just lay in bed all day. Last night was good, today could be good too.

Ruby rotates further into the loosening vice grip around her and presses kisses to Christina's forehead again. 

Christina whines and Ruby mumbles again, "Woman I know you, if I don't wake you now, you will sleep all damn day."

Christina shakes her head sleepily into Ruby's shoulder. Her ex wasn't wrong. Most days she was an early riser but after nights like last night she just wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up with Ruby. It usually tires her out keeping herself in William's skin to keep Ruby coming. Keeping his skin together where she was falling apart could feel impossible. Currently though she was just sore and tired from being worn out. Ruby was very clear last night on who and what was no longer her's.

Even if Ruby won't say it to Christina's face she knows how to undo her. Almost as easy as cracking Christina from a shell named William, when she gets stuck. Lips pressed against her ear are the key while whispering it's yours always quickened Christina's pace.

Christina kisses Ruby's bare shoulder and whispers, "Good morning....baby huh?" 

She wonders if she imagined things or if Ruby really said it. It had been months falling back into old routines should not be this easy, she thinks. Besides telling Christina who was in control Ruby also made it very clear that last night was casual. Apparently she only wanted to go home because of the privacy they could have. While dragging them into the living room, Ruby told him it was just hormones' and mounted him there on the couch. 

Christina swallowed the not here that protested into her mouth and settled poorly in her stomach. Not here, has her stepping away from the bedroom they once shared and stumbling to an unused guest room. Pulling Ruby by what little she'd still had on to the fresh bed. The sheets were fresh though and Christina wondered for 5 seconds if Ruby had hired house keeping or anticipated sex. He never got a chance to ask in before getting the most insane head she's ever received. Received in any body, mind you, this topped the best from Ruby and her former number one spot held by some twink in a gay club.

William had had some fun in the past long before Ruby.

"Sorry about that," Ruby lightly pushes blonde hair from the half sleep face next to her. 

"It's fine," Christina yawns out, "Good morning."

"Hi..." Ruby lets out a sigh while stretching her limbs to escape Christina's grasp, "you're you." The wriggling works the arms around her free, but Christina still rests her chin on a warm shoulder.

"I was me last night too." Christina ghosts the words over the shoulder her lips are pressed to. Her hair hangs over her bed companions skin. The covers that were still attached to their frames draped over them in exhaustion. Christina cracks her stiff fingers while the hand rests on top of Ruby's covered thighs. 

Ruby presses her fingers to the inside of Christina's hand. It's soft but as she brushes the ridges of long hands she feels calluses and deep healed scars. On Chris they were days old, on Christina weeks. She rubs the inside of a pale wrist and feels the sleepy witch on her shoulder grow heavier.

"Right.... another glamor, but it felt so real," Ruby yawns louder. She covers her yawn with the back of her free hand and turns her head to Christina. She hopes it will push Christina to move away from the sudden movement but she doesn't. 

Christina mumbles, "It was real and it's not a glamor just a spell." Her voice is more awake than her body. The coating of rasp from deep sleep, jolts Ruby's memories of last night. Memories of the club, the car, the living room, and the trail of heat they left on their way to this bed. She was nervous they would snap the antique bed boards or worse the frame. That would be more expensive to repair than a get noise complaint. The headboard is still intact and the bed even comfier than before.

Ruby sits up tired and confused in Christina's loose arms, "Another spell ? Wait, are you going through time killing people and stealing their spells ?"

Ruby's eyes are wide with disapproval as Christina opens hers.

"Time traveling with Titus I just have more lifetimes to create more spells. I don't enjoy his company, so sometimes I do procure one or two spells from locked books and desks." Christina bites her bottom lip as she looks over at Ruby.

Ruby creases her brow, "You never said anything about killing."

"That is so crass, murder, the act of it." Christina says leaning back into the bed.

"Yet you do get an adrenaline rush watching men die," Ruby rolls her eyes at Christina. She knows that Christina has gotten her hands dirty.

"Ms. Baptiste you know it is only those who are evil, but I've only murdered one thing." Christina licks her lips.

Ruby groans and rolls her eyes, "If you say this pussy, I'm kicking you out of this bed now." 

"Kicking me out of my own house, rich," Christina pouts.

Ruby raises her brow, "Both of our names are on the deed now.... remember. So yes i will kick you out of my house."

Christina exaggerates her nod and leans forward to press her lips to Ruby's neck. Ruby loves how animated and sweet this lover is versus the one who lives out in the world. She glances at the shadows on the walls. A hand is cupping and massaging her chest while the kisses to her neck ghost her pulse point. Sun is trickling into the room and based on those shadows they overslept the window for a sexy wake me up. 

Ruby whines, "We can't. Fuck, i need to..." She pulls away from Christina's lips, "Can you take me to Leti's ?"

"Are we ending my visit here ," Christina purrs in her ear and Ruby shivers. Ruby pulls Christina's hands away from her and moves out of seductress’s distance. She sits across from Christina who sits up straight pushing her hair back with one hand. Just like he did last night, ruby feels her cheeks go warm.

"I mean I can go another round, after I help my sister set up for Thanksgiving, but I just figured...," Ruby sees the distant look in Christina's eyes and taps her nose.

"I'm here ," Christina says dryly, blinking back to reality.

Ruby sighs, "You forgot that it's Thanksgiving."

"I've been busy." Christina sees that her simple answer won't be enough for the woman who wants to know everything. 

"Titus and I don't exactly celebrate holidays together. Large parties of dukes and the rich that are just as disgusting then as they are now. I've seen and been to hundreds of those parties by now. I don't enjoy their company or money talk, but I guess it's just what I'm used to now." Christina shrugs.

Ruby purses her lips, "You did just fine for years before..." Christina bites the inside of her cheek and mouths out I know I know. "Would you want to come to dinner I can ask, but I.....I did say this was just a sex thing." 

Ruby looks away scratching her nape.

Christina crosses her arms and chuckles, "It's a whatever you want it to be, thing."

"So sex," Ruby says raising her brow.

Christina stretches her arms. "If that’s what you want then yes. But if this is really just sex then why am I still here."

Ruby looks at Christina and doesn't mince her words, "Because we can't have what we want and each other, but we can have sex."

Christina nods to hide her sad smirk, "So dropping you off at Leti's is that all you need today." She trails a hand up Ruby's bare arm and kneads her shoulder lightly. Ruby winces and Christina softens her touch, "maybe a back rub too."

"I'd like that but I only have a few hours to get last minute things for Leti and shower. Also your back rubs always end up with you needing to wash your face off." Ruby says looking at Christina through her lashes.

Christina stretches her hands up ward letting the sheets around her drop. She talks as Ruby's eyes sweep across her body. "It's still a massage but, seriously you can get a bath and a massage. A real one."

She winks.

"Then I can drive you to the store and then drop you at Leti's before I go to a prior engagement." Christina boops Ruby's nose.

Ruby scrunches her eyes, "No dinner then? And what's her name?"

"Save me a plate and Dr. Diageo, she's a colleague at the divinity school." Christina extracts herself from the four post bed and looks for an old robe in the guest closet. This room became storage when she lived here before Ruby. She shrugs on a random green duster and opens the bedroom door. Ruby watches her ex move in familiarity of their home. It was good she stopped them from entering her room. Waking up like this in there would be too much.

"Please don't tell me you're going to become a priest," Ruby grimaces and half shouts into the hallway.

"No, she took over for my theology course and wants my opinion on where she is going with their final." Christina says quietly.

"I'm sure she does," Ruby bemoans to herself. She leans over to grab her phone off the night table. She sighs seeing unopened text messages and scrolls through Letitia's texts to her.

**Leti: Ruby this is the list of things I need you to get like you promised. I don't know why you are fucking texting me back.**

**Ruby: I will get your list Leti calm down. I just slept in.**

**Leti: Another man? 🤨**

**Ruby: Don't slut shame little sister.**

**Leti: I'm not but making sure you are safe.**

**Ruby: I'm older than you i'll have your shit just text me anything else you add.**

Ruby sets her phone down, stepping into a set of slippers and walking out into the hallway towards the open bathroom door. 

********

"So if that was real then you could....I could get....," Ruby crosses her hands in her lap.

Christina taps the steering wheel, "Theoretically anything is possible with magic. Scientifically the chances are slim the spell does change me physically....but I doubt that that changes fertility."

"I guess if you could've, I would have had a scare long before last...." Ruby bites her tongue realizing she is about to expose that secret.

"Wait you had a scare?" Christina chews the inside of her jaw.

Ruby stays quiet, the morning was good and getting into that would be an argument. Christina doesn't rack her brain over the words but it does get her thinking. There was a chance, small with William but as herself, as Chris, that chance could be so much higher. They didnt pull out at all last night not once, not twice, and not the third time either. What if Ruby was ovulating? They were probably still on the same cycle schedule or close to it and that would mean....shit. 

Christina clears her throat, "Do you want me to get you Plan B just in case ?"

Ruby thinks about pushing out stubborn blonde heads and wanting to bind Christina’s magic or at least that spell forever. Hearing babies scream and cry while drowning her music and herself in the process. She is already drowning in her work and fame, children….Christina’s children would surely submerge her sense of self. Now was definitely not the time.

"I can afford it," Ruby responds, scratching the leather of the car door with her nail.

Christina clips out, "Not what I asked."

"Yes," she says in a hum to the drivers side. They drive a bit longer with the speakers playing Ruby's Spotify on low. The silence allows them to both live in their heads for a while. Ruby is trying to dissolve the images of a mixture of her and Christina in a child. Christina keeps her eyes glued onto the road while realizing what Ruby meant. The scare was not with William, the scare was recent. She exhales through her nose and opens up the conversation.

"So you've been with others ?" Christina swallows. 

Ruby thinks about how best to answer this. Her Christina could be a bit jealous and jealous Christina was a dick. Jealous Christina liked to belittle herself under breath. Jealous Christina also made her cum back to back without even trying. Jealous Christina would want to have an argument or debate about future children. She wants kids, Christina is always on the fence, and after so long of dating they still hadn't reached a middle ground. Ruby thinks they have sea-sawed on the topic of children finally. 

"Yes and clearly so have you," Ruby directs the conversation to the drama currently surrounding the popular professor.

"I have," Christina says checking her mirrors. "She isn't a student of mine if you're still stuck on that. You remember Diageo ?"

Ruby rolls her eyes, "Yes and i am less inclined to feed into my assumptions."

"Good. Aleja was her grad student while I was shadowing before I took the position. We hit it off." Christina adjusts her steering and grip slightly. 

"Sure you did.....is she still alive?," Ruby questions. 

She watches Christina adjust to driving with one hand. The clear polish reflects the cold orange sunlight of the chilly fall. Ruby trails her eyes back to Christina's face, still looking at the road. Her exes free hand changes to cruise control and rests on her leg. She doesn't move their hand.

"As of this morning very much so." Christina glances at the annoyance on Ruby's face. Christina explains, "She actually shares our little secret. Her father runs a lodge of the order in Cuba. I'm helping her with a coup, she wondered if I made it to Chicago okay and told me she's being named president of the Calabasas order."

"Oh," Ruby says and stares back out the window, "the spell it was for her."

Christina holds the steering wheel tighter as they drive on the inerstate. Her left hand lightly grasps Ruby's thigh. She is relieved to finally tell Ruby about one of her many schemes, but it is settling in that Ruby's scare wasn't her doing. Someone else had tried to lay their seed where it didn't belong.

"We aren't into eachother outside of sex maybe a date or two. She actually is more attracted to....you." Christina rolls her eyes because the chastising voice of Aleja replays in her ears. Aleja kept telling her how she was a fucking idiot for breaking up with Ruby. It wasn't just Aleja gushing over Ruby's beauty with and without the mask but her confidence.

Ruby rolls her eyes, "She only saw that form of me does she really know about me."

"I couldn't exactly ask to use her face and not tell her about being single after so long of not being single." Christina brushes her thumb against Ruby's pants, "So she knows almost everything, some secrets are just for us."

Ruby looks at Christina like she has lost her damn mind.

"I promise she's good at keeping secrets, even better than me." Christina hums checking her mirrors. 

Her voice is nervous when she proceeds with a question. "Did they say I made them uncomfortable or did anything inappropriate, my students. I know miscommunication happens and i would like to apologize if I did."

Ruby shakes her head. "No, just some very detailed crushes on public anonymous message boards and then they found her Instagram. It just started a giant rumor mill of if you fucked any other students....i know you hate that i..." 

Christina relaxes, "I stopped lying to you long ago Ruby Dorothy Baptiste. My answer from earlier still remains the same."

Ruby studies Christina's profile and sighs relief. "I followed her i.g. before she went private. You look good with her."

"Hmm I look good next to anyone," Christina says casually. Ruby rolls her eyes and Christina just chuckles. "It is nice."

"What is ?" Ruby asks but is not sure if she really wants that answer. She always asks Christina things that have a possible response which terrifies her.

Christina searches for the words as she takes a right and sees the supermarket up ahead. She pulls her hand from Ruby's leg and changes gears again. 

"Someone just wanting to be seen with me by the world even if they are just a friend." Christina exhales. 

Ruby winces scrolling through her text thread with Leti looking for her little list.

"I'm sorry i wasn't able to give you that before. I really did want to," Ruby sighs zipping up her jacket to hide the tears welling up.

Christina drops her hand back to Ruby's knee, "I am sorry I couldn't make this world safer for you to do so."

"That's not your job, your job is to be a better you." Ruby shakes her head

Christina brings her hand back to the wheel. "I'm trying, I haven't been the best sometimes."

"I didn't want perfection Christina, I'm not your father or anyone from the order." Ruby bites her bottom lip, "I just want you to not play me and what we have."

"And I'm not your mother or sister, I have no intentions of doing that but you know I don't give information that is not asked. Closed mouths...." Christina starts.

"Don't get fed. Yea yea.....,"Ruby mimics Christina's accent and then smirks as the other woman scrunches her forehead.

"I don't sound like that," Christina steers the car around the empty supermarket parking lot. It was early but as time ticks away it could get busy.

Ruby rolls her eyes. "So would you be opposed to being in a speculated relationship with me on my Instagram lives....as a friend."

"Ha ha no. I'm never doing that again." Christina laughs shifting the gear into park.

************

Christina watches as Ruby tears open cardboard to get to the already paid for single pill. They had almost finished shopping but the first department they went to was the pharmacy. 120 bucks (they bought two extra...for the future should Ruby need it with or without Christina) and a bottle of water later they were back to shopping for the other necessities. As a team they gathered items on the list until Ruby had walked off her nerves to take the pill.

"So who was he?" Christina asks, steering the cart into the aisle.

Ruby scratches her scalp through her scarf, "Does it matter?

Christina lets out a hmph.

"Oh you're upset? You have no control over what or who I do in my free time. Just like I can't stop you from texting your little girlfriend."

Ruby drops her jaw, "Omg Christina he was just a drunk one night stand."

"Wait he took advant...," Christina stands up holding the cart.

"No no," Ruby shook her head, "I was aware just a little tipsy, full consent."

"He came in you." Christina says the disgust in her voice is laughable.

Ruby laughs through her nose, "Yea again I consented, but forgot about it because someone decided to drop in on me again. Hence the pregnancy scare."

"So, I could have been fucking you while you had another man's kid in you." Christina squints at the supermarket aisles. 

"That bothers you? You don't see me snapping at you because I probably kissed you while the taste of some other woman was still on your lips. Which is disgusting by the way. " 

"True but I did brush in between and wash my hands." Christina smirks.

Ruby grins, "You liked me not modest once, remember."

"I still do." Christina hushes.

"Mmmkay Mr. possessive." Ruby presses Christina's shoulder lightly.

Christina rebuttals, "I'm not possessive you aren't mine to keep, fuck buddy or partner."

Ruby finally gets the pill from the package and pulls a bottle of water from the cart. "Yet you wanna be the only one to give me kids. I think the meat suits are getting to your brain Braithwhite," she says.

"Maybe......," Christina watches ruby swallow the pill in the aisle. Her Tigers baseball cap is sitting over Ruby's tied scarf. The cart is only missing two things from the list. Most of the items they picked up for Leti and the house are checked off. Cereal for George and apples for a pie were the last things and Ruby was considering buying a pre-baked pie. Leti was contributing a large portion of dinner at her home of boarders and Ruby was supposed to make baked goods. Last night derailed her baking plans. A small family gathering had turned into Leti inviting 3 boarders and a guy "friend" of Dee's. All without a place to go for the holidays and without a hot home cooked plate of food.

"No I think I just... I want you or someone else to have my kids even if we aren't together," Christina sighs.

"Was this a sugar pill," Ruby stares at the trash in the cart.

"No," Christina smiles, "I'm just talking out my ass ignore me." She starts walking down the empty cereal aisle. She stops in front of Kix, George's (and her's) favorite. Ruby watches Christina pick the box advertising a toy and grins. It was 2 dollars more than the plain box but Ruby knows her ex enjoys spoiling her nephew. Even in small ways. Christina is going to be a pushover one day to small children who adore her. Ruby smiles at the image and prays for the woman who gets to enjoy that.

**********

"So you are reading her notes about what," Ruby swallows. "You aren't going to tell me."

Christina looks over at her passenger, "I'd rather tell you where I got the scars you have been so fascinated by since last night."

Ruby keeps tracing over the palm sitting in her lap. "Tell me."

Christina recounts the Salem incident which had Ruby squeezing her hand and brushing her wrist. They have time because Leti is still inside and has not stormed out with a shotgun ready for one specific white woman. Nothing they bought has to be refrigerated so Ruby calms Christina's nerves. Nerves she's noticed get worse and worse as time ticks by. When the story is over Ruby groans.

"You really aren't telling me what's in those notes." She is disappointed not because sometimes Christina's classes are interesting. The way the woman talks about work can feel like she is not only a magical student to the witch, but a theological one as well. Ruby is disappointed because something is bothering the person she considers a close friend. Perhaps her closest and she can't help Christina if Christina does not want the help.

Christina deflects to the bags holding groceries and a pre baked pie in her trunk. "Do you need help carrying this stuff in?"

"I texted Tic and he said Jarrell will be out in a second." Ruby puts her keys in her pocket and sips from her water again.

Christina whistles, "So you're still gonna see him."

"Maybe. Are you going to tell me what your meeting is really about." Ruby gives Christina a questionable stare. 

"You are really going back to boring dick after last night," Christina scoffs, "You deserve better."

"If better is you then no, joke aside i know i do but he's here he's nice. You're neither of those things, so tell me about your meeting." Ruby takes a sip of her water.

Christina whispers check mate. "Fine, it's about the trial, from what you've told me I have no issue with my students but perhaps the board. Diageo is going to catch me up to speed on everything including who is behind this."

"A trial ? For the allegations, did someone come forward?" Ruby is shocked in her seat.

Christina shakes her head, "Not unless someone is lying but trials are custom with even suspicions that something is happening. I just need to figure out how to explain that I was in a committed monogamous relationship without proof."

Ruby tenses.

"I'll be fine," Christina smiles fakely.

"Yea....Is there," Ruby begins to ask but is cut off by Christina. 

Christina points to a man coming out of the front door of the home. "I'm gonna come back to pick up my desert after everything. Make sure no ones fingers are in my pie." Christina looks to the man that Ruby waves at from afar. Ruby clicks her tongue and Christina leans slightly across the center console and stares at Ruby. They lock eyes and Christina turns her eyes to that look which has Ruby returning with smolder.

Ruby looks away from Christina's wolf like gaze to Jarrell who gets closer and closer, "Okay Betty Crocker." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consent is an important topic to me so if it comes up 500 times more i'm not sorry. When i say monster pf a chapter i'm not kidding this part alone was 15 pages and this chapter in full was supposed to be posted on or the day after Thanksgiving (US). Most of my long chapters for any story alone are 30 chapters and every part is about that length. I can and may cut the trial from this chapter and put it into chapter 7 depending on feedback. Speaking of which, Feedback is always welcome.
> 
> Especially in between parts because i can always add an idea or something you point out before i post the next parts of the chapter. Good or bad critique i love to hear it. Let me know what you wanna see or would rather me skip over, not just for this chapter but in future chapters. The next part of the chapter really kicked my arse for some reason, kinda struggling with this AU Ruby and her coming out also holidays are hard for me to relate to. I felt way too much of a burden to ask others for real help with those parts, um yea anyways hope you liked it. DM are open here and on tumblr at Anonil88.


	8. Cause We've Ended as Lovers: part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanksgiving and anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, the Euphoria part 2 trailer folded me like a crumpled greeting card. I am going to be emotionally wrecked on Friday so I apologize if part 3-the last one of this chapter takes me until Frday night or afternoon to get out. And then this morning then inauguration happened. Ms. Michelle and Ella did what they had to today which was slay. Oh and I inconveniently lost a part of this chapter and had to search for it, eventually was found tucked away. Anyway here's part 2 let me know your thoughts, warning last section’s smut.

Ruby stares at her phone once more before walking into the kitchen. Leti and Hippolyta are dishing out food into serving plates chatting about some TV show they both watch. She has just returned from changing into one of the outfits she's left at her sisters. It's a cute comfy outfit fit for the holidays. Ruby just feels terrible listening to her sister and Hipp talk. Her phone buzzes in hand and she is relieved to look at the messages.

**Braithwhite: Ruby im fine.**

**Ruby: What are you going to eat?**

**Ruby: Food like everyone else on this day.**

**Braithwhite: Whose food, you are picky.**

**Braithwhite: Stop mothering me Rubes, I'm not Letitia.**

**Ruby: Sorry. Bad habit.**

**Brathwhite: It's fine. I'm just stressed.**

**Ruby: Chris, i just i care and food will help?**

**Braithwhite: You care for your fuck buddy how sweet I wonder what else is sweet.**

**Ruby: Don't get any ideas smartass. Are you sure you don't want a seat and a plate? I feel like kind of an asshole for this morning.**

**Braithwhite: Don't, you were just establishing boundaries that i respect. I'm okay with that seriously. A plate sounds nice though.**

**Ruby: Okay well what do you want on your plate?**

**Braithwhite: The usual. What about your boyfriend. Will he not get suspicious.**

**Ruby: OK. He is not my boyfriend or my man. 😑**

**Braithwhite: Thankyou, lick you up at 10. Does he get jealous?**

**Ruby: Picking me up at 10 is too early, come around 11:30. Jealous of the others, no.**

**Braithwhite: I meant what I said. What about me?**

**Ruby: 😳 Christina I'm in the kitchen with my sister and Lyta, behave. With all the rumors he doesn't know who you are besides Tic's rich white cousin serving out reparations.**

**Braithwhite: Behaving got me in trouble so I'm about ready to say damn it all. 😈 Thats a shame I'll be happy to introduce myself as your ex.**

  
  


**Braithwhite: Ex-roommate.**

**Ruby: You will hold your tongue in front of our family or you get no more 👅. Christina i thought you said this trial wasn't going to be a big deal.**

**Braithwhite: so did i**

**Ruby: I can talk to my manager if you need me to**

**Braithwhite: No you don't need to go out of your way for me, but can I stay at the house for a few days until this is over?**

**Ruby: is that a good idea**

**Braithwhite: no but I also don't want to waste money**

**Ruby: I've seen you walk into Prada for new cufflinks because the ones you already have were in the car.**

**Braithwhite: Fine I will book a room then.**

**Ruby: Don't spend your money but we will need some rules tomorrow. Can you tell me about your trial tonight over dessert?**

**Braithwhite: Do you really want to know?**

**Ruby: Aren't we friends?**

**Braithwhite: Yes but is talking well into the night complicates rules for me.**

**Ruby: I said tomorrow not tonight. 🥧**

"Um HELLO, Ruby!" Leti snaps her fingers at her sister and raises her voice.

"Huh," Ruby shoots her head up.

"Can you pass me the cranberry sauce out of the fridge? I still can't believe you bought store made pie." Leti shakes her head while moving dishes around.

"Oh yes sure." Ruby hums and shuffles to place her phone on the counter. She glances in the silver monstrosity for the bowl of chilling homemade sauce. When she finally does spot it in the full fridge she passes it to her sister.

Hippolyta smiles at Ruby knowingly. When Leti is further away she whispers to Ruby, "Should I get Dee to set another seat at the table."

Ruby crosses her arms and shakes her head no. She has a small smile but Hippolyta has this knack for seeing right through a person. It could be her vast sense of knowledge or the fact that she's seen Ruby grow up. Hippolyta places the dish of greens back on the table and crosses the tile. Ruby leans into the hug Hippolyta while watching her younger sister mutter words carrying out yams in one hand and dressing in another. 

"You know, girl it takes longer to let go of some things when you try to pretend that you already have," Hippolyta offers some advice.

Ruby shrugs watching Hipp move back to take a ceramic bowl of yams to the dining table.

Dinner is louder than normal. Sammy and Montrose were late with several extra mouths to feed. A couple fellow gays without a home for the holidays. One of the youngest was a lot like her in looks but much more timid. They beamed at her and even though Ruby felt a bit weirded out she finally started to get it. She was someone's representation whether she was famous or not, if she was out that might not end for her. Or it could just be the beginning of representation.

************

"Aleja is going to be invited to give her side of events, then you if you want, and then after the holidays they are going to hear the sides of the students involved in spreading rumors." Christina plays with the watch on her wrist listening to Diageo drone on. They are sitting in the lofty campus chapel office with stained glass windows and the best heat on campus. 

Christina sighs, "Let me guess the students are the you know who club."

Diageo purses her lips as she drinks from her glass. "I can't say," she gulps from a large canteen and rolls eyes. Christina sighs leaning back into the comfy couch she lounges on.

"But," Diageo says, "if you 'testify' you are going to have to stay here in Chicago until after the hearing is over. Friend, why aren't you more shocked Aleja is coming?"

"Fuck," Christina covers her face with both hands, "she may have given me a heads up about that."

“You busy with my former student Professor Braithwhite.” D iageo fakes a shocked expression behind her hand.

“It  is NOT like that I....we are friends. I just have family here and her dropping in on my cousin would be rude.” Chrstna grabs a foam k i dney from under her and tosses the stress ball  in her hand up. Tic would not care about Aleja if he knew ahead of time but Leti would chop her head off. She watches the blue oblong shape fall directly back into her hand, they also shouldn't be involved when this is her own mess. She squeezes the kidney shape and glances at the Dr snacking on something from a vending machine. 

Diageo bites into a butter cookie, "Hmm, you sure can't have your new fling seeing your ex huh." She wags her finger  in the air as if to say, I've been there and done that. 

Christina looks at her with a side eye what would a 50 something year old butch pr iest know about keeping two woman apart. The Dr. was coupled for much longer than Christina has ever stayed in one place besides Ardham. She can only imagine the only thing drier than the tilled over ashes of the estate was Diageo’s flirting skills. She also does not recall telling any of her colleagues not even the close ones that she had been in a relationship. Many of them assumed she was a single player or just disinterested in any type of romance, the only thing they guessed right was that she likes women. Asking her to be supervisor of the feminist film club was a subtle inquiry. Of course she accepted. Her brow arches slightly but her forehead stays unwrinkled. 

The Doctor places her cookie on a napkin and wipes her fingers clean. She levels, "Christina I just figured Aleja must be new because you seemed pretty invested in whoever was texting you during most of our department meetings. Invested enough to not catch that the decomposing men on the board were pitting together against you. I honestly would not put it past them to be behind this whole senseless trial. Unless it was her texting you the whole time, but even then you are both adults." Diageo shakes her hands when she talks and Christina watches as she gets more alive talking about the board. They bonded over their love of women and their hate of the majority white over 60 plus male board of trustees. Some of the trustees were donors and others department heads, many who felt Diageo was too “liberal” and Christina too much of a fire starter. 

Christina shakes her head, "You assumed wrong it wasn't her... I was with someone."

Diageo exhales heavily and leans an elbow on her desk. "Listen I try to stay out of my colleagues private lives but if you have a partner that's not Aleja it could really clear things up here. Seniority would not matter if the non stick up their ass members of the board knew that you are in a committed relationship. Depending on how long it would show you had no interest in any of your current students or former."

Christina’s eyes glass over with over thinking as she stares at the paneled ceiling. Why did she just take over her father’s business and live a rich quiet life like he wanted. Tucked away and reclusive, hidden from any board of racists sons of…. Christina pinches her brow. All of the space she previously could argue over the men that sit on the board are overshadowed by her deal with her several great grandfather. Who should be turned over in a grave, but due to magic he is not. Magic that does not stop him from being one of the most misogynistic racists she has ever talked to. H.P Lovecraft was a close second. Her deal with Titus that keeps that time keeps moving on with and without her no matter where she resides in the continuum or universe.

"As your acquaintance i am on your side Braithwhite. Even if you are having an affair it is clearly with someone outside of the by laws." Dr. Diageo's voice is non-judgmental and comforting. Christina appreciates the honest sympathy from the doctor who looks like an unlikely friend. Diageo wore a simple outfit but the deep purple stole with gold crosses gave away her virtue. She was nice to talk to and she was gay so there were less pious conversations about their lives in between curriculum sessions. 

"Had....," Christina clarifies, "I was in a relationship but we ended things. Aleja is just a friend who has helped me with my family business, she is familiar with the trade."

Diageo nods, "Hmm I mean even an ex could clear things up maybe he....or she or they could stop in and leave a written or give an in person statement. You can't be there of course, you can't even be on campus, but it would help."

Christina is quiet and grabs a stack of papers on the coffee table next to her. 

"Unless it was a bad break up." Diageo suggests.

Christina holds the papers over her head and flips through the sheets of staples essays. She hates reading on a screen and so does Diageo. But, at least the college has a recycling initiative. She doesn't want to answer and hopes Diageo will get it and back off.

Diageo drinks from a straw, "And a certain celebrity?"

Christina stretches her neck and feels it crack before glaring at Diageo. 

"Really Christina, please tell me your ex girlfriend is not a Ruby fucking Baptiste." Diageo's jaw is slightly open as she covers her mouth.

Christina exhales, if anyone was a good person to tell and keep their mouth shut it was Carla Diageo. She shifts her legs and sits up correctly, "Please do not say anything, she isn't exactly public with her personal life."

"Well then....How did you, never mind you probably just used those eyes to charm her." Diageo leans back into her desk chair.

"Carla, I need your word that you won’t say anything," Christina rotates her shoulders. She is uncomfortable again. 

Diageo smiles, "Braithwhite you do remember these fancy robes aren't just for show. I'm a priest, I can keep a secret." Christina sighs in relief as Diageo tosses her a red pen. “Dating someone in the closet is hard, celebrity or not, how long?”

"Too long to feel worth it anymore, but I can ask if Ruby can say or send something. Just when would she have to come on campus ?" Christina asks her self appointed trial liaison.

"Thursday after next,” there is a pregnant pause from the priest, ”the same morning as Aleja's account." Diageo says looking down at the papers under her hand. Christina hears her suck her teeth and the quick scribbles on a post-it note. Time was not on her side this time.

Christina boldly raises her hands to her face and rubs her hairline, "Well fuck me."

"Good luck with that, at least they are both hot though right. You can get dumped all over again by two women, because there is no way you broke up with Ruby fucking Baptiste." Diageo laughs and Christina drops her hands to her lap.

Christina just stares at her colleague expressionless. Here she was panicking internally and Carla was making jokes about her plight.

"I'm actually faithful to my partner so don't worry about me. Worry about your two lovers fighting or worse someone else coming around." Diageo makes exaggerated hand movements while she teases the blonde. 

Christina ignores her and sighs sifting through more student’s papers, Aleja and Ruby would not fight. Both women were too polite and mature to actually physically fight over some “tall skinny papa”. They both weren't above pushing her to her limits though, she would be vexed and oversexed. She already knows that Ruby has a slick attitude and Aleja loves to taunt people with questions. Both women were force’s to reckon in an alley alone with her best defense mechanisms. Now she was stranded on a beach weaponless with a dual headed boss battle and all of her best masks needed use elsewhere. Masks she needed to not whisper Adam and walk out of the round conference room covered head to toe in blood. A bewitched witch being bothered and bewildered, her life was just turning into one Ella Fitzgerald standard.

*******************

Ruby sings under her breath along with a boarder’s jazz mix coming from a speaker. Half of the living room is relaxed as she hums quietly while the other half indulges in football. Some talk and others look bored on their phone. She watches her sister collect dollars and bills from some of the spectators of the game. Of course they were all betting and of course Leti was good for it. Ruby glances next to her at the olive record store tote bag of plastic containers and two foil wrapped plates. One plate piled with an array of desserts and one Christina's full plate. Leti saw her making it and chastised her, so they have been keeping their distance for the rest of the night.

Leti belittled her like she was a child in the kitchen while Ruby cut the pie slices for everyone. "You have a good man out there so you need to stop breaking your own heart just like momma. She is just going to leave you again."

Ruby tried hard to not want to fix her sister's jaw with something a fist, but Hippolyta stepped in. Told them to cut the nonsense and passed Letitia some foil to busy herself with. 

Ruby kept looking at her phone for the time and text message from her “uber”. The game was almost over and she was ready to leave. Jarrell had given her those eyes too many times for it to not be a coincidence. The door bell rings in the foyer and she watches little George climb over his father's legs to run to the door. Atticus follows and ruby can hear laughter coming from the doorway.

"Stina!!!!" George yells loudly.

"Hello Sir George." Christina smiles at her younger cousin before glancing around the door frame and stepping inside. Leti hadn't rushed to put goat's blood around the door which meant she was somewhat welcome.

George starts rapid firing thoughts and questions to the taller woman. Christina nods her head and smiles to her cousin-nephew, but does not take her long wool coat off. Instead she goes to the coat rack looking for a specific multi colored Bode coat. When she finds it she slips it over her forearm and starts walking towards the living room. George is at her heels and Christina suspects Tic has retreated to the TV. He looks at her from the couch and waves.

"Dang you aren't staying, are you?" George looks up at Christina his lip poked out and full of dissapoint and puppy eyed charm. 

Christina reaches out to him, "No George I'm afraid not, I just came to pick up your Aunt Ruby."

"Oh I can take you to her," George nods and grabs her hand. He leads her into the rest of the living room. His small voice yelling excuse me to people who are in his way.

Ruby nods along with the conversation that has drifted into her direction. The boarders are talking politics and she tends to stay out of these conversations.

"Ruby do you think.....,"Jarrell begins to ask her her perspectives.

Ruby watches him talk but a presence to his left pulls her vision. Christina with inquisitive eyes nods to the boy she is being pulled by. George is flapping his gums a mile a minute from what Ruby can tell from her seat. Christina's eyes match her and she can't help but smile. 

Jarrell is still talking and Ruby tunes back into the end of his question. "Or would you rather this new social media to only exist privately."

A voice clears and Ruby sighs knowing she won't be able to answer him.

"Hello everyone, " Christina offers a confident grin to the group. Ruby shifts in her seat. She moves to place Ruby's scarf on her own shoulder and opens out the coat in her hands. Her eyes greet all of them and grow sharp to a certain pair of brown eyes. His eyes are just as "green" as hers and his jaw clenched. 

Ruby rolls her eyes glancing between the two people clearly having a whose is bigger contest. Christina's is. Not William or Chris but Christina and Ruby has known that since the day she met him. While he might be larger in some departments like his hands and broadness he has nowhere the amount of confidence Christina has. Most people don't hold a candle to her cunning manipulative delight.

Ruby clears her throat, gaining Christina's attention. She tries to telepathically tell her to stop.

"I will have to get back to you on that Jarrell." Ruby says and bats her eyelashes before standing. She slips her arms into the coat being held by long arms until its draped over her. Ruby passes Christina the bag of food and pulls her scarf from Christina's shoulder, "I have to take this ride home."

Christina crosses her stare directly at Jarrell but her arm is nudged to deter any further prodding. She doesn't look at Ruby but at the boy wrapped around her leg. 

"Ahem Mr. Freeman i cannot move with you latched at my ankles," Christina sets the bag down and playfully prys George from her legs. 

Ruby watches both cousins enter into a playful game of how fast one or the other could move. George giggles loudly as Christina tickles him but doesn't release her.George lifts his arms until Christina lifts the child who is becoming heavy. 

George stares at her with a pout and wagers with her, "Can't you just eat dinner here Stina and then you can take auntie Ruby home."

*********

Ruby and Christina sit at the marble island drinking wine and eatting dessert in their shared kitchen. Christina ate dinner at Leti's while Ruby and Leti went on a walk. She ate and he talked until she was finished her plate and his eyes were getting heavy. She put George to bed with his father's permission after he stayed up telling her everything he's done since she's been gone. Ruby came back from outside sharing puffy eyes with her sister. They had a conversation that Christina and Tic were both shut out of. Ruby wanted to leave immediately as she returned eager to get back to her Hyde Park estate rather than spend another minute around Leti.

"So you need me to give a testimony?" Ruby mumbles clearing the last bits of her dessert.

"If that's okay with you, I'm not....I do not want to pressure you. It's not going to go some mass media publication that you testified. Well it shouldn’t but it's.....there is a chance someone could say something. Aleja’s testimony alone should be fine." Christina shoulders and she speaks but her eyes are glued to the sweets on her plate.

"Christina. It's fine, I can just charm their memories away.....remember. Also since she's staying I should probably fix up one of the guest rooms." Ruby bites her tongue remembering she had just agreed to letting the woman stay in her home. Maybe Leti was partially correct, she did things that would eventually break her heart. Too bad it was already broken.

Christina nods, "I can do it and thank you for letting her stay here."

"Two days and then she can find a hotel also, shouldn't she be telling me that." Ruby inhales deeply as it is taking a lot to not call Christina out. She watches as Christina mindlessly places a piece of Hippolyta's sweet potato pie in her mouth. Blue eyes are gazing at the air like it's not transparent. Ruby sees pupils tiny and watches the clock gears rotate in Christina's head.

When did she teach ruby memory removal? 1485, no. July, no. Christina feels her face stiffen as she filters through her memories. Her jaw is still chewing the piece of well mushed pie over and over. She cannot remember where or when she last spent a day teaching Ruby magic. Nothing as trivial as a memory fog or slight of hand, they stuck to more difficult spells and the basic principles. Her chest feels like it's caving in as she rips through doors of memories in her mind. 

"When....when...... when did we," Christina feels her body sway a little into the kitchen island. 

Ruby watches Christina and sees the wrinkles forming so stiff it causes her to hop up from her chair. A blue vein is popping out of the blonde's head and her breath is shallow. Rubys brain thinks stroke but she remembers the scarred flesh on Christina's torso. That’s impossible.

Maybe this was just a panic attack which she has had a few but never experienced Christina having one. Not like this. Her hands move fast and she rests her hands on Christina's shaky vice grip. Christina looks even paler than her normal self but is not responding with her usual dry banter. Ruby steadies Christina against the island before filling a glass of water from the fridge door.

'Its too much', a deep voice reverbs in Christina's mind. His voice is as much hers and she knows its just her psyche. But her thoughts have their body stiff in anxiety and her frantically chasing a memory she does not have. Where did the memories of Ruby go in her mind? They weren't with their trip to Mexico or her memories of a private getaway on the east coast. The memories of teaching Ruby could have only vanished in thin air and Christina feels her heart flutter painfully. Her brain starts to fixate on what else could be missing.

Ruby rests a hand on Christina's back, "Breathe Chris breathe. Relax before you end up in the ER, you didn't teach me. I read your notebooks and learned it from those." 

"It's too much," Christina whispers. It is not supposed to be like this, her plans never included this. Everything had been in her control and meticulously planned. She had plans for everything except when this passion trip would end. She even planned for the small fallout of her death. A death by her own accidental hand or a misstep of her own arrogance. Her career being in jeopardy because of a private temporary fling was never in the plans.

Losing Ruby for her own happiness burned her raw but she knew the loss would be worth it. A fair compromise and offering to who ever the fuck controlled magic to give her a piece of what she wanted. Fulfillment, honor, a damned legacy and time to find happiness that she had not known yet. Ruby gave her the feeling of a home neither of her parents could give her. Home was loving, warm, safe, and it only lasted for several months out of the year. Several months that ate into her own needs and wants. 

Christina was not a hit dog when her T.A emailed her about rumors going around. She denied briskly and downplayed the severity by traveling to Berlin with Titus and his no phones policy. He wanted to see Berlin in 2016, who was she to say no and left her phone on DND. It was a journey of hubris, the same thing that had unknowingly just fucked her over. A few intense magically sent headaches woke her in her pristine empty hotel room. Aleja sent her migraines to catch her attention and they worked because one lengthy phone call later and Christina had started to plan to leave Berlin in a few days. She made the most of Berlin pretending she was not going back to a shit storm fueled by campus boredom. That was when Titus beckoned her with a job in 1692. His true intentions for the trip came to light in a tense conversation that followed his call. Berlin held a second time machine and Titus intended to use it the minute they stepped into present LAX. Getting reception sent her phone and any plans into a tailspin.

Her emails were overflowing with official emails from the dean of students, missed phone calls from Ruby, and Aleja's hundredth screenshot. There was no way she could work under the circumstances and Titus would rather her not. But she insisted she could help him with one last tip and they went to Salem and set Titus up to survive on his own without her. He did creepily say he would be back and that she had a key through time close to Chicago if she needed an escape. But, was time jumping worth losing all of her memories. 

Christina drops the metal fork on the marble with a loud clink and turns into Ruby's side. She is pulling the woman close and doesn't sense any resistance. Her arms drape over the slightly shorter woman and her breathing is fast as she collects herself. For a moment she thought time traveling was starting to have adverse effects of memory loss. It was something her mark of Cain could repair but with all things there was a point of irrepair.

*********

"Christ," Ruby cries out as she holds onto the headboard tightly above her.

Chris laughs out, " You know we should really establish rules Ruby." He thrust steadily into herwith a certain fine tuned rhythm. "I don't want to make any of your joy toys upset when you stop calling."

Ruby bends her knee and glares up at him, "You are not negotiating rules with me, while your dick is inside me." Ruby bites her bottom lip and mules out, " Fuck, who says I will, fuck, stop calling."

Chris bucks forward faster and deeper, "Oh am I not."

Ruby grips his forearms feeling her vision float. "No," she rasps out but her vision goes cloudy as he moves her hand to his chest. The sound of the bedframe knocking against the wall, ticks like a clock.

"But you said tomorrow," Chris grinds out slowly watching Ruby's mouth open and close for air. Ghosts over her lips he groans, "And it  i s technically tomorrow Ruby."

Ruby swallows a moan feeling his hands on her thighs and hips. A grip that tightens as he keeps her in place. Her hand palming his chest curls into place as nails scratch at pale flesh. The air is warm and his chest rises and falls in between beats.

"Chris please," Ruby gasps looking at the curl on his lips as he slowly pulls in and out of her. 

Christina laughs inside or so she thinks until a deep low chuckle is coming from their chest. It gets louder until he's sighing and their eyes are pooling with sadism. His vision zones out entirely while his body continues coaxing Ruby to the edge.

Ruby bites her bottom lip staring up at the man illuminated by warm fake candle light. His eyes look at her like she is an ocean that he could get lost in. A lost gaze that worries her and she reaches out to his neck. Her fingers rest there as she struggles to question," What's...so...funny?"

Chris answers, "You'll stop calling when you realize they don't make your eyes do that."

Ruby knows what they're talking about but can only sigh in response. She can hear his silent steady praises from above. 

"You look fucking divine when your eyes roll back for me."

Chris leans down over her pinning a leg in place with one hand while his mouth works on hardened flesh in between his lips. Ruby can't help but moan quietly into the air feeling herself clench.

"Shit," Chris sighs still chipping away at Ruby inch after inch. Ruby grips the pony tail tied behind his head and pulls his face away. Her legs wrap around his waist as he burys his face into her neck. She whines out its mine and he bites back his immediate response. Hips increase their speed while the lips and teeth attached her neck suck in air. 

"Whose is it?," Ruby digs her nails into his back.

Chris grunts, "Fuck don't start that shit."

Ruby whines in their ear, "Christina whose is it?" Her leg holds him steady as he quickens his deadly pace.

His arms tense and he sighs contently, "Yours." 

"Who's?" Ruby arches into him.

"Fuck daddy," he growls in her ear and she feels his shoulders prickle. The pace of his hips rocks with hers and she feels her vision blur again. Christina really had to learn other coping mechanisms Ruby ponders but whimpers with him in her arms.

Ruby closes her eyes and she feels herself getting closer and closer. She breathes out into his ear "Babe what's my name?"

"Daddy," Chris grips the bed and grunts, "there happy?" 

Ruby rasps, "Mmmhm," while digging her nails in deeper. She's the one who let them mooth talk her into this bed. Christina was too anxious but Chris could deflect with sex. Ruby knew before Christina even recited the spell and she had her hand on him, that he needed this relief more than her. He also won't go to bed leaving her unsatisfied. Ruby hears the shakiness in his breathing and the repeated whines that sound like her ex. She sighs again, "Now cum."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bye Pumpkin. As always I apologize for such lengthy chapters and I am sure you all can now see why I split this one up so much. I also apologize if there are things in this chapter that seem disconnected. Just felt very lost and unsure of certain interactions and timeline, but this could be the maybe adhd in my brain. If anyone has tips on making things flow better dm me on Tumblr. Smut will just be something I never really fully excel at and i am more than okay with that. BUT there will be more interwoven “spicy-ness” coming in the next part. Feedback as usual is very welcomed, good or bad, especially in between this part and the next.


	9. Cause We've Ended as Lovers: part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My favorite electronic pop producer passed on the 30th and it was my birthday. So I stalled on this, anyway here's part 3 let me know your thoughts and I hope you enjoy this last part of chapter 6. Welcome Aleja.

"It's not happening."

She glares at the ceiling above her round bed. The dampened thumping through the walls could be mistaken for the clothes dryer, but it is 2 am in the morning and laundry day is Sunday. Today is hump day and apparently her home's former head of household and his new bed tenant are rousing floor boards. Ruby grips the comforter under her hands, she said it was okay but Christina knew she was bluffing. Christina just did not care. A cold modeled jaw awaiting a trial that could ruin his life was anxious and they freeballed anxiety with distractions. 

This is just a distraction Ruby thinks but she can't help but listen in to the distant thumping. Distant motions of hips that have careened inside of her until they both tire of the taste of flesh. A steady beat starts in her body and she clenches her fist. Ruby digs her nails into her palm and sighs.

A quiet moan comes through the cracks in the door and Ruby's eyes go wide. The woman under her most adept ex lover is gasping. Gasping for something that makes Ruby clench her thighs together. A voice full of rasp and need for more than the blonde could give.

"Ruby!" Aleja calls out breathily from her place on the bed splayed bottom up indecently. 

30 minutes ago.

"Are you sure it's going to work she doesn't seem like the type to be into that thing," Aleja mumbles reading another e-mail.

Christina furrows her brow at the woman lounged in her bed. She swallows her water with hollowed cheeks and thrums the antique dresser.

She cleared her throat, "You don't know her. She is interested, just stubborn."

Aleja pulls her glasses from her face and watches the blonde stretch in place. This woman is so fucking tense, Aleja thinks while watching blonde brows wince with every tug. Christina looks like she's trained for a marathon but has rarely done more than walk quickly down the street. Aleja folds her glasses and sits them in the side table. She has been reading Christina's email exchanges with students. Christina has been on edge since she picked her up from the airport. Aleja doesn't doubt that Christina has been just as anxious in the days prior to her arrival. Hours ago the blonde was slumped against a fancy car in an old Stanford sweater and baggy sweatpants. 

Looking as regular as she was able to look, waiting for Aleja to exit the airport. The car looks shined new on the outside but is without that new car smell. The tags are metal and not made of temporary paper. Christina's presence in Chicago IS temporary or at least that is what she's texted Aleja. Aleja is honestly just waiting for the other loafer to drop since Christina speaks little of it. The loafer is the trial. If it ends well, that means Christina will still be barred and yet bound to campus for days. 

Days that she can't go running through time and space for someone whose patience is thin. Christina won't be allowed to fraternize on campus with colleagues because that would give the wrong impression. It is all damage control for a situation that would hopefully remain on campus.Running off would just be an admission of guilt no matter the verdict. The thrown on comfort outfit is worn all day which is quite out of the ordinary Aleja's used to. She sees how the former debutante is different in this city tension aside. Relaxed fashion, new car, and a local eye for food suggestions or tourist traps to avoid. 

Aleja watched Christina shift the conversation whenever the current manor owner came up. She tries to ask her things about one Ruby Baptiste but Christina is not opening up much. She opens a heavy wooden door and not much else. The home has a grandeur in it's molding and exterior that stinks of Braithwhite. High privacy bushes and a landscaped pathway to an ornate wooden door. The interior is warmer and outfitted with someone else's touches. A home is what she enters into, someone else's home she's aware.

Detailed and creative touches bring the living spaces to life. Large plants in a variety of glass pots sit in corners of the entertainment rooms. The main living room holds an entire vinyl setup with a bookshelf filled with records. Some highly coveted vintage pressings are what Aleja spies. The bar that is built into the wall holds spirits and liquors that she's never heard Christina ask for. Books are piled together on the hearth and the spines read "...Lessons from the Crematory" and "The Art of War for Women." Aleja plays this giant game of i spy, spotting the biggest divest from Christina Braithwhite is the opposite room. What would normally be a sitting room for entertainment is a patched studio setup running wires under rugs and down the hallway. 

She glances around at the studio from the archway as Christina traverses the space for a folder. It is very beautiful even with the technical aspects. Oddly shaped black foam panels line brightly painted Victorian walls. There are even more shelves holding tons and tons of records. Guitars are hung on the wall except for one that sits on a stand next to a microphone. In the corner sits several off but large lights on stands with a traveling studio crate scrawled in bright red font "Ruby." Her eyes trace the cursive letters on the box before looking for more clues in the room. A closet in the corner has a post-it note scribbled sound booth and Aleja watches Christina cautiously move, holding an overflowing folder. The woman tiptoed away from the large baby grand piano in the center of all the musical chaos.

"A Steinway, fancy?" Aleja mentioned before following Christina, who is carrying the folder and her bags up the stairs.

Aleja smirked when Christina whispered, "She deserves the best but I can play too you know."

"You'll have to show me some time," Aleja joked. She simultaneously wondered "who is she'' as she noticed the foyer walls are covered in images of a life that lived in this home. Not the star everyone saw but the person. Who is she, the private life of the voice that sings over an overplayed iPhone commercial. Photos of black art are framed in a collage style with frames of family photos and silver colored album plaques. Who was this woman she was playing a game of I spy to find in this house of memories.

Large gold plaques give an illusion that the wall is not missing anything. It distracts from the emptiness and focuses on the accomplishments. Yet, there are too many blank spaces and empty frames on the wall to be a happy coincidence. Aleja smiles kindly at the faces on the wall she does pass. She feels her heart flutter with glimpses of the "she" Christina tries to pretend doesn't scare her. Aleja is not afraid but she is curiously intimidated by Ruby.

None of these photos look like the woman who knows her way to the guest room. A guest room that is tidy and passes one that resembles chaos. The glimpse is enough for her to place her friend's mental state which is an absolute mess. Aleja follows the blonde for a grand tour of the home. Boxes in an open hallway closet are piled high labeled in sharpie "Christina's shit". She wonders with every cold corner they turn how many of the empty spaces in this house tailor a svelte almost 6 foot witch. 

How many spaces formed in the past 5 months that the witch had already outgrew? Was there a medicine cabinet with outdated or unused prescriptions for Christina. A sock drawer with missing sock pairs? Aleja is beyond curious to know and look for more traces of Christina Braithwhites here. Not just in this mansion but in Chicago too.

The blonde is pointing while talking about bathrooms and a house layout that Aleja won't have any time to enjoy. She takes note of everything because she is a guest and a well mannered one. She does not want to wake Christina or Ruby just to find her way to the bathroom in the night. The kitchen almost makes her jaw unhinge in awe as it extends into a tall round conservatory. A mixture of the traditional home restored to glory that bled into touches of stained glass and vibrance. Christina mentions it's been redecorated and remodeled since she's lived there but it was in the original house plans. 

There is a non-creepy warm smile as kind blue eyes trace the room. It's a rare smile that she sees from Christina when they hike and reach a summit or her doorbell is rung at some odd hour. Aleja is comforted that Christina shares her admiration for the space and it's change. A change that was coming and planned likely while she still had a say in the house. The "small" conservatory looks like someone else's addition completely with not one piece of Christina. The last place they venture is a quiet gray basement that teems with magical and dark energy. An energy that Aleja is more than happy to get her hands into.

An hour later with delivery Thai and a bottle of Prosecco they are catching up in the living room. Christina asks how the newly revamped Alvez, her restaurant and cover for the lodge, is doing. She wants to know what her friend has been up to that doesn't involve magic. Most of their friendship is based on magic and when it's not they still manage to bring the topic back up again. Eventually the trial is brought up and Christina finds her words failing her. Aleja reassures her older counterpart that this will be resolved. She offers to go through hundreds of emails that night that Christina has responded to, looking for any unsightly hair. Aleja doubts there is anything to find, but she knows Christina won't rest until every stone is overturned and finished with.

As they ate take out in the grand modern boho living room Aleja dropped a nugget into the blonde's hands. A nugget that Christina visibly shudders at and disperses.

"Berkley is hiring for a visiting position and Stanford still has that open assistant position in Theology." Aleja let her lips loose and sipped her Starbucks as if she didn't shift the gears in Christina's head backwards.

Christina scrunched her hair with a free hand away from her face as she dropped it. She didn't want Aleja to catch on that she was thinking about it. Then she remembers Aleja doesn't need facial expressions to read her mind. Christina glared at Aleja and the brunette just shrugged her shoulders. 

It was an hour or so later when Ruby would finally get home from work and Aleja would meet her curiosity face to face.

She stared too much Ruby thought as she ate dinner at the dining room table. Every time her eyes weren't on the other brunette in the room she felt those eyes on her. Not the cold blue ones but warm hazely green irises that gaze at her. Gaze at her like she was some entity plucked from the green earth. Ruby did like her voice though, because she spoke as if the cosmos were where she came from. Not Cuba or California but like she'd traveled throughout time and space and had seen more than she had words for.

It was intriguing.

Christina cut into her crisp chicken and listened to the serrated edge cutting through meat and hitting the plate. There is a gulp from one side of the table matching Aleja's on the opposite. Christina felt like she was in the middle of a gun draw whenever silence enters the conversation they are having. The conversation is normal and friendly but when it's not there is a silence filled with glances and wine drinking. Heavy wine drinking until Ruby breaks the silence.

"How does it taste, Aleja ?" Ruby asks intensly staring.

Aleja responds after swallowing, "Delicious thank you."

Ruby hums, "They are just leftovers," and then stares at Christina with a smile in her eyes.

Aleja says looking at Christina who’s avoiding Ruby's eyes, "Still very flavorful on the tongue. I wonder what the chef tastes like." 

Ruby and Christina both sputter on their drinks and food respectively. Ruby's eyes go wider and she puts her glass back on the table. Aleja just raises a brow as she wonders if she said something inappropriate.

Christina recovers and laughs out, "I told you she was forward."

Hours and many laughs later Christina is reaching for her phone in Aleja's hands. She feels eyes burrowing holes into her. The well worn tank top she has on clings to the damp parts of her skin. Looking down she shakes her head at Aleja grin of fake innocence. Colorful nails reached out and pull Christina by the collar, maybe just maybe this sleeping arrangement would work.

Aleja gasps loudly gripping the blonde head in between her thighs, "Ruby!"

"It's not going to happen" that's what Ruby tells herself as she covers her head with her sheet and comforter.

*********

Christina smiles to herself after glancing at the ticking clock on the wall. She stares at the women who sleep on either side of her. A tan toned back flush against her side and a dark thigh saddled under against her hip. All of their feet are tangled in a sheet that was haphazardly thrown across them. Both women are sound asleep and Christina watches their skin covered in a blue glow rise and fall steadily. A cell phone on the nightstand is giving her just enough light to see Ruby's nose flare with each breath. Christina brushes a light kiss into a tightly secured scarf.

Her arm not wrapped around Ruby rests over Aleja's side. She can feel the rise and fall of her stomach under her fingers. Glancing at the clock and then the ceiling she thinks, it's only a few days.

The morning is quiet, Ruby wakes first, then Aleja, and then Christina long after her bed is empty. She enters the kitchen with her hair still damp in a tight black longsleeve and a pair of sweatpants. She glides into the kitchen heading straight for the coffee pot that still looks warm. It is also where Ruby stands dressed in a relaxed outfit but looking divine. 

Ruby leans into her side holding a cup of coffee while she pours on for herself. Lips graze her ear making her lean into them.

"Your rules are on the fridge and I'm going to need you to buy condoms." Ruby whispers before leaning back against the counter. 

Christina grins and blows on her coffee. "That second pill didn't last long."

"I'm not chanceing anything especially not with your little girlfriend prancing around my damn house half dressed." Ruby sips from her mug and glances outside.

"Sure Ruby sure, " Christina drinks from her own mug. Christina watches Ruby walk out of the kitchen and bites her tongue lightly. There is indeed a long post-it note attached to the fridge door. She doesn't look at it right away, instead looking out the window and tuning into a bundled up woman doing yoga stretches in the backyard.

**********

_ "All the places i've known and the faces i've seen, _

_ Over time are unseen and unknown." _

Ruby feels her voice crackle and rattle like an untamed fire. Her fingers play unsteady simple chords. The black soundproof black walls surrounding her feel more boundless than confining. The mic filter creates a static from the charge of her lips as they form sounds into words.

_ "When you live in the dark, _

_ And you start to believe that everyone is asleep. _

_ In the same way that you are." _

The light bulb over her head would be dim and warm if she hadn't shut it off. It would remind her of the warm bed she left so late in the night to be here. She needed darkness and quiet to erase the pounding screaming of the world. A world that tells her who she is not allowed to be and her label's support means shit. Shit, when the comments of her post juggle between oversexualizing her, supportive people, fathphobia, and concerns that she is queer baiting. 

_ "Half life and half dream _

_ And half crazy to believe in." _

She wanted to sleep and fall into dreams that did not involve her biggest fears.

_ "Anything at all, _

_ I thought i knew it well." _

The bass track in her ears is playing as she strums her guitar.

_ "In my mind i knew well, _

_ What i wanted you to be.” _

The muted glowing recording light has layers of colored electrical tape stuck over it. The blurry red light turns hazy through her bleary stare.

_ "In this world i know the love it never is what it is to me. _

_ And it's always half strange to believe in anything." _

Her breathing stutters as her forehead beads with sweat. Droplets of the activity that forms in her still moments and the croon she's found.

_ "Halfway insane and halfway home in your arms." _

A new sound of her usual deep soothing sadness one of broken jagged glass. Shards that split her raspy into shaky cries. Cries that are so controlled and still broken.

_ "Always love. _

_ Always.  _

_ Always love _

_ Always. _

_ Always love. _

_ Always love." _

She envisions dirty blood-shot stares, a tormented baby's wail, and the seething desire to free the bond that keeps her. Ruby Baptiste believes in so much now that she doesn't remember when she stopped trusting her intuition. Sorcerers, monsters, ancient gods, and many eyed wing-ed beasts named angels. Angels that saved her in her dreams on more than one occasion.

_ "Always love, Like no other love.  _

_ Like no other love. _

_ Like no other love." _

A strange cramp stills in the flesh of Ruby Baptiste. Angels that no longer blink their many eyes and flap their wings in menacing She huffs out a gut punching whine,  _ "Like no other love I'd known, I'd known before." _

The cramp persists in her uterus and Ruby exhales hearing a click of the light turning off. Her breathing shakes her shoulders slightly as her hands rest against quiet strings. A tear runs from her chin onto the neck of the guitar with no soft bony thumbs to brush them away.

Her head shakes as her body cradles and rocks her 6 stringed child. A pickup and receiver plugged into a distant amplifier. A replacement for her empty womb. A womb tightening from the electricity strapped to her body searching for a heartbeat inside her. 

Thump thump thump thump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm 25 now. RIP Sophie. I'm writing and uploading this to distract myself with some friends' help as well. The song she sings at the end is Always Half Strange by Angel Olsen. New chapter for “Just Like Us” will come soon. I am just trying to write a bit of what everyone wanted before they go to Disney because not everyone’s as hype as me for Disney haha. 
> 
> Considering sharing some shorts scripts i‘ve written over quarantine, through one of these fics or ships so would anyone be interested in that as a one shot with these characters as place holders for my own? Let me know your thoughts on the last part of the chapter and anything else.


End file.
